Easily Amused
by Audrey Bogart
Summary: I....I look just like her! Shigure stumbles upon a lost American who uncovers more than the Sohma secret. Rated for language and then some
1. Things That Make You Go 'Hmmm'

> New story!!! Yay!  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own Fruits Basket. I only own Dusty. She is mine!!! I also don't own the song below...  
  
**Easily Amused - Things That Make You Go 'Hmmm'**  
  
This wasn't intended. Not by a longshot. I didn't plan on coming to Japan to get lost in a sea of tourists and gardens. It just kind of happened. Alright, i'll admit it. It didn't just happen. I should've kept a closer eye on my group of friends, making sure I was within a few feet of them. But no. My mind had to wander off into the gutter as it spotted a machine that cured...um...sexual frustrations. Curiosity killed the cat. In this case, it got the horny toad lost. I sigh as I hold my bruised wrist and I can't help but remember the past few days that led up to this single moment in which I felt like a lost little Cajun girl...  
  
"We're so proud of you!!", my parents chimed together. They were the epitomy of perfect parenting. My mother, a local artist, had done her best as a single mom. She worked as maid for a wealthy family during the day and worked on her art when she came home. I can't say that we hurt for money but at times, it seemed we were better off living in a shelter. That all changed three years ago when my mom met Henry DeMurr, a widely known doctor in New Orleans. It was as if the story of Cinderella had unfolded right before me. Henry had literally bumped into my mom on her way to an art show and before either of them knew it, they were going on dates and sending each other sweet little text messages. Watching a pair of 43 year olds romantisize over my technically advanced cellphone is not your average senior's fantasy. But I coped and within the same year they met, they were married. And then came Meredith. My little sister. If cute had a picture next to its definition in the dictionary, Meredith would be right beside it, holding her overly stuffed dog to her chest and gleaming with the sappy smile that could bring a tear to the Grinch's eye.  
We were driving home from my highschool graduation. Both Henry and my mom agreed that it was my decision if I wanted to attend a university or go to technical school. In all honesty, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My counselors had jumped down my throat numerous times for not having a plan or a career choice for that matter. For awhile, it bugged me; not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. But as of last month, I was proud. I had narrowed my careers to a good ten choices from the previous thirty.There was always the choice of techinical school. Besides, my grades were less the perfect for university standards. It's not that i'm not smart. Any of my classmates will tell you of their losses with me in a battle of wits. But it's not for me. I was never into math or science or even gym, course who IS into getting sweaty and being hit by a volleyball in the head every five minutes? Not me, that's for sure. My main focus had been on my writing. Henry loved the idea of me becoming a famous novelist or the next Mark Twain. I constantly laughed at the idea of putting boobs on a picture of Mark Twain. We parked the large SUV in the driveway and I quickly shed my body of the insatiable violet gown the highschool forced us to wear.  
"I wanted a few more pictures before you took that off."  
"You have over forty five, Momma!" Momma. I can't believe I still used such a childish reference to my mother. She pouted, which looked cute on her. Her glossy lips mixed with her cobalt eyes and blonde hair - priceless. It was probably that same pout that snagged the slightly chunky, balding Henry DeMurr. Mom took my gown as I plopped down on the ivory couch in the living room. I was anticipating a call from Becky or Matt in concerns to a party that had been rumored around school. To go or not to go, that was the question. I really never was the party type.  
"Dusty, hun, would you come into the kitchen please?" My mother's smooth Cajun voice drifted through the large house. I wish I could pull off the sweet Southerner thing, but I was too rough around the edges; too weird. I was no Louisianian Scarlett O'Hara, that's for damn sure. I jumped over Meredith's head, barely missing her curly flaxen head. She looked like a replica of my mother, only with Henry's deep chocolate eyes. I fit in no where. You could look at one of our family portraits and tell right off the bat that three blondes ( I assume Henry was blonde before he went bald) are related, then there's the chesnut haired, grey eyed tall one in the back. And you think 'Was she adopted or something?' No, I just look more like my father, damn yankee. I winced and mentally cursed myself for my mouth. I could never control it.  
I stepped inside the tiled room as Henry pulled up a chair and placed a plane ticket in front of me. Oh great, they're tired of me already? I squinted at the rectangular piece of paper, barely able to make out the words without my glasses. I really should've stuck with contacts.  
"What is this?'', I asked, knowing exactly what it was.  
"It's a plane ticket....to Japan." Okay, getting rid of me is one thing, but sending me to another country?! Tell me it wasn't because I cussed in front of Meredith. My silver eyes lit up in spite of the ideas my mind conjured up. It was Japan!! I had wanted to go there since I first received pictures from my father, who just so happened to photograph these places for traveling brochures. I began to scream like a school girl at a Backstreet Boys concert and bouncing around like a jackrabbit on crack. I couldn't control myself. I had over a thousand dollars for my graduation trip that I had saved up during my endless hours at Honkey Dog, and a free plan ticket to Japan. Not only that, but my passport was still good!! I hugged my mom and stepfather and immediately ran over to the phone to call Becky.  
"Japan!! Becky!! Do you hear me?! Japan?!" I was practically screaming into the phone.  
"Uh, lemme get her for you." My cheeks burned with an ignorant blush. I had yelped into the ear of Jett, Becky's older, and very, VERY attractive brother who just so happened to be out of college for summer vacation.  
"Dusty? What's wrong?" I figured Jett must've gotten freaked out by my yelling escapade. I quieted down, barely able to control my excited octaves.  
"Japan!! Becky! Japan!" I could hear her squeal softly over the phone.  
"I know!! Our parents got together and planned it for us!!! Can you believe it?!" Becky wasn't your typical outcast. I mean, we're polar opposites. I tend to communicate with everyone and ease my way into the lives of everyone's clique, not really caring about the person's genre. Not Becky. She declared her love for everything goth and leaned towards the darker things in life. But she was weird. Just like me. I was a Dean Martin fan, she was Rasputina. I loved Saturday morning cartoons, she loved dark indie films. I loved Van Gogh, she loved the fact the fact the Van Gogh cut off his ear. We had absolutely nothing in common EXCEPT an infatuation with scary movies. It was the building block of our friendship. We accepted our differences and rarely fought over petty things such as the fact I can't stand death meatal and she can't stand Nat King Cole. Like I said, polar opposites.  
  
It was two weeks later that we boarded the plane with two other girls who we hung out with on a daily basis - Kimmi and Frankie. I wasn't particulary close with Kimmi because for one, she was a sophmore and was only traveling with us because Becky's aunt had helped pay for Becky's ticket and insisted that Kimmi come with us. Frankie was a different story. Becky, Frankie and I were known as the three stooges. We went everywhere together. However, Frankie was a year older than us and graduated the year before. She was the tough one. No drama. If you pissed her off, you knew about it.  
"Yo Dusty!! Talk to me, Talk to me, Talk to me Bay-bay!!" I cringed as Frankie yelled out her infamous mating call to the entire plane. I didn't mind the Bay-bay part, it was my name. I still believe my mother was high on something, perhaps morphine, when she gave the nurse my name. Becky and Frankie thought it was cool to have the name Dusty, it sounded like I was a rebel in some sort of motor gang. It was rare times like these that I wished for a commonly used name like 'Sarah' or 'Christina'. I sighed and waited for my peanuts.  
I barely remember the plane ride, for a I slept a good deal of the way. My mother warned me of jet lag but it was impossible for me. I could sleep anywhere at anytime. Call it a gift. I remember Frankie arguuing with Kimmi if the guy in front of them was wearing a toupee and I remember Becky conversing with herself quietly over the movie they had picked for the trip. But never once did I remember hearing the pilot say 'We're here.' Or maybe it was Becky who said it. Anyway, we stumbled off the plane, ready to meet with our bags and head to our hotel - complete with American toilets.  
The next few days were a blur. We went sight seeing alot, stopping inside an interesting looking store every now and then. And then we hit that street. The one street that led me to this moment. It was slightly crowded with our Japanese peers. Frankie held the translation book and Kimmi was stuck with the cash. I, however, held the camera. The precious machine that would catch every girlish moment, every eccentric sight. Frankie and Becky were a few feet ahead of Kimmi as I stopped to peer into a store that held a point of interest for me. A machine that gave you....well you get the picture. I paused, enthralled at the fact that a machine could do that. I'm not perverted. I'm a virgin. Things like this just happen to catch my attention when I least expect it. Okay, and i'm TAD perverted. I turned my head just in time to see Kimmi's red head disappear into the crowd of passerbys.  
I swallowed a large lump in my throat as I ran to catch up, only to find that my friends were no where in sight. Panic struck me. I was alone in a country that I had never visited before. No money, no map, and worst of all - no translation book. I scampered to the first person I saw.  
"Excuse me sir!! Do you know how to get back to the Sakura Hotel?" He looked at me funny, receiving an equally confusing look from myself. Even in a strange country I give attitude. He began a long string of fast Japanese, sending my brain into an overload. "Okay, whoa. Wait! Hold on!! English? Do you know English?!" He studied me for a moment, trying to analyze what I had just said.  
"English?" I nodded hastily. Finally, we're getting somewhere. He shook his head and began another string of Japanese as proceeded down the street, shaking me off his arm. I tried a few more people, realizing that not many tourists ventured out this way. I settled on the idea of a break and sat myself on a stone ledge. I was lost and bored. Bored and lost. I hummed a light tune from 'Josie and the Pussycats'. I hated that movie. However, the plane had chosen to play it and the opening song remained glued to my memory. I began to take pictures of the crowds, mentally flipping off the adult novelty store that had gotten me lost in the first place.  
So here I sit, singing to myself and cussing at my camera because I ran out of film. It's amazing how time flies by with five rolls of film. Becky would not be happy about this. And then it hit - helplessness- big time. And I began to cry. Not the dramatic bawling like you see in E.T. or something. It was more of the soft, heart wrenching kind. Like a first breakup type of crying. In pure frustration, I pounded my fist into the stone ledge before immediately yanking it back in pain. Smooth move chikita. My hand and wrist throbbed from the impact and I could see a bruise forming by the second. It was then I began to pull at my lip. It was a bad habit I had picked up as a preteen. I always did it when I became nervous or frustrated and would end up resembling Linda Blair in possessed form from The Exorcist. No wonder I was single. I leaned back against a tree throwing my hand over my face as if I were a damsel in distress. Which basically I was, except for the damsel part. This was punishment. This was punishment for something I had no idea I had done but I was receiving major chastening for it. I groaned out loud, praying that my friends would come for me soon or I would spot an English speaking cop. I sighed once more. I don't even know if Japan has a police force. If this were France, I could get out. Hell, I spent a good two years studying the culture and the language and memorized every landmark. You ask me where the Louvre is and I can tell you in ten seconds flat. But nowhere, I mean nowhere, does France tell you about a Japanese police force. I tugged at my lip again, spotting drops of blood from where I had tugged just a little too hard.  
"You're bleeding." I screamed and fell from my perch on the stone ledge.  
  
Shigure Sohma fixed his tie and bent down to rub a smudge off his shoe. He had been watching the strange girl for some time, first noticing her when she left her group to spy on the adult store. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Finally, a female as perverted as himself. He ordered a soft drink from a nearby vendor and continued to gaze at the beauty from afar. She was obviously American. No Japanese woman would get freaked out by a man telling her directions. And then there was the humming. She was humming to herself and taking pictures of random people. This intrigued Shigure. What fascinated him even more was her crying. This girl was the ideal basis of his newest book. She resembled everything he wanted to put down in words. So, like any interested gentlman, Shigure nonchalantly walked over to where she had lay down. He couldn't help but comment on her bleeding lip. He wondered if she hurt herself intentionally after the run in with the stone ledge and her hand. It didn't turn out quite like he had expected. The girl shrieked and fell from the force of her bellow. Shigure kneeled over her.  
  
I admit, I hadn't anticipated an English speaking man, a cute one for that matter, to waltz up to me, state the obvious and scare the living daylights out of me in the same breath. The blow to my rear was now taking the place of the pain in my lip but not from my wrist, which was now a pretty shade of red. Every inch of the man was gorgeous, which was another thing that caught me off gaurd. A handsome guy, who speaked English, approached me. This was something that didn't happen everyday. My brained scanned every cell for some witty comment that would prove to draw him in but my lips only muttered the following:  
"You....you speak English...." He smiled at me, although I didn't know if it was from my impish statement or the crimson blush that had risen upon my cheeks that accompanied my equally red hand.  
"Yes. I do. Sohma Shigure." I furrowed my plucked eyebrows. This culture was so damn confusing!  
"Which one is your first name?" He quirked his own eyebrows before the smirk returned as he held out a hand to help me up.  
"Shigure. What is your name, may I ask?" Polite. The eerie kind of polite. I hope this guy isn't the Japanese Ted Bundy.  
"Dusty. Dusty LaFayette. Obviously American."  
"Obviously. Are you lost?" Finally! Help!  
"Incredibly. Do you know where the Sakura Hotel is?" He looked at me strangely. "What?"  
"You must be mistaken. There is no Sakura Hotel." The tears came back. I felt like it was my first day of kindegarten in a huge school.  
"No no no no no. There HAS to be!!" I went to grab for his jacket to emphasize my point, only to feel the throbbing wrist pull me back. I winced in pain and held my wrist to my chest.  
"You need medical attention."  
"I need to go home."  
"We will worry about that later. First and foremost, medical attention. That wrist will begin to swell soon." I was beginning to grow nervous again. Could I have hurt it that bad?  
"Really?" He waved away the comment, the simper returning to his lips.  
"I don't know! I'm not really a doctor, but I know one!" He turned and began to walk away. I ran up behind him, assuming this was an indication to follow.  
"Ari....Ari...." Damn this language. He glanced back at me from behind his shoulder. "Screw it. Merci beaucoup ma cherie."  
"You're welcome." I was offcially smitten. Cute, sweet, and a french speaking man!  
"I have to warn you....i'm bit on the weird side. Most people don't care for freaks." He paused, causing me to almost slam into him.  
"You have no idea."  
  
A/N: Ok, so it's not that long...I know.....but i'm getting to the plot, I swear. Shigure may be a tad out of character,so just bear with me.


	2. Really, Really

So...today was my last day. Expect many many many updates and a few new stories!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.....for shame  
  
Easily Amused: Really, Really  
  
"OWW!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!!! OUCH!!! THAT HURTS!!" I screamed in agony as the doctor approached me. My eyes were closed and and my good arm was outstretched to keep away the insane doc. Well I didn't know if he was insane. My eyes were shut so tightly...  
"I haven't even touched you yet." I opened one eye and giggled nervously. The guy didn't look like a crackpot at all. In fact, he was just as cute as my rescuer who remained lounging in the corner. However, reality came crashing back down as he made an effort to grab for my wrist. I yanked it back like he was emitting a different kind of heat that burned the skin just by looking at him. My silverish eyes turned into defensive slits.  
"And you're not going to either." Call me paranoid, but I have a thing with doctors. I hate them. Granted, i've had the occasional handsome medical man that I wouldn't mind playing nurse with, but the rest were creepy geezers that wanted nothing more than to stick a needle in me and pretend that a sugarcoated sucker will make it all better. Yeah right. News flash: the candy just made me hyper, and gave my mom a headache. This guy was no different. I scooted to the edge of the small stool I was placed on and held my long leg out as a shield. I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked.  
"Ms......If you would just.....Ms...."  
"LaFayette." Both the doctor and I glanced over at Shigure. So, the man had a good memory. I was so enthralled with the fact that my savior remembered a name that most math and science teachers mispronounced, I hadn't noticed the doctor grab for my hand until I felt the coolness of his palm and a twinge of pain. My eyes watered over and I honestly felt like crying amidst these men.  
"So....Hatori.....wha'ts the diagnosis?" Hatori. So that was the mystery doctor's name. I couldn't say he was creepy looking, because he wasn't. He seemed...sad. His dark hair hung over his left eye and more than anything at that moment, I wanted to brush it away. A pet peeve of mine.  
"Take this." He placed a pill in my already open mouth. My cheeks instantly reddened at the thought of fly roaming my mouth and choking me in front of Shigure. I swallowed the stupid pill with little or no difficulty. What was it for anyway? CRACK!  
"OWWWWWW! Son of a bitch!! Dammit!" Both men's eyes widened at the language pouring from my mouth. Like I said, I can't control it. But the damn doctor broke my wrist!! He fixed something on his vest and proceeded towards the door.  
"It was a fracture. I had to break it in order for it to mend correctly." My hand was officially numb. He must've given me a pain killer. Funny, but I still feel the pain!! I could feel my eyebrow twitch in annoyance.  
"X-rays! X-rays would've been nice here!" He turned towards me when he reached the door.  
"I need some supplies for your cast. I'll be right back. Shigure, will you follow me outside, please?" Shigure smiled at me and began to follow Hatori, pausing beside my seat on the stool.  
"Now you just make yourself comfortable Dusty and don't go anywhere! I'll be right back." I mumbled a few more choice words as Shigure closed the door behind him and Hatori. I sighed and clicked my heels against the metal framework of the stool. Thinking of Shigure, I cringed. Helping a girl with a fractured, no, I take that back -BROKEN wrist, was one thing. But taking me to his home?! I was more than freaked out. I'll admit, the guy had a nice pad but i'm not that kind of girl; one to go home with the guy the first day. It was then that I found out that the stool was indeed a swivel stool. What's a girl to do in a room alone with a swivel stool and medication in her system? Spin, of course! Immature, yes, but man, it was fun. My solo party was ruined as a soft cough echoed throughout the room and spun around to meet Shigure's boyish good looks. Hatori crouched before me and within five minutes, my left wrist was in a cast and starting the healing process. Hatori motioned for me to wait outside while he and Shigure had another 'talk'. I obeyed, partially because the pain had returned to my wrist and I didn't want either of them to see me wince in pain like a baby. I think they half expected me to wander throughout the house on my own, but I learned from harsh experiences that wandering only led to chaos.  
It had been the first night at Henry's and I had taken it upon myself to see just what this guy was into. You know, if he had any taboo secrets that I could later use against him at the wedding. I was awful, I know. Isn't it spectacular? Anyway, I had made it all the way to the back bedroom and opened the door to find my mom hastily covering herself and Henry. I had seen enough. I simply closed the door and did my best to block out that memory from brain for the rest of my life. I sometimes wonder if therapy would have been easier. Low murmurs were heard behind the thin door and I rested my ear upon it to hear better.  
"Absolutely not."  
"Just until she finds her friends."  
"No. What if she finds out, Shigure? Did you ever stop and think about that? No, you didn't. You don't know how to think with your brain."  
"I resent that. No doubt that she is quite attractive.....but that's beside the point! She's alone, she's scared, she's.."  
"The perfect reason for you to sharpen your flirtation skills."  
"I am SO much more than the excessive pervert you make me out to be."  
  
"..."  
"One week."  
"No. He will be against it." I would've tried harder to figure out the conversation, even though I pretty much got the jist of it, but my attention was brought to a young girl carrying, and conversing of all things, with a rat.  
"Sorry! I really didn't mean it.. I-" My eyebrow rose a little, trying to comprehend just why the hell this girl was talking to a rat. She smiled at me and continued her walk down the hallway. I pushed at the door, not really caring what I walked in on. I had seen it all by now. Or so I thought.  
"Dusty! It has been decided that you will stay in MY home until we can locate your friends." He directed the 'MY' at Hatori who seemed to be glaring at me.  
"That's really sweet and all but all I really want to do is go home." I was so lost. My family was an ocean, or a few countries/continents - depending on which side of the globe you looked at- away from me. My friends were obviously NOT going to find me anytime soon, which left me in strange house WITHOUT American toilets and with an incoherently hot man that would lead me into unfamiliar temptation that I was too young to be thinking about in the first place! My mind was screaming to just run. Run and find some cheesy American tourist and beg for them to adopt me until I could find the idiots I called friends that would have to put a leash on me from now on, JUST so I won't wander off into adult novelty stores. The tears came for the first time in a few years. I was scared, unprotected.  
"Dusty?" Shigure walked towards me but I didn't want him to see me crying. Another pet peeve. It makes me look weak if I cry in front of a man. And I didn't want to be weak; not now.  
"I didn't mean to walk away from them! I just want to go home! Is that so much to ask?!" Usually, i'm clumsy in front of family and friends, but this time I tripped in front of an audience. I distinctly remember seeing that cursed stool in front of me and telling my brain to watch out as I passed Shigure and Hatori, but I hit it. And stumbled. And Shigure, being the perfect gentleman, or so I thought, moved to the side to let me fall. But he didn't move fast enough, and I could feel the rough fabric of his suit scratch my face as I wrapped my arms around his waist to catch myself. Now, I know I failed Physics...twice...but I paid enough attention to know that unless something stops you from falling, you're gonna make impact with Mother Nature's fist. And I THOUGHT I had grabbed something to stop my fall. But I hit the ground with a hard thud and small yelp from underneath me. Wait, a yelp? Since when did grown men yelp? I hadn't even noticed the cloud of smoke that had formed and before I knew it, I was peering into the eyes of a dog where Shigure had once stood. My mouth - agape. My eyes - as wide as saucers.  
"As I said before, you can stay here until we find your friends." I sniffled once, unable to compute what was going on. My chest was heaving from an oncoming asthma attack. The tears had yet to dry on my face and I sniffled again. The dog in front of me shyly licked away a stray tear. Normally, I would find this cute, funny even. But for some odd reason, and I emphasize the sarcasim here, I just couldn't find a man turning into a dog hilarious. Maybe I just have a rotten sense of humor. My cast was broken and I forced my hurt hand to my mouth to muffle any screams that might try to pop out. I shook my head. This could not be happening. Especially to ME! Hadn't enough happened to me today?! Couldn't I have gone one full day without chivalrous men turning into mutts? The cloud of smoke reappeared and Shigure once again stood before me. Only this time, he was...how do I put this?.....leaving nothing to the imagination. Nude. Naked. In the buff. In the skin the good Lord put him in. Au natural.  
I'm no saint. I have seen naked men before. I mean, we DO get the Abercrombie catalog in the mail. But this was different. First off, the Abercrombie guys weren't canines about three seconds before. Second, well there is no second. I was just stunned that a naked guy had just been panting and wagging a tail! A tail! Humans were supposed to have shed those a LONG time ago!! So, like any female sitting on all fours before a very well endowed specimen of the male species in the nude, I stood, stared, and then fainted. I had managed to hear the last bits of a conversation before I blacked out.  
" 'Let's have her stay' he says. "  
"Is she okay?"  
"What do you think Shigure? She just saw your transformation AND you naked!"  
"Well the last part alone would be enough to make any girl faint....but will she be okay."  
"Concussion. And i'll have to redo her cast."  
"I'll find her a room!"  
"Shigure!....sigh....I hate doing casts..." And then I totally blacked out. I wouldn't wake up until a good day later.  
  
"YOU LOST HER?!" Becky screamed at the top of her lungs. It was amazing that the rest of the hotel didn't kick her out. Kimmi wrapped a nervous finger around a crimson curl and sat herself on the edge of the bed.  
"She was right behind me and then....she wasn't." Becky flung her arms around in the air.  
"And how long exactly did it take you to figure out that she wasn't there?"  
"Let's see....I saw her get behind after the really weird street, then I followed you into the subway station, then we got dinner..."  
"Nevermind..." Frankie leaned onto the patio door for balance. Her ebony hair fell over her eyes and shadowed her face.  
"We should go look for her."  
"She won't be there."  
"Why not?"  
"I know Dusty and Dusty doesn't know how to stay put. Let's call the authorities and hope that someone has seen her." Frankie quirked an eyebrow.  
"Really?"  
"Really, really."  
  
Shigure flipped through the yellowed pages of his family history. He had seen Dusty before and he thought he knew where. He was now dressed in his writer's kimono and clicking a pen next to his ear. He couldn't say that the clicking relaxed him, it just gave him a speed to work at. He flipped a few more pages before jumping up in excitement. Bingo!  
  
I opened my eyes, barely able to focus on my surroundings. I was in a bed, not a comfortable bed, but a bed nonetheless. And I was dressed in something completely different then I had started off with. I left the hotel in a t-shirt that sported some smartass, kinky comment and a pair of jeans that had more holes than my own body. My hair was also down. This was particularly unusual because I never wore my hair down. I had layered it once when Jennifer Aniston's hairstyle was all the rage thanks to her 'Friends' debut. I had grown out of it and decided it was best if I just kept the auburn mess up in a tangled bun. My own mother hasn't even seen me without my infamous 'buns of self conciousness'. Speaking of conciousness...  
"Well good afternoon." I rubbed at my eyes and sat up. Bed move. My head instantly began to throb and I pressed a casted palm to my tawny head. It felt like I had had a ton of alcohol and was run over in the same night, only to survive the ordeal. THAT'S how much pain I was in. I squinted from the ungodly amount of sunlight that poured in and stared at Hatori, who sat across from me on the floor. He turned his head to the side and it was only then that I realized I had almost fallen out of the loose peach kimono that had been placed upon me. 'The twins', as I like to call them, weren't used to such....freedom. Hatori stood and walked over to me, his looming figure blocking out the light. "I'm sorry." He reached down towards me and without thinking, I screamed and hid underneath the thin blanket.  
"Hatori!Wait!!" I heard a small rustle but I didn't know if it was Shigure who tackled Hatori or vice versa. The two men were so busy arguing that neither noticed the old book that had fallen at the end of my mat. But I did. I poked my head out from underneath the blanket and graced the pages with my finger until it rested upon a page that had been dogeared. Dogeared? I couldn't help but do a mental recap of what happened earlier. I would definetly need therapy after all this. I gasped as the I unfolded the page. There before me, underneath the bold word 'ORIGIN OF THE SOHMA CURSE' was a picture of a silver eyed brunette. A picture of...me.  
"Not yet!"  
"What do you know!"  
"I have proof that she could be useful!!"  
"Your proof is based on hormones!"  
"I...I look just like her!!" Both men paused and peered over at me.  
  
Once again, a bit OOC. But oh well. oh and FYI: For all those who have been reading 'A Life Full Of Saturdays', i'll be updating ASAP. Sorry for taking so long! 


	3. A Cajun On The Edge

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
Easily Amused: A Cajun On The Edge  
  
I had been carrying the book to my chest the entire for two reasons. One : I particulary interested in the fact the a LaFayette was in a Japanese family's book. Two: it was the only the thing keeping up this damn kimono!! It wasn't that I hadn't worn one before because my father brought one back from his travels to the country, but I honestly think this particular kimono was placed on me for the pure entertainment, whether it be perverted intentions or not, of me pulling at the shoulders every five seconds. It could be said that I felt like a piece of meat in this household. However, it was only person whose eyes I constantly felt upon me. Now what he thought as he stared at me, I don't even want to know. I think I could live the rest of my life at ease without knowing what goes on through Shigure's head. But as I sit across from him now, watching him read is newspaper, I can't help but wonder what lies behind that smile.  
"I've been thinking....." No movement behind the paper. "About your offer of staying here..." Well that obviously grabbed his attention for he slowly lowered the paper and quirked an inquiring eyebrow at me.  
"Oh?" I rested my head on my palm. I can't say I was tired. Maybe incredibly interested. In the time I had spent in the Sohma household, I had come to learn three things : Hatori despised me for some unknown reason that I would figure out later, I could hug a single male in this house because they would turn into an animal and then come back naked, which is something I would like to keep away from as long as possible, and Shigure thought I was attractive. The feelings were mutual. The man knew just what to do to make a girl's heart melt. But why did he think of me as attractive? That was something I wasn't able to figure out. I was practically the Steve Urkle of the female species and he, like the Johnny Depp.  
"Yeah....I mean, don't you think it's odd that i'm in this book? And under the origin of your curse for that matter? I don't know, but maybe if it was my ancestor who started the curse, maybe I can end it.."  
"You'd do that for the Sohma family?" I stared down at the book, memorizing every line of the portrait of myself. The resemblence was uncanny almost to the point where it would freak a sane woman out. But I asure all of you : I am far from sane. I just saw a man turn into a dog for God's sake.  
"Well....yeah, sure I guess. What harm can be done? I'm obviously not going anywhere anytime soon. Besides, you have shown me nothing but hospitality." I stood up from the table and fidgeted with my kimono so that I would as little cleavage as possible. Even being in the same room with Shigure was making me think that an amateur video of....stop that Dusty!! I hastily moved across the dining room to go back to my own reserved bedroom, pausing at the doorway when a very interesting thought popped into my head. "Shigure....who undressed me and put me into this thing?"  
"Why Dusty, it was me, of course." I cringed, having to physically stop myself from going into a pure act of rage. I gritted my teeth and turned back towards the pervert I chose to help out. His smirk quickly disappeared as he retreated back to his newspaper. "It was only fair." More than anything at this point, I wanted to strangle the man. So immature! I pulled the kimono back over my shoulder, which had chosen that moment to fall down, and stomped back to my room. I made sure he heard every step and every slide of a door.  
  
I'm one of those people who likes to sing, even at the cost of everyone's hearing. I'm horrible and I know it, which makes the act so much more fun. Nothing else can bring a tear of joy to my eyes then seeing a choir girl cringe at my rendition of Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like A Woman". I was never partial to country or pop but I would automatically make it my favorite genre at the chance to see those snooty girls plug their ears from my flat low notes and sharp high notes. I didn't hate the girls, I just hated how they thought they were better than us outcasts because we couldn't get out of class for some stupid charity thingy or because we couldn't hit that one octave. I didn't really care if they got out of second period for a concert. It wouldn't take much for me to skip up to the teacher and ask to use the bathroom and return thirty minutes later at the end of period. What did I do for those thirty minutes? I basically roamed the halls and made goofy faces at my friends in the door's windows. Oh yeah! I'm SO interesting, aren't I?  
This day wasn't any different except that the song actually meant something to me and I wasn't using my voice for the cruelty to choir girls. My mother was one of those soccer moms who listened to Mandy Moore on her way to the school to pick me up or on the way to Grandma's to pick up Meredith. So when one of us were upset, she's use the pop singer as a soothing way to calm us. I know what you're thinking, most moms use a classic song or something. Well, this is my mom. She's an artist so therefore she has different views. Anyway, this was one of those times. I wasn't sad, just lonely. For once in my life, my mother wasn't there to rock me in her arms and pat my hair, telling me everything would be okay. So I began my comfort song in hopes that maybe I could just pretend for a moment that she was there with me.  
"There's a song that's inside of my soul, It's the one i've tried to write over and over again, I'm awake in the infinite cold, But you sing to me over and over again." I wrapped my long auburn hair up into a loose bun, not even noticing the few tendrils that hung over my neck. I then proceeded to uncover my shoulder from the kimono and examine the peeling skin as a result in touring Japan. If I had been looking at myself, I would have to honestly say I wasn't bad looking in that position. I sat down in front of the window, letting the soft rays warm me up. Ah, this was the life, except for the peeling shoulder skin. "So I lay my head back down, And I lift my hands and pray, to be only yours, I know now, you're my only hope." A soft rustle startled me from peaceful session of skin picking and my silver orbs darted to the now open door. I poked my head out just in time to see another door slide closed. I tiptoed down the hallway only to be interrupted by the chirping of a small bird. I didn't know they had any pets here. I instantly forgot of my spy and wandered in the opposite direction before coming upon the main house. I had never ventured this far away from Shigure before. In front of me was a room, quite like my own, and it sat a boy. Well he was frail enough to be called a boy. He could have very well been older. I stared for only a moment before I was swung from the doorway and slammed silently against the wall with a hot palm covering my mouth to silence any screams I might have. I let the shock wear off and finally notice that it was Shigure who had just attacked me! He seemed to be listening for something before peeking inside the room and sighing in relief.  
I was growing tired of his little game by the second. My kimono was sliding off my shoulder by the second and there was NO way he was going to cop a peek at me like this. I bit his hand and opened my mouth to say something only to have it covered it again. I couldn't be that loud could I? I lightly pushed away from the room, careful of any loud noises. Apparently, the guy I spied on must've been a light sleeper and couldn't take being woken up by a nosey American very well. When we were finally out of hearing distance from the weird guy, I shoved Shigure's hand off my mouth.  
"Just who the hell do you think you are bus-"  
"Don't ever do that again." My features softened as I witnessed a hint of worry his dark eyes. This man was growing on me like a bad foot fungus.  
"Okay...I won't." Liar. Of course I would. This was just too intriguing to pass by. I felt like I was in a really good Disney movie and this was either the Hunchback or that rose that they kept hidden. Now, I know my Disney movies, and finding out the mystery always leads you to some kind of prize. Either love or...well, love. It was a win-win situation, right? Shigure had already left the room I was standing in, which I guessed was a living room. Hey, it was equipped with a couch and that counts as a living room in my book. I plopped down on the couch, dozing off into a light sleep. I told you before, I can sleep anywhere at anytime. A gift. Truly.  
I was rudely awakened by the smell of cigarette smoke. Normally this wouldn't bother me but I was without my allergy medicine, and low and behold, I found myself sneezing. Yes, of all things, i'm allergic to cigarette smoke.  
"ATOOT! ATOOT!" I hated my damn sneeze. I sounded like a mouse having an asthma attack. I searched the room for the origin of the smoke but to no avail. I climbed from the couch and followed the scent. I would damned if i'd die in this house because of something like a cigarette. My nose did a quick twitch like that chick from Bewitched as I surveyed the halls and every room in my path for the nicotine craver. It was then that I bumped into something, or someone rather. He had the brightest reddish hair I had ever laid eyes upon and was rather cute.  
"Watch where you're goin'." His hands were stuffed into his pockets and I found myself irritated with him immediatly. Who couldn't see my half naked form coming from mile away? "Stupid American." I SO take back the cute comment. I opened my mouth to protest, to perhaps show him I wasn't entirely stupid, when I spotted a thick cloud of cancer smoke. I glared into the room to hear the continuous typing and prayed that I had not stumbled upon Hatori. Maybe it was intentional. Maybe it was intentional. Maybe he WANTED my lungs to collapse into a pile of pink ash. Thankfully, it was just Shigure. He had pulled a table up behind him and set a cup, possibly liquor, for I heard all great writers were alcoholics at one time. I carefully pulled myself atop the table and cleared my throat with much difficulty. He turned around so quickly that it had almost knocked me off the sturdy piece of wood. He looked me up and down, a bit startled by my presence and the death glare I was sending upon him. But it wasn't exactly him I was glaring at. It was the nicotine hanging from his bottom lip. Most girls would use this opportunity to flirt and snatch the the cigarette from his lips. But most girls are not allergic to cigarette smoke.  
"Is there something wrong Dusty?" I knew that perhaps my cleavage pouring from my kimono wasn't helping my situat-  
"ATOOT! ATOOT! ATOOT!" He jumped back at my explosion of sneezes and I quickly yanked the cigarette from his mouth and ground it underneath my bare foot. I would feel the pain later, for sure.  
"Hey! You didn't have to put it out!"  
"Would you rather me die from sneezing?"  
"A person can't die from sneezing!" There was some truth to that, I suppose. But I haven't read any tabloids lately so there was always that possiblity.  
"Not true! Don't you know why people close their eyes when they sneeze? So their eyeballs won't pop out."  
"That's ridiculous." Ridiculous? Sure. But it makes sense.  
"Fine.....would you rather have my lungs collapse on me?"  
"Point taken." I swear, some people...  
"Um Dusty? Perhaps you would to wear something....a little more comfortable?" I follwed his gaze to my chest. Those things had such a mind of their own!! Uncontrollable! I nodded nervously.  
"I know of a place. You can wear one of Tohru's uniforms until you find something that suits you better!" I could help but wonder why he was smiling so broadly.  
  
Japanese school uniforms were NOT formed for tall American girls with a D-cup. I could feel my hands restlessly tug at the hem of the shorter than life skirt every second or so. The shirt covered enough but was extremely tight around my chest. Curse my genes, curse them! Judging by Shigure's smirk, however, one would think that the uniform was a gift from heaven. He obviously thought it was. I tugged once more at the hem following his suit clad body out of the front door.  
  
We had stopped in front of a store branding the name 'Ayame'. I was still tugging at the skirt as Shigure held the door open for my entrance. We were greeted by a bubbly brunette and lead into the back room where a silver haired man tinkered with a wedding dress....that...he was ....wearing. I can handle this! I've seen 'Too Wong Fu' millions of times. What made this guy different from Patrick Swayze in a dress. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He snapped from his work and ran over to Shigure and I.  
  
"Shigure!!" So he was close to Shigure. No big deal. "Oh! Who is this? You haven't replaced me, have you?"  
"No, Ayame. You're always number one on my list." Really...close. My heart plummeted about six hundred feet. Wow, I REALLY knew how to pick em. I suddenly felt sick. I didn't even realize that Shigure had introduced me and I was now being pulled towards a rack of clothing. I took this as a signal to start my shopping spree. I eagerly dived in. Hey, i've been deprived of malls for quite some time. I dug through the numerous maid and nurse costumes before suddenly catching the sound of a familiar voice. Was that...Nat King Cole?  
"She was under the origin chapter.."  
"Oh? You don't say...?" I snapped a couple of fingers to shush them in hopes of finding my long lost King. Ayame peered over my shoulder. "Are you looking...for something."  
"I know this song! 'L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very very extraordinay, E is even more than anyone that you adore can..." Ayame was quickly in front of me, gleaming with a sense of pride. Together, we sang the final verse. "Love is all that I can give to you, Love is more than just a game for two, Two in love can make, Take my heart but please don't break it, Love was made for me and you!!!"  
"That one was for you Shigure!", Ayame said with a wink. There was that sick feeling again. I managed to find a couple pairs of decent jeans and a few shirts. Ayame's assisstant was more than thrilled to loan me a pair flip flops to wear outside. Usually, new outfits make my day, but this time, I felt sick to the very bone. Was my knight in a business suit....gay? We walked side by side in silence for a few moments before Shigure rested his arms on the back of his head.  
"I'm hungry. What do you say to some takoyaki?" I glanced up at him. Food sounded nice but if it was anything like sushi, he was in for quite a show of regurgitation.  
"Takoyaki? What's that?"  
"A snack made from octopus." My stomach gurgled before the familiar feeling rose up to my throat. I ran for the nearest bush and well....you get the picture. Shigure was close behind me, not sure if he wanted to come any closer.  
"Dusty? Was it something I said?"  
  
This is getting somewhere. Next chapter will contain some waff. And Dusty will forgive Hatori's death attempts. 


	4. Tricky Little Buggers

Mmmmm.....tea. Now I know why Shigure drinks the stuff....Oh yes!! Thank you all for reviewing! It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
Easily Amused : Tricky Little Buggers  
  
I don't exactly know how I made it back to the Sohma household in one piece and with my stomach still intact, but I managed. And even now, laying on the thinnest mat in the world, I can't help but hear my stomach talk in demon tounges and punish myself for letting myself fall for such a guy. Whoa, where'd that come from? I've only been concious in this house for 48 hours, minus the day I blacked out from seeing the man naked. Or perhaps it was from him turing into a dog. I still haven't been able to figure that one out. I keep reminding myself it's just a physical attraction and that nothing can come from it. The guy is way too old for me. Right? I mean, i'm just 18. Even if it IS legal now, I can't! I could never hug him, for fear that he would be wagging a tail instead of returning the gesture. And intimacy.....I shouldn't even be THINKING about that stuff!!! Get a grip Dusty!  
I roll over from my romantic interrogation to find a cup of steaming tea in front of my face. I wrinkled my nose and pushed it away from my nose. My stomach was already flipping backwards from the sight of it. My nurse wasn't going to take no for answer. Once again, the cup was pushed in front of me. Couldn't this person take a hint. I jumped up from my mat, my arms still curled around my equally angry torso.  
"Don't you understand anything?! I don't want -" I stopped myself from going any furthur. I had anticipated Shigure kneeling in front of me, but I was met with a pair of the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen before in my life. They were of a violet nature. Don't get me wrong, i've seen what contacts can do. A guy came into the hospital where Henry works once because he had a red one lodged in his eye. So he was stuck with one brown eye and one green cat eye. But these were real. Like Elizabeth Taylor real.  
  
"It's good for nausea." It was a guy?! My memory suddenly registered the sickly creature I had seen earlier. They were almost identical except that this guy didn't look like he belonged attached to some test tubes. I accepted the cup and sipped a bit of the hot liquid. It burned all the way down but it tasted quite good. I thought I could taste some honey but my tastebuds weren't in the best functioning order right now.  
"Thank you."  
"You're the American Shigure brought home, is that right?" He was serious. Kind but serious. Didn't this guy ever laugh?  
"Gee, you make me sound like a cheap hooker." His eyes were about the size of golfballs. Two points! He wasn't expecting something like that to pop out of my mouth.  
"I didn't mean.....It came out.....What I meant to say..." I couldn't help but give a soft giggle.  
"Chill. I was just messin' with ya. Thanks for the tea.....?" I strained the last question in hopes he would catch the hint and drop his name.  
"Sohma Yuki." This again......  
"Yuki's your first name, right?" He smiled and nodded. I drank from the cup again as he pulled his knees up to his chest. "I get so confused in this country."  
"Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it." I quirked an eyebrow at him.  
"You make it sound like i'm here to stay."  
"Aren't you?" My cheeks reddened for about the twentieth time this week. I struggled to find a phrase that would give the guy solace yet tell him the truth. I was going to go back home sooner or later. "So what's America like?"  
"Don't know. I've only been to parts of it. Mostly Louisiana, Texas, New York, and California. Oh! Once I went to Florida."  
"To see Disney World?" My expression fell. No, not exactly. My great aunt Selma had passed away. I didn't know much about her except that she wore a mumu, had about ten cats, and read romance novels in her spare time. How did I know all this? Well she had mumus in her closet, cats everywhere, and romance novels littering her shelves when we went to pack up her belongings. Doesn't take Sherlock to figure that one out, kids. I refused to tell Yuki that though.  
"Um, something along those lines." It was close to the truth. Aunt Selma's mumus were about as big as the giant golfball at the famous amusement park. You think I joke? Take a look at those things and then tell me if i'm mean or that i'm a liar. The tea had worked its way into my system by then and healing my tired stomach with its sweet warmth. How did I get sick in the first place? I stood up and stretched, arching my back ever so slightly to show a bit of bellybutton. Call it a practical flirting technique. Yuki had stood up along with me, probably to avoid another confrontation with the albino skin I liked to call a stomach. Me and the sun just didn't get along in that area. About then, a figure came crashing through my sliding door, ruining any chances of NOT sleeping under the stars. It was the rude redhead from earlier. For a second, I thought he was coming after me. But no, he was aiming for Yuki, and just so happened to push me over on my rear in the process. This guy was working my final nerve. He took a few swings at the polite teenager, Yuki dodging them in smooth motions. I gawked at my torn door, the only thing keeping noisy insects out of the room. That was the last straw.  
"That's IT!!" Both boys stared at me, shocked that I was yelling at the top of my lungs. "Just WHAT exactly gives you the right to just bust through these things?! What if I had been dressing or something?! Did you ever think about that?! NO! No you didn't!!! What is your problem anyway?! You are so friggin hotheaded and I don't even KNOW you!!! GEEZ!"  
"Ahem." All attention darted to Shigure hanging in the doorway. I could've done without his presence for the time being.  
"Yuki. Kyou. Take it outside, would you?" The two nodded and hastily walked out of the room I occupied.  
"Baka neko!"  
"Oh shut up!! I didn't know it was HER room!" Shigure shook his head and began to follow him. I stood in complete awe, unable to comprehend his form. I now know why I had become sick. How could something that cute and charming be GAY?!  
  
I shuffled underneath the blanket, unable to sleep without the comfort of the smell of Gumbo wafting through my room for Sunday dinner. I threw the thing off of me and stumbled towards the newly aquired window I had obtained from Kyou's little outburst. I spotted a figure sitting a few yards away and squinted to put a face with the body. I could tell that there was a shiver every now and then, which I could understand considering I was beginning to shiver from the chilly Japanese air as well. At this point, I didn't care who the person was; they were cold and I had an extra blanket in the corner. I slipped on the flip flops Ayame's assisstant had offered me and scampered over the dewy grass, careful of slipping. I had made the mistake of wearing flip flops in a grocery store after they had just mopped and well....let's just say I couldn't feel my backside for a good week. Tile flooring is oh so rough on the butt. I finally got to my goal only to find out that the chilled body belonged to Shigure himself. Stupid man. Maybe coming out here was a mistake. Not the romantic comedies on Valentine's Day kind of mistake. I mean getting attached to a Corleone and then buying oranges in the street type of mistake. The kind of mistake you'll ultimately regret. I placed the blanket over his shoulder, stopping the shivering at that moment and copping a squat beside him. He smirked that boyish smile at me that melted every hard exterior I had ever put up. How could he be gay? He's made so many perverted comments towards me....and I could settle with bisexual. Tell me you're bisexual and at least put my mind at ease that you're still half interested. Then I could have a fifty percent chance at least.  
"Aren't you cold?" That's right. Be cool about this, Dusty. No pun intended. He shrugged and gazed up at the stars. This would be the perfect moment if I hadn't been questioning his sexuality. I mean, that would REALLY set the mood. 'Hey, i'm finding myself growing a crush on you even though i'm only going to be in Japan until I solve this thing for you and probably way too young for your tastes. But my heart aches when you smile at me and you give me chills when you touch me. I don't care about a stupid curse and I don't care about any other secrets. Now, are you gay?' What a way to win a guy over.  
"We'll begin your search for your friends and your hotel in the morning." His statement was so bland that it made me want to gag. Where'd he get the idea that I wanted to leave anytime soon? Where'd I get the idea that I didn't? My silver irises widened in surprise and I moved to find a seat in front of him, not even realizing that my hands had somehow found his knees. Tricky little buggers...  
"Hey! What makes you think that i'm so eager to quit this little family mystery of yours?" His eyes were downcast, which really bugged me. Up until now, he could look me straight into my eye without faltering. But now, he seemed like a shy teenager. Even i've grown out of that.  
"I just figured that you missed your family and boyfriend very much, is all." Whoa. Back the truck up! Family, perhaps. But boyfriend. I hadn't had a boyfriend since....  
He uncovered a strip of those pictures you get in carnival booths showing me with a green haired boy of my age. He had the softest blue eyes and a grin the size of Texas. I was maybe a sophmore when the pictures had been snapped. My hair was up in a high ponytail with a few locks framing the sides of my face. I reminded myself of Alvin's love interest from Alvin and the Chipmunks, with the exception of the teeth and the pink outfit. Besides those two things, I was a dead ringer. The first snapshot showed the guy and myself picking each other's noses. The second was of him groping me. The third, fourth, and fifth were of a friendly hug, a peck on the lips, and of a tight embrace around my shoulders. It was all coming back in a painful rush. I could even remember me messing up his perfectly spiked jade hair.  
"Aubrey..." My eyes flooded over with the love we used to share. Yeah, USED. If there was anything more tragic than the death of Romeo and Juliet or the breakup of Sonny and Carly Corinthos - this would be it. He was a guitar player for a local band and highly rebellious. The opposite of what I was at 16. If anything, I strived to get all A's and make the Red Apple Sale at JcPenny's. That's right folks, this outcast wasn't always considered weird. I hated the fact my father was never around and I hated the fact that I was like this just to prove that I could achieve more than he could. Inside, I wanted the black nailpolish and the piercings and the bohemian peasant shirts. But outside, I was all Abercrombie and lip gloss. Then I met Aubrey. He made fun of me on the first day of school and I punched him. Not exactly love at first sight. We were constantly arguing until I saw him at the carnival. Frankie and Becky had chosen a ride that my stomach couldn't handle and I was walking aimlessly around the fairgrounds in hopes that I would meet my Johnny Depp look alike. And there popped Aubrey. I could settle for him instead. To make a long story short, I fell hopelessly and helplessly in love that night with Aubrey.  
"Tohru found it in your pocket while she was doing laudry. As I was saying, we can begin the search in the morning." I let a single tear fall before immediately drying any signs of my saddened nature.  
"It wasn't supposed to end like that."  
"Huh?"  
"Aubrey. He made me so happy. He taught me to laugh at my insecurities. Easier said than done, right?"  
"Made? As in past-tense." I nodded before continuing.  
"He was so perfect in my eyes. I'd call him beautiful and then he'd grab my compact mirror and hold it in front of me and say 'No, THAT'S beautiful.' We were so different but so much alike. I can honestly say I loved him. And then he got his driver's license. Told me he was going to take me away....take me to a far away place...like Japan. It was raining,and I warned him that it wasn't drivable weather. But he had band practice. That damn band was so important to him. Anyway, he got in a car wreck on his way home from band practice. Doctor's said there wasn't a hope in the world that could've saved him." The tears fell freely and I had to stop myself from squeezing Shigure's knees too hard. "It wasn't supposed to end like that. We were supposed to get married and have a family after his second album and after I released my first novel." Shigure placed his hands over my own without me noticing.  
"How did you cope with something like that?"  
"I couldn't for awhile. I missed everything about him. His cologne, his smile, his touch, his voice. I didn't even write that much afterwards. But I got back into the jist of things a year later. I became boy crazy again and started writing more. I didn't even know I carried his picture around anymore. Must be habit."  
"I'm sorry." His head had found its way to my own and shyness set in very thickly.  
"How could you have known?"  
"Could you ever replace him?" I gave no thought to the words he had spoken. I was quite naive at the moment.  
"More than likely. He wouldn't have wanted me to mourn all my life." He wouldn't have....I had been using his picture as a reminder of what I once I had. No wonder I was single. I wouldn't let myself love until I got another Aubrey. But there wasn't another Aubrey. I snatched the picture from Shigure's hands and stared at it for a moment. I ripped one square from the strip for my scrap book at home and then ripped the remainder into tiny bits, before letting them fly away with the night breeze.  
"What'd you do that for?" I shrugged, not exactly knowing myself. I needed to know of my happiness I had which is why I ripped off the one of us picking each other's noses. I kneeled before him once more, my hands cupping around his own.  
"Dunno. But no more talk of me going back just yet,' kay? I mean, you're not all THAT bad, except that you saw me naked and caused me to have a concussion. But besides all that you're really a dec-" Before I could go on, I was stopped mid-breath by a sweet kiss that I would have never guessed to take place. I was lost in his touch. That kiss, wow. It was gentle and so needing, and so inviting. Not to mention surprising. I mean, I was questioning whether he even LIKED girls a few minutes before. He suddenly pulled away, breathing heavily. Who wouldn't? After a kiss like that! I just sat there like a dork hoping something like this would happen soon....VERY soon. He rubbed the apple of my cheek and glanced down at me. His eyes were hurt, even remorseful. Don't tell me he regretted that?! I sure as hell didn't!  
"Please forgive me." With that said, he stood and rushed away from a now dazed Dusty. Forgive? No! No forgiveness!! I don't wanna forgive a kiss like that!! My eyes wandered towards an opened door to find Hatori walking towards me. Great. Now the doctor of death was going to punish me even more than before by breaking my entire arm this time.  
"Be careful."  
"Huh?" He sighed and lowered his head to my eye level.  
"I know you will not be leaving any time soon now. You're too stubborn. But don't go falling in love with Shigure. It will only lead to heartache." Ouch. Dumped on twice in the same night!  
"You speak from experience or something like that?"  
"Something like that." He turned to leave but I wasn't going to let him leave without a guilt trip.  
"Hatori?" He paused. "I don't know who she was but i'm sure she was great. I hope someday someone else will make you just as happy. Thank you." It all made sense now. Hatori wasn't a bad guy. He was protecting me from something, I just didn't know what - yet. His shadow was already morphing with the darkness of the house. I sat back on a rock and let my eyes soar to the sky. I was pretty tired by now. But something was telling me to stay. You should always listen to your gut, no matter how big it is. My father always told me that. It didn't make a whole lot of sense but neither did my dad. And then there it was, right in front of me, Kyou and Tohru on the roof. She said something before squeezing his hand (which the little jerk yanked away) and walking away. I watched him carefully. He reached out towards the young girl, like he wanted to tell her something. Uh-huuuuhh. It was all making sense now.  
I drifted off peacefully that night to the nonstop clicks of Shigure's typing. It didn't bother me. Just knowing he was somewhere near, (actually he was across the hall) was comforting enough. I curled up in the blanket I had offered Shigure earlier, feeling like a giddy school girl once again. And to tell you the truth, it felt good. I wasn't overly perky to the point of running to the nearest female and spurting my little night, but enough to go to sleep with a smile. I could even hear a light snore being emitted from my agitated nose. I didn't know I snored....  
It was the middle of the night when I heard it. It wasn't terribly loud, but enough for my ears to hear. It sounded like a fight and I wondered if Kyou and Yuki had gotten into again. But the light slaps were followed by even lighter mutterings, which I figured would be louder and clearer if I could get closer. I snapped from my bed, careful of my cast, and poked my head out of my makeshift window. The sounds came from the mainhouse....I think. I looked over at Shigure's little office before peering back to the main house once more. A thin figure walked out of the house, holding his head tightly. Was that....?  
"...Yuki...?" My voice was a hushed whisper yet it was enough to catch the writer's ear.  
"Go back to sleep, Dusty..." I glanced over my shoulder to see that the computer screen was turned off and his chair was faced away from me. He was good, but not quite good enough. I shuffled my foot around in the blanket, creating the illusion that I was just shifting around in my bed. And then I moaned once before throwing in a 'Shigure' for good effect. I could hear his weight shift in the chair and knew that would shut him up. Little did I know that he was trickier than I led myself to believe. My eyes widened in horror as he lifted a cigarette high up into the air. Where in the blue hell did that thing come from?!  
"ATOOT! ATOOT! ATOOT!" I tried to cover my mouth in time to muffle the sorry excuse of a sneeze but failed miserably. The squeak of a chair turning brought my attention elsewhere. His eyes were closed but he wasn't even close to falling alseep. One leg was draped over the arm of the chair and his hands rested on his stomach.  
"Dusty..."  
"I know. Sleep. Bed. Getting to it. Don't you have better things to do than stalk me?" I turned my back to him and adjusted the blanket so that it fel lto my waist. This way, I wouldn't get too cold or hot. Or maybe I was trying to entice him. I hate being truthful.  
"It isn't.....nevermind. Dusty?" I lifted my unbroken arm into the air to signal him. Let's just say I greeted him with a very unfriendly air gesture. The kind of gesture you use in six o'clock traffic. Bingo.  
"I'm trying to sleep." I didn't mean to be so grouchy about it. But when you kiss someone....okay when you kiss ME like that and then ask me to forgive you, I can only be one thing....alright TWO things: curious and REALLY pissed off. And right now, curious George was far, far, FAR away from my brain.  
  
Next Chapter: Dusty tries to play Cupid and runs into complications. She also talks to her mom. Things are revealed. 


	5. A Toast To Everyone's Prince

Hmmm.....self insertion? Heaven's no! I'm way meaner than Dusty. Haven't been in love either. Anyway! Thanks for the reviews and you'll have to forgive me for neglecting my other characters. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused: A Toast To Everyone's Prince**  
  
I awoke with a huge Charlie Horse and a hungry stomach. It was almost too early to tell if anyone was even awake and I thought that maybe if I was quiet enough, I could find a morning snack in the refrigerator that would prove to be more tasteful than octopus. My hair was once again falling over my shoulders and I cursed at my stupid locks for coming undone from their clips. I poked my shaggy head out into the hallway, noticing Shigure was sprawled out in his chair and sleeping like a spoiled baby. I rolled my eyes, wondering why I was so nice, and placed my bedroom blanket over him. Now I felt better about myself.  
I silently tiptoed into the kitchen, attacking the ice box when it came into view. Gluttony is a big sin. A BIG sin. But I have every right in the world. I've eaten maybe twice in my entire three days of being here. I would rather be a plump turkey than a starving dog. Wait, I take that back. We eat turkeys. I shuffled through what I guessed to be noodles and emptied them into my mouth. That would satisfy me for now. I poured myself a glass of water and turned to meet the gorgeous violet eyes from yesterday. Had he seen me make a pig of myself? A smile teased at the corner of his lips. I would have to play this one by ear.  
"The noodles were in there just rotting away. There are starving children in some country I can't pronounce."  
"So why not send the noodles to the children?"  
"Because i'm not in a country I can't pronounce."  
"Follow me." I gulped down the remainder of my water and made a mental note to wash my glass when I got back from my field trip with Yuki. We paused in front of a phone. They have a phone?! "I thought you'd want to get in touch with your family. I can only imagine how lonely you are by now." I was shocked.  
"But Shigure's phone bill...." Yuki shrugged before picking up the receiver.  
"He should've thought about that before he brought an American home."  
  
RRRIIINNNGGGG!  
"Hello? Momma?" I felt like a lost little child that had been kidnapped and finally being able to call her to let her mother know that she was safe and alright. I kept my voice low, in fear that I would wake up the entire household with my blubbering. Yuki kept watch at the entrance to the room. There was a gasp on the other end and I could only guess that she was beginning to cry. Don't cry Momma...  
"Dusty? Babygirl?" Usually, I would cringe at the childhood name but now I smiled when I heard it. I missed being loved like that.  
"Hi Momma!!"  
"WHERE IN THE MOTHER OF PEARL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" I pulled the phone away from my ear. So much for a happy reunion.  
"Um...well...it's a funny story really."  
"Really now? Why don't you tell me this 'funny story' and i'll just see how hilarious it is." Now I winced. This phone call had gone from sappy and sweet to humiliating and anger filled. And there was nothing worse than an angry Cajun artist.  
"Well.....I got lost."  
"WHAT? Why didn't find the police? Or better yet, find a pay phone?" So Japan DID have a police force. Well what do ya know?  
"I didn't know where a police station was! And Kimmi had all the change!" That was the entire truth too!  
"You could've tried asking someone for directions to the hotel. How'd you get lost in the first place?" I gripped the plastic phone in a tighter hold.  
"I tried that Momma! Plus, I forgot the name of the hotel. And it wasn't exactly my fault!"  
"How'd ya get lost Dusty....." I knew that tone. That was the 'don't you dare lie to me at this point young lady because an ocean won't keep me from bustin' the side of your head' tone.  
"A crowd got between me and the gals." That was somewhat truthful. What?! I can't tell my mother that a sex shop was what got me lost! She still thinks that I think the stork brings babies to the parents. I learned from Cinemax just how babies were made at a very young age. We don't need to go into details people.  
"Dusty....what am I going to do with you? So where are you?"  
"Well...another funny part of the story. I'm stayin with this family in Japan."  
"WHAT?! Dusty!!!"  
"Mom! Chill out!!!"  
"Don't you tell me to chill out! My baby is staying with strangers in a country that she's never been to!"  
"I know, I know. It doesn't sound too great right now, but they've been real good to me. Bought me clothes...fed me...the guy who owns the house even took me to a doctor to get my wrist checked out."  
"Clothed you....fed you....and failed to take you to the proper authorities! And what's this about your wrist?!" I was growing agitated. I understood her worry but I couldn't help but feel like I was under the interrogation light. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Well....almost.  
"My wrist is fine Momma. And they didn't take me anywhere cause I agreed to help them out."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well they're in a bit of a bind and I agreed to help them. Don't worry Momma, it's nothin' illegal. In fact, you can help too, Momma. You can start by giving me the name of my hotel and then telling me what kind of family history we have." I heard a sigh and prayed every prayer in the book that she wasn't twirling her hair around, debating whether to get the government and the entire U.S. Army involved. "Momma..please..."  
"I don't know what kind of mess you're in Dusty.....promise me you're alright."  
"Of course i'm alright."  
"Hotel Americana." Whoa, where did I get Sakura Hotel from? Well....they almost sounded alike. Not quite but there was a ....alright they sounded nothing alike.  
"And the family history?"  
"Dusty......you know I could care less about that stuff. Your Nana could probably help you but..."  
"Alright Momma! Love ya lots! Call ya later from the hotel!! Bye!" And that was the end of the conversation. Sure, I failed to mention that I had fallen head over heels for a 27 year old writer and that I couldn't bring home because he turns into a dog everytime he's hugged by the opposite sex. You could risk alot that way. For instance my mom's sanity, my stepfather's sanity, my little sister's innocence, and let's not forget Beaker, my miniature Shar-pei. She has yet to breed and seeing Shigure in dog form may send her in a mad hunt for wild dog sex. And then i'd be jeopardizing Shigure's manhood. Of course now that I think about it....  
I see Yuki staring at me and I quickly dismiss any thoughts of such an act. Although it would be quite funny. Yuki walked up to me and it was then that I noticed the tiny cut above his head. I reached up to touch it, not even thinking about putting two and two together. All I knew was that it needed some antiseptic, otherwise he would risk infection. He jerked away from my touch and I for a moment I thought I had seriously hurt him. Maybe the cut was deeper than I had first perceived.  
"You need to put something on that."  
"It's fine."  
"Just show me where the first aid kit is." Yuki grudgingly accepted my nursing skills and escorted me to to a first aid kit that had seemed to be growing a coat of dust. I quickly wiped off the grime and set to work on his head injury. Nothing too bad, I just needed an alcohol pad and a band aid. "By any chance, do you know where the Hotel Americana is?" He nodded, wincing when I applied pressure to the cut.  
"I can take you there on my way to school." I crinkled the paper into a small wad and searched for a trashcan.  
"Are you sure it won't be a problem?"  
"Of course n-"  
"Don't worry about it, Yuki. I'll take her." I had to blow a chunk of chesnut hair out of my face in order to see Shigure's full form. Dammit. Yuki was more than welcome to take me to the hotel. At least HE didn't put the moves on me the night before and then ask forgiveness!!  
"It wouldn't be a problem, Shigure." I folded my arms over my chest defensively.  
"See, he said it wouldn't be a problem."  
"I can take you myself."  
"I really don't want to BURDEN you." Ooh. Nice one Dusty. Now he'll be BEGGING to come back to you...only not. Yuki made several glances between me and Shigure before excusing himself to head out to school. Great. Now I was alone with him. We all saw what happens when we're alone. I have a tear jerking moment and he makes it all better with a kiss. A long sigh passes through Shigure's lips and half of me wondered if I was being too hard on him.  
"Just get dressed and meet me out front." I gritted my teeth. Or perhaps I wasn't being hard ENOUGH!!!  
  
I took my sweet time in getting ready. I would have easily rushed if Yuki had been the one taking me to Hotel Americana out of the kindness of his heart. But oh no. For some strange reason, Fate got a huge kick out of torturing me with the writer. We walked in silence for a good block before Shigure spoke up.  
"Look, Dusty.....about last night." I silenced him with the flip of my good wrist.  
"Nuff' said. I am perfectly aware of the pity practice you took upon me. Remind me never to open up to you again."  
"What?! That is NOT what I had intended!" I sped up my pace, trying to get away from the fact that he was right. He had listened to me that night and then kissed me. I couldn't sense no pity. I peered up at the tall red building, thankful for the hotel and its generous mint on the pillow service.  
"Oh look, we're here."  
"I'll wait outside for you."  
"What makes you think i'll come back?" I gave him a quick glare before heading in. I'll admit, the last remark even made MY blood blister and I wasn't even the one who deserved it. A little part,and I mean MICROSCOPIC, of me hoped he would still be out here. I had remembered everything about the hotel, from my room number to which elevator to take in order to get there. So why couldn't I remember the stupid name?! I stopped before my hotel door, suddenly feeling very nervous. I had made no effort to get into contact with my friends because I had let hormones get in the way of straight thinking. Maybe when I get back to the States, I should create a self help program for teenagers with hormone problems. I gave a soft knock and hoped and prayed that they wouldn't be pissed. Becky answered the door with a tear stained face. The tears were quickly replaced with a wide grin.  
"Dusty!!!" She hugged me tightly, which, I would give her that much. I must've had them worried. She let go of me, delivering a swift slap to my left cheek. Okay, now THAT i'd have to reconsider. I'd let it pass for the time being. "Where the hell have you been?! We're were worried sick about you!"  
"Glad to see you too..." I rubbed at my stinging cheek, a little hurt that my best friend would throw such a slap at me. Frankie and Kimmi were quickly by Becky's side, embracing me as Becky had, only without the slap.  
  
An hour later, after I had explained what had happened after I had lost them, why I had gotten lost, whom I had been staying with, and why I hadn't come into contact with them, I sat on my bed rubbing the sides of my head in stress. Becky sat across from me as Frankie contacted Becky's mother and my father, who had taken it upon himself to call out of worry which is unusual in the act itself. She was staring at her black clad nails intently, focusing mainly on her cuticles.  
"So he kissed you huh?" I nodded, shielding my eyes from the lamp by the bed. It felt so good to lay on a bed three feet from the ground.  
"Yep." Of course, I had left out the fact that I could never hug Shigure or even sleep with him for that matter. I don't know about everyone else's friends but I think mine would be a tad freaked if I told them that the guy I kissed would turn into an animal from the placemats we will from the Chinese resturaunt across from the highschool. And did I mention the animal isn't even our year? Oh, yeah....they'd love that. I stood and beside the large window and noticed that Shigure was still standing in spot I had left him at. Granted, he was leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette, but he was still there nonetheless. I gasped and pressed my forhead to the glass. He was actually waiting for me?!  
"Is that him?" I nodded once more.  
"He's cute." Silence. "Look, I didn't mean to slap you. You just had us freaked, ya know? I was scared, really scared. I didn't know where you were when we went back to look for you. And then I could hardly understand the police..." She was crying again. I was still cold towards her, though. I wasn't mad at her. I just felt bad because I couldn't tell my best friend the true reason why I was going to have to go back after awhile.  
"Becky....they need my help. I don't know why but I feel like I need to help." She squinted at me, her chocolate orbs trying to figure out the meaning behind my statement.  
"I know. I figured that much. But why is it so important?"  
"Beck....look....they had a picture of me in their family history. Somehow, my blood is involved. I just don't know how yet. I won't spend the night over there. But I got to help em." She smiled sadly at me. I think she had hoped that this vacation would spent as a friend thing and not a Dusty solving an ancient mystery type of thing. I don't plan these crusades! I don't watch hours of Indiana Jones, UNLESS it's on cable, and say to myself 'Hey! I'm going to go traveling to an exotic location and hunt down a golden monkey head just to be betrayed by my guide, have daggers shot at me, be chased by the Aztec or whatever tribe it was version of the world's biggest bowling ball AND a group of natives controlled by some old enemy of mine, and then top it off by finding a snake climbing up my body in the plane.' Not that I have a problem with snakes, but geez! The Sohma family curse just fell in my lap. I couldn't just leave without the least bit of curiosity about my ancestor's picture. And let's not forget about the weird sickly dude in the room all by his lonesome self. There was something more going on and I would be damned if I didn't get answers!  
"I understand. I don't know the details, but perhaps it's better this way. Just promise you won't scare us like that again, okay?"  
"Deal." She sat back on the bed, quietly listening to Frankie's voice in the room beside ours.  
"Is it really that weird?" I leaned upon the glass and shoved my hands in my pockets.  
"You have no idea."  
  
I hastily walked through the lobby, almost tripping inside the revolving door. My heart sank as I made it outside. He was gone. I had just seen him and now he was gone. I brushed a strand of hair out of my face hoping that my hair was the only thing concealing his presence. I scanned the area, trying to sense a hint of nicotine or cheap cologne or SOMETHING.  
  
"Looking for something?" I probably jumped a good five feet in the air before turning around. He hadn't left, just moved to talk to a bellhop. I advanced towards him, keeping my head down. If I looked at him now, my hormone problem would jump out again and I made a deal that I wouldn't do that to Becky.  
"I'm going to do a little research tonight and see what I can dig up on that picture." He nodded and took a drag of his cigarette. Lucky for him....I had taken my allergy pill.  
"So then you're staying here tonight?" I ran a nervous hand through my henna colored hair.  
"Yeah....you know, it's only fair. I've worried them to death."  
"Oh yeah....I know that you .."  
"It's not because.."  
"Of course n-"  
"Cause, I mean that would be sil-"  
"Right." It felt like I was breaking it off with a guy than hadn't made anything offcial. But it still hurt. Sure, i'd still see him until I left, but it was different from him sleeping right across from me. "I'll send Yuki over for you then tomorrow."  
"Alright then." We said our goodbyes and he was off. The sick feeling was there again, and this time, I didn't have Yuki around to fix me a cup of tea. A flash of red caught my eye from across the street and before I knew it, my feet were struggling to keep up with him. There was no doubt in my mind who had been spying on me. Damn Kyou......  
  
Becky gazed down and found herself in shock as she watched her best friend run after some guy. She was at it again! What did they have to do, put a leash on the girl just so she woudln't go running after every guy she laid eyes on?!  
"Guys! She's at it again!!" All three girls rushed downstairs in hopes of retrieving their friend.  
  
I caught up to him in less time than I had expected. Now i'm partially glad I had shown up for gym more than half the time. I skidded to halt before Kyou, slamming him into a wall with my elbow. He wasn't going to get out of this that easily. He quickly shook my assault off and braced himself for his own attack. He laid out a single kick to the back of my knee. What was he hoping to achieve there? I always lock my knees up and once they're locked, they're like steel. Hard, unbreakable steel, baby. I was a little insulted that he would try such a thing. I once again delivered a single blow to keep him steady.  
"Why the hell were you watching me and Shigure?!"  
"To make sure."  
"Of what?"  
"I don't have to answer to you!" This was getting really old, really fast. Meredith wasn't even this stubborn and she was two! I quirked my eyebrow and planted a hand on my hip. Time to bring out Ms. Attitude. Not that she was ever put away in the first place, but still.  
"What? Did you think we were planning on taking your precious Tohru away from you?!" He lowered his eyes in shame. He really did think that! Why that little paranoid freak! My eyes turned into angry thin slits.  
"Do you love her?"  
"Huh?"  
"Wanna hold her?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Squeeze her?"  
"What?!"  
"Never leave her?"  
"Well yes..."  
"Then ya got, to got, to got to try a little tenderness!!" Perhaps I went a bit overboard but I think he got my point. I let him go just as Becky rounded the corner, her dark eyeliner running from her heated overload. And for a moment there, I thought they didn't care....  
  
"Allo oui?" Damn. I caught Pops instead of Nana. I had called three times earlier, wanting to reach Nana before her scuba practice in the swamps. Don't ask, for even I do not question Nana's motives.  
"Bonjour Pops!" I loved my Pops. He was a cool guy. However, I can't help but compare him to the chef on the Muppets. You just can't quite understand him. That's Pops. You love him even though you don't understand what he's saying three quarters of the time. Even now, in his long string of French-English-Jibberish, all I can get out of his mouth are the words popcorn and buck...at least I hope he said buck. "Yeah, um Pops? Is Nana there?" I heard some shuffling which I guessed was Pops trying to get out of his overstuffed recliner. I swear, that man would rather be buried with his recliner than anything worth monetary value.  
"Yes?"  
"Nana!"  
"Dusty!! How're ya doin' girl? Yer ma had a real scare wit yer disappearance n' all." I twirled the phone cord around my index finger. Nana was not one for lectures. Please Lord, do not let her have a change of heart.  
"Yes, I know, Nana. Hey, by any chance, do you have a family history book?"  
"Well you know I do Button. Lemme go fetch it fer ya!" And yet another childhood name that ceases to haunt me. I waited for a few moments for her return. "Okay! Here it is! What ya need fer me to look up?"  
"Um...I don't exactly know her name. But she looks just like me and has some tie to Japan and a family by the name of Sohma." I could hear the flipping of pages and a curse word here and there. At least I know where I get my mouth now.  
"Well, the only one that resembles you darlin would be Sabrina LaFayette. Doll, the alikeness is uncanny!"  
"That's what I said! What's the story with her, Nana?" I few more mutterings.  
"Well, it says 'ere that she traveled to Japan often and became aquainted with Mus..i..o...ko Sohma and his cousin, Ta..ki..yomo Sohma. A couple of highclass gents, ya know? Anyway, supposedly her handmaiden dealt in the arts of voodoo." I crunched down on an apple while yanking a pencil from the bunch that was keeping my hair up. I quickly scratched down the information my grandmother was spewing.  
"Keep goin' Nana."  
"Well, the two men fell in love with her, as did she with them. But Sabrina was a kind soul, she was. And didn't like the fact that she was splitting a family apart. She couldn't be greedy and love both but she couldn't decide neither. The catch though, was that neither man told her how they felt. So one day, she got tired of all the fighting, and she and her handmaiden placed a curse upon the entire family. The rest is in French, dear. And i'm afraid I don't deal in that."  
"Well ask Pops!"  
"I can't right now kiddo! I gotta jet! It's my turn to drive the gals to scuba class."  
"Nana!"  
"Give me a ring tomorrow! Love ya bunches!! Kiss kiss!!" Click. I groaned in agrivation. I had so many questions and no answers. Like, for instance, why the Chinese zodiac? And why when they embrace? And was it JUST because of the cousins? Becky was reading some vampire novel beside me, getting giddy when the dark handsome bloodsucker would make an appearance. She did the same thing when Brad Pitt came on the screen the first time in 'Interview With The Vampire'. She gracefully pulled herself away from the book and stared at me.  
"Any progress?" I went to collapse on the bed before Becky pushed me on my side,pointing at the tiny pile onmy head. "Dusty!! Pencils!!" 


	6. Trying To Keep The Ground On My Feet

This might be the most recent chapter for awhile. I'm going to be working hastily on another project that will take up a good deal of time. But I managed this chapter so enjoy! And review every now and then.....you know, to keep the Texan happy.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused : Trying To Keep The Ground On My Feet**  
  
I don't know if it had been the overly glazed doghnuts or the three cups of Tang but I was jiced up to full womanly potential. Not only had I left my hair down, but I had also styled it. I also used the full potential of 'the twins' to my benefit by sporting a low cut shirt and short skirt to match. I wasn't desperate, just eager for action or to make a certain someone regret the day he ever laid his lips on me. Either way, I was ALL woman that morning. I am woman here me roar...meow. I wouldn't admit it to anyone but myself but I was miserable. The makeup and the curls and the mini skirt was just a cheap cherade. Vendictive? Oh yes. But it was all his fault....all of it. Case closed.  
I was in the lobby at sunrise. I had wandered about the semi ritzy room, wondering if I had turned the bathroom light off for Becky. She had cussed out loud plenty of times during my facial pampering, and was quite livid by the time I had left the room. I walked amongst elderly couples and hungover teenagers, pacing about wildly while waiting for Yuki's appearance. And sure enough, there he was, waving from outside the revovling doors. Part of me agreed with him for staying outside. Those revolving doors were nothing but murderous traps. But somehow I made it through, suddenly stiffening at the sight of Yuki's bruised cheek. Who would want to bruise such a face? Well, I guess a model would. I mean, Yuki could beat Rebecca Romaijn-Stamos any day of the week. I went to check the damage when Yuki pulled away from my reach. Understandable enough, I guess.  
  
"It's nothing. We better get going." I left it at that. I've seen way too many Lifetime movies to know when to shut up. If they don't want you to know, they won't tell you. But sooner or later i'd have to step in. That's the rules. Television for women says so. And t.v. is hardly ever wrong, with the exception of Jerry Springer. That show is wrong on so many levels.  
  
We walked in silence all the way to the Sohma house. I had anticipated a good conversation with Yuki but got nothing. At least not until we were a good block away from the house. He turned to me with a good natured smile on his face. And it was the smile that made me nervous. It was a smile similar to Yuki's that got me into this mess to begin with.  
"Go easy on him." I quirked an arched eyebrow and rested my hands behind my back. I resembled an innocent highschool girl once again. Oh, how I missed those simple days.  
"What are you talking about?" He cocked his head to the side, much like Beaker. It would be hard to picture Yuki with wrinkled skin though.  
"Shigure..." This again? More than anything, I wanted to drop the subject. " He has a hard time...showing his true nature." I rubbed my sandal clad foot in the dirt, instantly gaining a grimey base on my black toenails. I know, I know. Black nailpolish on your toes? But hey, I like to be different. Sure, Shigure would see the long legs and the perky breasts but deep down below, there was pure and dark anger. And it centered around my toes. Take that Mr. Forgive Me.  
"Right..." I wasn't paying much attention to Yuki anymore. I was focused on figuring out where he got the shiner from. I was going to find out even if it killed me. And at the rate I was going, I was probably going to be laying in a casket soon. Yuki led me into the kitchen and soon left afterwards, leaving me to a very entertaining cup of tea. It's a tad bit hard to have a conversation with steaming liquid, Yuki. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tohru fixing up Yuki. He couldn't look her in the eye or even call her 'Tohru' for that matter. I think I could even sense the slightest blush when she touched him. Oh no...it couldn't be....  
"Good morning....Dusty?" I spied Hatori's eyes trail up my scantily clad legs and I quickly searched for a blanket or a jacket or SOMETHING to cover up the limbs of mine. I hastily threw off my blue jean jacket and covered up the albino bean posts. Hatori sat across from me, adjusting his tie. Why did the doc show up?  
"Where's Shigure?"  
"Out." Liar. He didn't want to see me did he? How cheap can a person get? Here I was, getting all glammed up for his...interests...persay. And he has the nerve to send his friend on his behalf? "So what did you find out?" I rested my head on my palm and crossed my legs in a ladylike fashion. I couldn't help but be disappointed. All this effort and it was for nothing.  
"Not much. I have an ancestor named Sabrina who was indeed involved with the Sohma family and also placed the curse upon them. It said because she was tired of the cousins fighting over her love. I don't buy it though. There's more to this story....much more."  
"I'll see what I can't find out on Sabrina. Maybe there is more of her mentioned in the book." I stirred my tea with one of my fingers before dipping the drenched appendage in mouth. I didn't mean to come off as seductive or even cute for that matter. I was just stirring the contents of a drinks, that's all. But it made the doctor blush and I couldn't help but feel good about myself. I at least had the slightest bit of a reaction from a man. I got to leave at the moment, my skirt catching in a crook in the table. I certainly didn't want to rip the brand new item of clothing, even though it barely covered in the first place. Hatori jumped up from his position at the table and tried his best to unlatch the cloth from the table. If one were to walk in at that moment, it would look as if the healer was trying to feel me up. Of course, he wasn't.  
"Hatori? Did you talk to her about the....oh my." Both the medicine man and I froze, unable to comprehend the amount of crimson spreading across our faces. The skirt chose then to come unhooked. That would've been great FIVE MINUTES AGO. I fixed my skirt and brushed alongside a stunned Shigure. As soon as I was out of seeing distance from the kitchen, I slid down the wall in exhaustion. This was becoming too difficult for me to handle. I hid my face from view and reluctantly decided to listen to the confrontation between Hatori and Shigure.  
"Well I see you've moved on..."  
"Dont start Shigure. I was helping her out. Her skirt got caught on the table."  
"Oh, of course. It just happened to look like something else?"  
"Yes! Exactly! I don't feel like doing this right now. You asked me to talk to her in your place. I did that. Now I have to go check on Akito. Do yourself a favor and talk to her Shigure. You owe her that much." So, Hatori was on my side for once. About damn time. I heard Hatori leave and I pulled myself together before Shigure walked out. He glanced at me, debating whether he should take Hatori's advice. In reality, I wanted to talk it out with him. Just let him know that I wasn't pissed off anymore. I was just hurting nowadays. We kept the stare locked between us before he finally turned away from me and walked away. I held out my arm to him, unable to say what I wanted.  
"Shigure..." He paused. "I.....I'll keep calling around." He nodded and I chose then to leave.  
  
"Allo oui?" I changed ears for the phone and pulled a pencil out of the small handbag I carried with me these day. I rolled my pearly orbs at the sound of my grandfather's gritty Cajun voice.  
"Bonjour Pops!"  
" Ah! Button!" Ew. There was that name again. I know exactly how I got it too. The day I was born my Nana dragged Pops through the nursery section of the hospital, creating a ruckus where ever they went. My Nana spotted a dark complected, brown eyed baby, that weighed a good ten pounds and mistook the child as me. It wasn't until an hour later when the nurse gave me to my mother that Nana discovered that I wasn't dark skinned, or brown eyed, and definetly not ten pounds.  
"She's as cute as a button, she is!" And thus, the name got stuck with me.  
"Pop? Is Nana there by any chance?" A few mumbles plus the closing of a few doors. And then there was a loud war cry. I could only guess that Nana was mud wrestling with an alligator. Oh Nana...  
"Ello?" She was out of breath but I bet my entire life savings that the gator was in worse condition.  
"Hey Nana!"  
"Button! What brings your voice to this end of the phone line?" I began to doodle on my notepad, which already consisted of serveral angry scribbles followed by a small picture of what seemed to look like a cat, but at this point I wasn't really sure.  
"Well Nana....I was hoping that you had gotten the rest of that story translated for me."  
"Ahhh..yes I did in fact. "  
"Great! Enlighten me." I could tell that Nana was finding a good resting place. She finally settled down on the crunchy old couch and began to flip through the book once more.  
"Well...Pop said that Sabrina had placed the curse upon the family for other reasons besides the fighting. It said that she was tired of the Sohma taking love for granted. So, if they could not learn to love then they would never be able to feel the touch of the opposite sex. "  
"Uh-huh.....so why the Chinese zodiac?"  
"Pops says that she had just learned of the Chinese zodiac from a Chinese tutor. It must've been the first thing that popped into my head."  
"That makes no sense Nana. Why would she include the cat? And a curse because they were a little mean to each other? A little extreme isn't it?" A loud pounding began to come from the next room and I had to muffle a laugh. Frankie and the bellhop and grown....aquainted. Nana questioned my small giggle but pushed it away by referring back to my questions.  
"Extreme? Perhaps. And as for the cat...I told you before, Sabrina was a kind soul."  
"So why include the cat?"  
"Because the cat was excluded to begin with."  
"Huh?"  
"Oh Dusty Dusty Dusty. Do not try to understand things that are beyond your reach." I shoved a pillow case underneath the door in hopes of silencing the sickening moans. I should've followed Becky and Kimmi to the Higurashi shrine. But noooo.....I had to play Sherlock Holmes.  
"Nana....this doesn't explain anything."  
"It also says that there was a dark force present in her life that she wanted to rid of. A man who hated her and everything about love."  
"Does it say how to break the curse?"  
"Yes....only when a Sohma can admit to the dark force that love has indeed taken over their heart, will their own curse be lifted."  
"Got it."  
"One more thing Dusty..."  
"Shoot."  
"The love has to be revealed by the other as well." I jotted the last part down and said my goodbyes. When everything had finally calmed down, I chose to take a nap. During my peaceful slumber, I dreamt a dream...  
  
"You didn't tell him."  
"I tried, Sabrina."  
"I see."  
A flash of light and I see Yuki straggling across the yard, holding his head. And then I see the large cut above his eye the next day. The sickly looking guy. So dark. So evil.  
"I have to go check on Akito." My eyes pop open and it all makes sense. Every generation had an Akito. Their dark force. Was that what drove Sabrina away? I pressed my ear to the door to check and see if Frankie was still at work on the bellhop. Luckily, she was slumbering like a baby. I grabbed my bag and crept down to the lobby and out the door.  
  
I hadn't expected Shigure to answer the door, yet he did. I pulled my jacket around my body to keep his heat away from my own body. I was nervous but I didn't know why. Well I knew why, I just didn't feel like pulling a 'Passions' scene quite yet. I pulled at my lip as he invited me in. I shed my shoes at the door and quickly discarded my jacket along with them . Shigure had already sat himself down, knowing that my intention was to talk.  
"I know what you're here for." I plopped down next to him and folded my hands. I was no longer in the skirt, having given up on the sexy American look after my compromising situation with Hatori.  
"You do?" He nodded and held my hand in his. Blood rushed to my head and I could feel myself getting dizzy by the second.  
"I'm just not able to give that kind of committment right now. Maybe Hatori is indeed the right man for you. He was always one for committment." I yanked my hand back as if it were on fire.  
"What?! I didn't come here to talk about Hatori! Or you! And what in Angelina Jolie does Hatori have to do with anything?! You CANNOT still be hung up on this morning!"  
"I know what I saw! And you didn't come here to talk about....us?" He said the 'us' in a hushed tone. His head was lowered and I couldn't help but follow the movement like the idiot I am.  
"No....I came to ask you about the story behind why the cat was excluded."  
"Oh...right...of course." He was obviously embarrassed by his outburst and I could almost see a hint of red spreading over his cheeks. So cute! Argh! Get a hold of yourself, Dusty!  
"The cat..." The silence was about to kill me and I had to start him on the story before I rushed out to make yet another long distance call to Nana.  
"I know your time is wasted over here so i'll keep it short. As you know, the cat and rat are mortal enemies." Well, yeah, of course. I've watched enough Tom and Jerry specials to figure that one out. "When the zodiac had first come together, there was a celebration. The rat basically tricked the cat and so the cat was left out of the party."  
"Uh-huh...so there will always be a cat in the curse?" Shigure shrugged. This was taking me nowhere. I could now see the 'Dead End' sign at the end of my road and I was trying desperately to look for a clear drive way to make a turn around and get a fresh start. Part of me just wanted to clear off the board and start all over. As of now, I was left with these facts : This 'Akito' was the dark force. The Sohma curse could be lifted off an individual if the dark force is pushed from his/her life and love takes its place. And their object of affection would have to do the same. In other words, true love, as cheesy at that may sound. Yuki and Kyou were falling for the same chick. Shigure suspects me of falling in love with the same man who broke my wrist just days earlier. I began to twist a my sixteenth birthday gift around my ring finger. And yes, you guessed it, it was a ring. Yet another bad habit. The ring, though, was given to me by my father. Perhaps the only meaningful thing he has ever given me.  
"What's that?" I finally noticed what I had been doing. It was either the lip or the ring and I kind of need my lips. I peered down at the Irish wedding ring my father had given me on the fateful day. I was sort of surprised that he gave it to me. Customs go like this, the hands symbolize friendship, the heart - love, and the crown - loyalty. If the heart points inward, your heart has been taken....you're in love. If the heart points outward, then you're a single schmo like me. My heart has always been outward. Always.  
"Oh....that. My Irish wedding ring. My father gave it to me when I turned 16. I wanted a car but got a twelve dollar ring instead. I still want the car."  
"What does it mean?" I went through the cruel details of what each thing meant and took it off for the first time in two and half years since it was given to me. "Has your heart always been pointing outwards?" I stood up and sat on the coffee table to get a full view of the man sitting before me.  
"Well....yes. I think this thing has brought nothing but bad luck. Either that or i'm cursed." I quickly winced at the irony in my comment. "I didn't mean it like that..."  
"Of course not." He handed the ring back to me and I slid my Irish ring over my French hertiage finger.  
"What about your parents?"  
"What about them?" Was he playing with me or something? I know I stutter sometimes but I was sure that my question had been clear enough. I sighed just as he stood up to what I thought was showing me the way out. Instead, he brought me to the kitchen for a cup of tea. I was slightly grateful. I hadn't eaten a single thing besides the doughnuts from this morning. I happily accepted the drink and began gulping the hot liquid immediately. "It's not that I don't like you." His voice almost caused me to choke on the tea. I was glad I had quick reflexes at that moment. Where was he getting with this?  
"Of course not. I'm a highly likeable person. Or so i've been told."  
"Really?" I pushed the cup away from me.  
"No. I was just trying to impress someone from the opposite sex. Did it work?" He smiled for the first time that day in front of me.  
"I've always been impressed with you." I felt like a child with a crush on my older next door neighbor. That happened to me once. His name was Nick and he was in the Army. Sadly, he broke my heart when he brought home Maria, a Spanish table dancer and bartender at a local club. She had everything I didn't at the time : boobs, legs all the way to Canada, and an accent that would make Antonio Banderas jealous. I shifted my weight and lowered my head. That was a really sweet comment. Almost sugar coated enough to give me a cavity. Shigure shook off his remark. "I shouldn't be leading you on like that." So much for sugar coated. Now things were becoming sour and quite rotten. But my rough exterior wouldn't allow such a slap to my face.  
"You're right, you shouldn't. But you do it anyway. I need to go." I gathered up my things and left without another glance towards him.  
  
It was later on that night, when Frankie was telling of her lust for the bellhop, that it began to storm. Not the peaceful raindrops that could put you to sleep. I mean, the Dracula is coming tonight type of storm. We had all been snacking on take out and sodas while flipping through the channels of Japanese television. We didn't know what in the blue hell they were talking about but we figured out that the long haired guy was in love with the female main character. Then there was the crazy villian with the screwed up mustache. We have yet to figure out how he fits into the plot. I went to the window in hopes of getting away from the movie and finding solace in the lightning. Frankie, Kimmi, and Becky were still camped out in front of the cable box.  
"I think he's the hero's brother..."  
"They look nothing alike, Becky! He doesn't even have a mustache!"  
"It looks fake anyway..." And then I saw him. Draped in darkness until the lightning gave me a full view of his form. I had to squint to make sure it was Yuki at first. But there he was, in plain sight, soaking wet from the rain and creating a very eerie atmosphere. I jumped back, landing on my rear with great force. I let out a small scream. Who wouldn't? The guy whom you're guessing is the 'dark force' is watching you through your window! I love attention but that's a little too creepy for me.  
"Dusty? What's wrong?" Becky was kneeling beside me and the pool of popcorn that I had spilled along the way. I pointed a shakey finger to the window, unable to communicate to my friends. Frankie was the first one at the thick glass, staring off into some unknown scene. "What is it?"  
"Him. He's here. Outside." Frankie looked towards where I had pointed, straining to find someone through the dark rain. I guess it didn't help that it was nighttime.  
"I don't see anyone, Dusty." I jumped up from the carpet and slammed my forehead against the window. She was right, he was gone.  
"That's impossible. He was there! Akito was there!" Frankie gave a sympathetic smile and grabbed her coat. Becky and I watched from the hotel room as the tall woman surveyed the front of the hotel over and over again, only to find puddles. Becky let a hand fall to my shoulder, just as any good friend would.  
"You're stressed out. That's all." No. I know what I saw. I saw Akito's shape and form and his whole entiriry standing outside the hotel. It wasn't my imagination. The man somehow knew about me and didn't like the fact that I was involved with the Sohma family. How freaking scary can that freak get?! 


	7. Cheesy Eighties Movies Killed Elvis

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
Easily Amused: Cheesy 80's Movies Killed Elvis  
  
A great actor once said in a movie "Elvis didn't die, he just went home!" Sure, the movie was about men in black suits who rid Earth of the scum of the universe. And sure, the actor was Tommy Lee Jones but I am quite the believer in such a theory. I don't go around saying that to everyone. I mean, let's face it. New Orleans would kick me out of the city if I went around saying Elvis is still alive. And I know he isn't. But I do believe that are things beyond what you see everyday. For example, love. You can kind of see love all over the place. Mothers love their children, well most of them do. You see couples disregarding the rules of PDA because they supposedly love each other. And then there's the other kind of love. The can't eat, can't sleep, change the stars, boom! it just kind of happened love. You didn't plan on ever asking the guy out and never did. You just spend time with them and then the BOOM! theory pops in. It just kind of happened.  
What am I saying? Love? Me? I'm not capable of enacting such a thing. I'll give my life's savings to the first guy who can love me, which is obviously true love because I have exactly five bucks to my name in that account. Yes, I have a spending problem. Listen to me, babbling on about Elvis and money. As of right now, i'm laying awake in a hot room. I don't even know if the stupid air conditioner works. Maybe it's the hundreds of blankets Becky persuaded me to take for the night. She thought I needed the security. Security? Yeah, right. Security was about to give me a heat stroke. I get up out of bed and walk down to the lobby for a late night visit with Jim. Jim is the night watchman and just so happens to have a Japanese wife that makes a killer cup of tea. She sends Mr. American Jim with a big thermos full of the stuff. You can imagine my surprise when I woke up one night to find the middle aged man and was even more surprised at the fact he would share such a tasty treasure.  
It was colder outside than I had expected. Luckily, I learned from the Sohma household that a robe is needed whenever you step out of your room. Otherwise, you risk a nice flashing of your chest and a star spot on Girls Gone Wild!: Japan Edition. And of course, Jim was right there at the front door, resting against the brick wall. I poked my head out of the murderous rotating door. I hated that stupid door.  
"Well hi there kiddo!" I wish this man could've impregnated my mother to have me instead of my own father. A little mean, perhaps. But at least Jim would be there half the time. "I take it you came down for some tea?" I gave a corny kiddy grin and held out the complimentary plastic cup from the bathroom I had so diligently hidden for the occasion. We sat there in silence for awhile, Jim keeping a lookout and I, getting quite sleepy from the tea's drowsy like effects.  
"What does your wife put in this stuff? It always manages to put me to sleep." Jim smiled.  
"Sake and ginger."  
"Sake?" I repositioned myelf on the large planter that served as a chair for my late night visits.  
"Japanese alcohol. Keeps me awake though. Not like American alcohol." I curled up on the cold stone.  
"I can handle American alcohol though. Did you know I have never gotten drunk in my life?" Jim chuckled and shifted his weight. He wasn't a heavy man, quite muscular on the contrary.  
"Aren't you under age?"  
"I come from a family of rednecks and yankees. It's alcohol during the holidays on either side of the states. As long as i'm supervised by them, they don't really care. I haven't given them a reason to distrust me, yet."  
"Yet?" I cringed under Jim's fatherly gaze.  
"Well....I have a problem. And I can't tell my family about it."  
"Well i'm not family."  
"This is true." I was slowly starting to feel the affects of the sake. My senses were at full alert now. I think I was getting a Japanese buzz. "Well....I think i'm falling for this guy. But he's way older. It's legal and i'm turning 19 in like a month but still. And he has a small problem. It's fixable...but only if he obliges. And I don't think he will."  
"Okay..." Jim was trying desperately to understand me. "You know, my father fought in WWII...and when I brought home my wife for the first time, he went ballistic. He was still affected by the loss in the bombing of Pearl Harbor."  
"But your wife wasn't even alive then. She had nothing to do with it."  
"I know that. You know that. My wife knows that. But my father....didn't. At least not for awhile. The point is, I took her anyway. So he could see that she wasn't a spy conspiring for another Pearl Harbor. If you love this guy like I think you're saying you do...you'll do both him and your family a favor by telling them."  
"I don't even know if he loves me. I don't even know if I love him. Sure, the attraction's there. Lord knows I want nothing more than to just strip him down and m-"  
"THE point is...you should let them know anyway." I stood up and stretched, not even realizing how much better I felt to get these things off my chest.  
"Jim...as always...it's been a pleasure. I look forward to tomorrow night and your wife's tea." Jim gave me a hard pat on the back.  
"Just invest in sleeping pills, Dusty."  
"Those things are addictive. I already have a problem with Pixie Stix. I don't need to go into rehab for sleeping pills also."  
"So is alcohol."  
"So smart..." Jim and I parted and I finally felt like I could get a good night's rest.  
  
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!!" Sunlight flooded my senses and Becky's overly eager voice wasn't helping my run in with a Japanese alcoholic beverage. My head was pounding like a hammer on a nail and the last thing I wanted was to be woken up. "I swear, Dusty. You sleep in until the strangest hours." She tugged at my blankets, revealing my penguin pajamas. What? I like penguins, it's not a crime. I moaned and swatted at a form that I perceived to be Becky's.  
"It's my vacation. Let me sleep it away if I want." I heard Becky sigh as I grabbed the covers and pulled them over my head.  
"Fine. I'll just tell that Kyou guy to come back later." Wait a minute...I kicked off my covers and ran into the bathroom to change. It was weird that Shigure sent Kyou this time. The kid wanted nothing to do with me and the feeling was quite mutual. So it's quite understandable how curious I was to know what he wanted.  
Kyou's eyes widened when I made it through the evil rotating door. Which I can understand, considering my hair was still wet from my five minute shower and I had chosen a white tank top for my attire. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't packed a black bra in my suitcase. Damn Victoria's Secret and their annual sales! Damn them! I pulled my jean jacket over my shoulders in hopes of easing Kyou's nerves. I wanted to receive a thank you from the guy. I mean, the jacket was easily clashing with my old workout sweats. It wouldn't have been so bad if they were gray or black but these sweats were baggy and red! Red, of all colors. I shoved off the jacket. Ha! Take that cat boy!  
"I've been thinking about what you said. About showing more tenderness towards Tohru. I was wondering if you....you.. could..maybe....help me?" My brain scattered in millions of pieces. It was endearing that the guy wanted my help but something didn't make sense right now.  
"Whoa. Wait a minute. Shigure didn't send you?" He rubbed his toe in the cement.  
"Well no.."  
"So then where's Yuki?!"  
"Hell if I know." Oh no. No no no no no no no. It was Lifetime all over again. Only this time there was no good looking cop to help me and then later sleep with me to complicate things. Or were they always a detective? Either way, I found my legs leading me to the Sohma house at a very fast pace. I blame the speed on my gym detentions that seemed to add up quickly when I wouldn't dress out. I found Yuki almost immediately in front of the house, holding his sides. And something inside me snapped. My blood was boiling and my hormones were racing. Call it a Cajun temper, or PMS. But I was going to meet the asshole that was doing this to Yuki and he was going to pay. Not Mel Gibson payback. I was going Stone Cold Steve Austin on this one, folks. Yuki spotted me and made an effort to console me before I made a serious mistake. My eyes darted to the side of the house. There had to be another way inside.  
  
There was the room. In all its lonely glory. But there was no Akito. It was empty. I gathered up more courage than I thought I had and stepped inside of the room, only to be knocked down by a strong force. It was the sick guy! How could someone who looks so ill have so much pent up strength? Well there ya go, Dusty. You just answered your own question. I quickly got up to my feet and felt the blistering pain of a backhanded slap to the right side of my face. I'd feel that one later. The blow was a good one for it knocked me to the floor. I curled up into a tight ball, covering my face from the glass pitcher he threw at me. Geez, this guy was going crazy. I screamed as the glass made impact with my leg. I'd feel that later also. No, I take that back. I was feeling the son of bitch right now!! Akito was quickly on top of me, his hands wrapping around my throat. I kicked and tried to yell out for help. But I was becoming dizzy and little red, blue, and yellow spots were forming in my eyes.  
"Another LaFayette will not destroy us again!!" His eyes were so crazy, so real. I had been taught in self defense class that you should knee a guy in his crotch but the opportunity wasn't open for me. He was sitting on my stomach, which didn't help my defenses at all. The weight was suddenly knocked off me and I turned over on my stomach, glass scratching at my hands and elbows. I could feel blood seeping from my leg but my vision was returning and the blow to my face was a slap so I didn't expect too much damage.  
"Enough Akito!" Shigure. I knew that voice. My body ached but I was thankful to be alive. I finally stood up, noticing that Hatori, Ayame, and Tohru had somehow made an appearance when I was on the floor.  
"You bastard..." My voice was dangerously low. I wanted to rip him apart by now. Not only had he hurt my friend but he had also endangered my life. Unless you are St. Peter promising me a V.I.P spot in heaven, then no one does that. No one. "You BASTARD!" I ran forward, managing a single claw mark down his cheek. My coach had always called girls dangerous. He swore he would never interfere in a fight with a girl because they would end up clawing your eyes out. I didn't believe it until I wanted to do it myself. Shigure was stuck in between me and the heartless monster. I just couldn't understand how he could stand up for Akito.  
"Hatori! Ayame! Get her out of here!" The arms of both men snaked around my waist and I could tell I was being pulled out. I struggled until I was free of their grip. But I didn't attack. My head was creating its own beat and my cheek stung.  
"That damn curse was placed on your family because of someone like you. But you don't want it to go away do you? You like the power!!"  
"Hatori get her out of here!!"  
"You strive for that power. You get off on controlling people by violence. You like the fact that you're head of the household. You're sick, you know that? A sick coward!!" Hatori softly tugged at my sleeve and I took that as a subtle gesture to get out of the room. I followed unwillingly.  
  
I let out a small yelp as Hatori doused my leg in some medical chemical and picked out the last shards of glass. He never was the gentle type.  
"Would you hold still?"  
"Would you refrain from trying to kill me?!" He deliberately yanked out the last tiny piece with little sympathy. I had no major injuries. The worst was the glass but it didn't need any stitches. Just alot of hydrogen peroxide and gauze. How would I explain this one to Becky? "Next time, i'll just hire the actual wrestler to do the job. Maybe then I could be invited back over here again."  
"That was a brave thing to do. A little stupid, but brave nonetheless. I wish I could've stood up to him like you had." I watched Hatori's back tense up and couldn't help but feel bad for the Doctor of Doom.  
"You could've also. Things didn't have to end up the way they are."  
"Possibly." There was some movement from behind the door and Hatori quickly excused himself. I watched Shigure walk in, eyes deep in thought. I braced myself for the lecture of a lifetime. I half expected my mother to pop behind him, waving her finger around like a madman, er, madwoman. But instead, I received an ice pack to my cheek in the most gentle way I had ever seen. I winced at first, the cold mingling with the sting is enough to throw any girl off for a moment. Even beaten to a bloody pulp, I coudl recall a line from 'Pretty Woman' that fit my scenario almost perfectly. Julia Roberts had just been hit across the cheek and wondered if guys were taken back in the locker room and taught how to hit a woman just right on her cheek. I was starting to contemplate the same thing. But something else was bothering me. The nights I had spent at the Sohma house, I had heard every slap that Akito delivered upon Yuki, yet Shigure was right across the hall and acted like it was nothing. My mind wandered back to the night that he kissed me. He told me to go back to sleep after I heard the beating. That means...  
"You knew..." His eyes popped back up to mine and I ripped the ice pack from my face. "And you did nothing about it."  
"Dusty..." I hopped off the counter top that Hatori had originally placed me on.  
"No...just wait a minute. You knew exactly what was going on inside your house and you did nothing to stop it. Yuki...that's your flesh and blood." I felt like an angry Frenchman, ready to fight to the death with tricky sword fighting and the occasional witty remark.  
"So is Akito." Touchet little man. I did not see that one coming from a hair away. Of course I knew Akito was his family, but still. That didn't take away from my point, if I even had one. I was ready to burst out on him like Molly Ringwald did with her rich boyfriend in 'Pretty in Pink'. And why am I referring everything to 80's movies?! And then it hit me, in all my weird glory, Elvis didn't die from a heart attack. Nor did he go home.  
"Cheesy 80's movies killed Elvis!!" I would regret this outburst, I could tell already. But I have a point to this folks, just bear with me. Shigure peered over at me like I was a complete nutbag. And I probably could be considered one by now. Not only had I blindly run into a fight but I was also depicting my lovelife through the King himself.  
"Pardon?"  
"I have always based my feelings on Elvis. Everyone believes that he's alive. That there's something else. Like love. There's something else to it than chocolates and sweet nothings. And at first, I thought that me falling for you was just a figment of my imagination, like Elvis wasn't really dead. And then I came to grips and realized that the King's death....a.k.a my crush on you was real. But then it turns sour, and I thought that it was the kiss that had done it....Elvis' heart attack. But no. It was the monster in this house that did it....a force greater than a mere kiss." That was it. Akito was the eighties movie!! Perhaps only my mind can understand such odd comparisons but I thought maybe Shigure could understand. I mean, Japan has seen 'Pretty in Pink' also, right? He rubbed his chin, analyzing me like some understated psycho. I felt like I was Norman Bates in a hospital. No, i'm so much more than Norman Bates. I should at LEAST be a Micheal Myers. I was desperate though. I wanted this man to understand just what going on in this head of mine. Hell, I could hardly comprehend my brain, who was I to think Shigure would get it as well?  
"I think you need some sake." My arms collapsed to my sides. He didn't get it. It was hopeless. I was a hopeless situation that could only be handled with alcohol. But hey, no complaints here.  
"Yea..." My voice was high and strained. It's funny, but in every romantic comedy, there's always alcohol. I never said this one would be any different....  
  
"And then WHOOSH! My top flew off and landed right on the windshield of a truck!" I plopped down onto Shigure's lap, relishing in my drunkeness. I could feel no pain and I intended to keep the feeling up as long as possible. I knew that in the morning, I would be ashamed of all the nocturnal activities that would go on tonight but I also knew that Shigure wouldn't remember a single second of it. The boy was just as drunk as I, if not worse. We had somehow made it to his bedroom, a place I had never personally ventured to, which was littered with manuscipts and drawings of his characters. I laced my legs over his arms and tucked my head into the large sleeve of his writer's kimono. Sake was beginning it's sleepy affects on me once more.  
"Aww....quitting the party oh so soon?" His fingers trailed down my thigh before being brushed off by my hand. To tell you the truth, I wasn't drunk at all. I had spit out most of my sake when Shigure wasn't looking. Tricky? Incredibly. It was then that I noticed a drawing of myself near the bed. It had been the time I was singing and checking out my shoulder. So it was him who spied on me!! The art was almost near perfect except that he forgot the beauty mark on my left shoulder. Not that I expected him to see it at all. But that perverted little peeping Tom!! I softened at the fact that he actually took the time to draw me.  
"You got my bad side." He fell towards the mattress, clinging the piece of paper to his chest until he actually made impact with the bed.  
"I didn't know you had a bad side. All I saw was pure beauty." My eyes began to become blurry with unshed tears. Jesus M. Christ! I sat up and hovered over him. That had to have been the most wonderful line i've ever heard from a drunken man! Come to think of it, that was the ONLY line i've ever heard from a drunken man. But regardless of that fact, my heart still melted. And I was almost as surprised as him as I planted a kiss on him. I felt a soft finger run over my bruised cheek.  
"Did it hurt?"  
"Well it didn't tickle." I was honestly trying to keep the situation light.  
"I'm so sorry..." I was quickly sobered up of any alcohol lingering in my system. And then...well...the rest was all a blur. All I know, is that when we embraced, there was no puff of smoke, and no mutts. And that it would probably cause a huge stir up in the morning. 


	8. A Fine Line Between Bravery And Stupidit...

A/N:( blows kisses to all reviewers )Sorry, it was either artificial kisses or burnt smores. Don't hate me cause I can't cook....Anyway, new chapter!! I've been neglecting my stories lately, especially this one. Also, a little inside info....by any means, the curse is so not over with!! There was no mushy confession....yet. Just raw attraction....kinda.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused: A Fine Line Between Bravery and Stupidity**  
  
"I know she's in here!! You expect me to believe that she ran away in a country she had never visited and DIDN'T come here!? Don't make me laugh! Where is she?! Dusty Lynn LaFayette!! Get out here NOW!!" Ugh. Mom? No, i'm in Japan. Why is Dusty yelling like that? I scanned the sheets with my bare legs. These weren't mine or the hotel's. And I was sore; intensely sore. There was a slight movement on my waist and my mind began to send polaroids to my body, creating a slide show fit for Howard Stern's approval. I moved a bit underneath the giant hand, trying my best to keep the quiet so that Becky wouldn't barge in on my naked body. Sure, I was covered. But there was someone in here with me. Just as naked as the day the good Lord brought him into this life. I turned around, focusing on the boyish good looks of the man who had bed me. Oh no. No no no no no no. As soon as the morning light hit his face I let out the loudest scream I could manage, completing the horror by falling off the bed in an avalanche of cotton sheets. The door slid open and I could just imagine the display of shock Becky was mustering up.  
"Dusty?!" I wrapped the sheet around me, thankful that Shigure had more than one to cover up his own form. It was a sea foam green, not really my color, but could work efficiently for a toga party. Ooh! Mental post-it to myself: Have a toga party when I get back home. Wait, Becky....must explain.  
"Becky....What're you doing up this early?" I hopped over the mattress, barely grazing the still sleeping Shigure, just as Becky rested her hands on her hips.  
"I should be asking you the same thing..." Man she resembled my mother when she was mad! And I didn't even sneak out past curfew this time. Of course it didn't help that I was covered in nothing but a sheet and in a bed with an equally naked man. Yuki was quickly by Becky's side. He was the one who had tried to stop her, i'm guessing.  
"It's funny you should mention that....it's a great story...really..." I was getting nowhere with this. I should might as well lie and say that we were abducted by aliens.  
"Son of preacher man! What happened to you, Dusty?!" Ah, maybe I had a chance out of this one after all. I wasn't worried or nothing. My mother had put me on birth control since I grew out of a training bra. But it's a little weird when you're best friend walks in on a very big accident. She began checking out every wound I had sprouted the night before. Damn, I was hoping to forget my incident with Akito had never happened. "Did he do this?" She pointed to Shigure's still frame. Oh no, Becky, he did SO much more....gah! Stop that, Dusty!! This is NO time to be acting like a giddy preteen swooning over some incredibly cute guy.  
"No! Heaven's no! Becky be rational for a moment."  
"Rational?! You want me to be rational?! You were a virgin yesterday!!" Ouch. She had a point there though. I WAS a virgin twenty fours hours ago. There was a long moan and both of us glanced down at Shigure.  
"Yukiiiii turn the sun down and turn off the television. I don't feel like a drama movie this early in the morning..."  
"Drama?!", Both me and Becky yelled. He came back to reality and sat up straight in bed, suddenly putting all the puzzle pieces together.  
"Becky, it's no big deal. Really. I'm fine." Her long raven hair floated about her in a wild manner. I said something wrong.  
"Dammit Dusty!!" Yep, REALLY wrong. "You slept with him!!" Something in me snapped. I was tired of all the damn interrogations. I'm not some three year old that everyone has to babysit! I know that this whole sex thing was a mistake! I know i'm in a country i've never visited! I know that i've haven't even known this damn family for a week and yet they've become a huge piece of me! I know this!  
"Yes! I did! So what?! It's my damn life, Becky! Butt out!! It's none of your business who I sleep with or what my reasons are!!" Her face became paler than usual and I automatically regretted what I had said. Becky was just looking out for me and I had just told her to butt out. Big slap in the face in the friendship dictionary.  
"You're absolutely right...See you back at the hotel." I watched my best friend leave out of the room, Yuki slowly sliding the door shut behind her. A famous person, obviously not me, once said that there is a fine line between stupidity and bravery. Well, I crossed that line. But i'd rather take stupidity any day of the week. It was so much more funnier that way. And everyone needs to laugh. It's the way to find true love. Or so i've seen on cable. I sat back on the bed, running my hands through my oddly lengthy hair. There was a light brush on my shoulder and I remembered that I wasn't alone. I was pressed against his body for comfort in a tight hug. Was this what they called love? I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed, only to be blinded by smoke and and covered in fur. No, no it wasn't love.  
"Nooooo....," I whined. And i'm not much of a whiner. But hey, mistakes were made and now I was paying for them. I rolled over to the other side of the bed, grabbing my clothes and quickly getting dressed. He was back to normal just as I was tossing my hair into a less than neat bun. "This was a mistake....a big, big mistake." I threw the sheet I had previously been wearing at his naked physique.  
"What? But I didn't turn into a dog last night. Unless...that is...you'd prefer it if I were a dog."  
"What? No! I don't know why you didn't turn last night. But you were drunk and I was....well I wasn't...but still.." His tied the ends of the sheet together and pushed his way next to me.  
"Wait a second, you were sober the whole time?" Now I felt bad. It started out as a way to see another side of the man, but I hadn't expected to get laid that night.  
"Kinda. I mean, I had a few drinks, but I spit the rest of them out." He was shocked. Hell, I would be too if a woman took advantage of me. But he had been a jerk the days before last night and he deserved it.....right? "I don't maybe because you let your walls down or something. But it was a mistake, so no worries." I smiled and began the long limp home. He grabbed my arm right before I made it to the door. Part of me was satisfied that I had clawed Akito and scored in the same night. The other part felt bad for using Shigure like I had. And the rest, well the rest just hurt. I didn't think my first time could be so painful.  
"Wait. I didn't protect you. Is that why you're leaving?" He was dead serious too. I hadn't given the idea any thought until then. Sabrina's man hadn't helped her out either and she placed a curse on the household. He was SO lucky I was out of my finding other religions stage. And that I didn't have a voodoo priestess around. THEN he'd be sorry. Double cursed. How'd you like that hot shot?  
"No, Shigure. I'm leaving because you don't care." I was slowly gaining more courage than I needed. Fine line, people, very fine line. "I am head over heels for you and you stick up for the guy who almost killed me without even blinking. To you, i'm just a good time, right?" He said nothing. Way wrong answer!! "I got it. Crystal clear. You don't care about me. I understand that now. You don't care about anything do you? You thought that maybe I could break the curse somehow? I probably could've....who knows. And just FYI : I'll have much better lays in America..." What? I'm a woman now. It's practically the law to throw in a stinging comment after the end of something like that. I could've been angry at the fact that he didn't rush to my aid, fists flying and wisking me off my feet. But then again, he DID stop Akito from nearly bringing an early death on. But I was wanting the fists flying scenario.  
  
I walked into the hotel room, half expecting the silence that I was received with. And there was Becky, neatly folding her clothing and setting them in her suitcase. I plopped on the bed, debating whether I should start a casual conversation and gradually go into our previous argument or just head straight into the problem with angers blaring and nails unsheathed.  
"You better start packing. Our flight leaves pretty early in the morning." Okay, well thank you Becky. You chose for me. We go with casual conversation then. I was hoping to get the griping over with so I could sleep the rest of summer vacation away. Wait, in the morning?! I rushed back to the outside world, which more than likely angered Becky on a whole new level that I wasn't aware it existed.  
  
I knocked on the door repeatedly, wishing out loud that Yuki would answer and not Shigure. It would be kinda akward after sleeping with him and then saying i'd have better lays in the future. Maybe I had a guardian angel like John Travolta in 'Micheal'. If that were the case, I would've slept with the angel instead of Shigure.  
"Dusty?" Dammit. It was Shigure. I looked up towards the sky, physically restraining myself from flipping off the heavens. Me and that angel were going to have a nice little chat when I got back home. Home. That's what I was here for.  
"I'm leaving in the morning. I came to say goodbye to everyone." From the corner of my eye, I could see Yuki peek out from the corner of the hallway. This was going to hurt in a few minutes.  
"Well then goodbye." Ouch. This was going to hurt right now. Tears began to poke their ugly little heads out and threatened to shed. He went to close the door when I suddenly panicked and stuck my foot in to stop it. Thank you 'Law and Order' detectives for teaching me that small number.  
"That's it?" No friggin way! I wasn't leaving to another country without some romantic confession or with him period. I came way too far for that.  
"You were expecting a warmer goodbye after our tiny confrontation?" Good point. But yes, yes I was. Call me selfish but, okay don't call me selfish. I'm sensitive when it comes to referring me to Ebenezer Scrooge. I mean, let's face it. I'm FAR from being a greedy, stingy old man who let the love of his life walk out on him. I am a giving,caring young woman who is ABOUT to let the love of her life walk out on her. Big difference, kids.  
  
"It was out of anger!! Geez! Besides, I don't see you begging for forgiveness." That felt good. Too good. It was enough to get Martha Stewart off. I shudder to think of such possibilities. I watched Shigure cross his arms over his chest and pout. Wow, Meredith couldn't even pull off a stubborn pout like that.  
"I see. Fine." That was it. I could feel the sake burn through me from last night and balled my fists up. I wasn't going to hit the guy. But it sure would've felt good.  
"FINE!!" Mental post it: next time I get the urge to k.o. someone, I better act upon it. I stormed off the Sohma territory, ready to sock a male within a twenty mile radius. As I left, I could Yuki plea desperately for Shigure to follow me. I wanted the writer to listen for once. Because in truth, I wanted that dramatic ending that starts out with a heated arguement and ends in a waterfall of kisses and heartfelt confessions. I received neither.  
  
The plane ride home wasn't much better either. I was placed next to Kimmi who not only snored like there was a donkey stuck in her throat, but also felt that it was necessary to comment on every single scene in the movie the plane was showing. Becky refused to talk to me and Frankie thought it safer to ride next to her rather than an angry female who had just lost her virginity and was sporting several injuries.  
"Look at the costumes they chose for this movie. They're horrible." My mother always taught me to avoid confrontations at any costs. In fact, she made me memorize a little poem to calm my nerves - Three, two, one, one, two, three. What the hell is bothering me? (A/N : Special thanks to the writers of 'Family Matters for that one!!)  
"It's 'Les Miserables' Kimmi. It's set during the French Revolution. The attire is perfectly fine for depicting the novel." I felt a little better showing off my knowledge of Liam Neeson's film choice and the French Revolution. Who knew I actually paid attention in class?  
"Ugh. They're horrid." Three, two...aw screw it.  
"Kimmi! It's the proper costume for that time period! Now shut your mouth and just watch the damn film!!" She simply smiled nervously and sat back in her chair. Jesus H. Christ! Did this girl ever get angry?! It was then that I noticed the guy in the next row chasing Frankie's form every time she got up with his eyes. I leaned over my arm rest, whispering so that my friend wouldn't beat me to a bloody pulp later.  
"Go talk to her. She's really cool with strangers. Her name's Frankie." He flashed a smile and I hastily covered my face with the nearest magazine, keeping a watchful eye on my handiwork. Within the hour, Frankie was moving over to the empty seat next to him. That was my cue to take my chance to talk to Becky. I plopped my rear on the cushion, ditching the magazine that did so much more than inform me of the latest political scandal.  
"Go away." Becky's tone was threatening, a predatoral warning to the female that had betrayed the pack. But I was going back with my tail between my legs. Ugh! This is no time to bring up dogs!!  
"Would you just hear me out, Beck?"  
"Thirty seconds." Wow, she must've cooled off since we last spoke. The last time I had tried making up with her, she only gave me twenty seconds.  
"I didn't mean what I said. I don't want you to butt out of my life. I mean, you're my best friend. It's kinda hard to keep you out of it." She tried her best to keep the tough bitchy attitude up, but failed miserably. She smiled brightly and I thought I could see tears in the dim light.  
"Really?"  
"Well duh." She hugged me quickly. Becky was never one to openly show emotions.  
"I'm so glad you found someone though, Dusty. He's cute, smart, funny and he seems to really be into you." I sunk down in the chair.  
"Yeah. About that. I ruined any chances of a relationship." I don't remeber the words Becky said. I could feel the giant WHAP of a magazine grazing the top of my head.  
"Dusty!!" I felt bad. Not because Becky has always rode my ass, complaining that I need to find someone and the moment a potential someone comes along, I let my temper het the best of me. But I also felt bad at the fact that I wanted Shigure to be that someone. Really bad. 


	9. Bill, There Is Something Strange Afoot A...

And so, the plot thickens. You're going to have to excuse the title of this chapter. Unfortunally, my best friend's infatuation with Keanu Reeves led me to watch one of his movies for her sake. And well, the results ended with me titling a chapter after a rather cheesy comment that had me laughing....and is still making me laugh.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Or is it bogus journey? It's excellent adventure right? I get so confused with Bill and Ted.  
  
**Easily Amused: Bill, Something Strange Is Afoot At The Circle K**  
  
I hadn't exactly intended on mourning over my love loss, it just kinda happened. I came home, plopped my ass on the couch and counted down the hours with reruns of 'Friends' and made for cable movies. Not to mention that I was rudely attacked by Ben and Jerry. And i'm not talking about men here. I also isolated myself from the family. The sweet reunion lasted about a week, which consisted of repeated trips to eccentric resturaunts, and musical outings. After that, I sent myself to my room, without doing anything to deserve it. I'd come down for dinner and maybe for a family movie but they were short appearances and I rarely talked. I was beginning to worry myself after that. Even when there wasn't anything to talk about at the table, i'd manage to dig up some odd topic of conversation. But I hardly did _that_ after my escapade in Japan. It was maybe two weeks after being back in New Orleans that I overheard a little confabulation between my best friend and my mother. Momma had obviously called Becky when my lovesick condition worsened.  
I turned over in my bed, listening to Becky's rapid steps up the stairs to my bedroom. Granted, I could've at least dressed for her arrival, but I didn't feel like doing that. Come to think of it, a shower would've worked too. The door slammed open and I covered myself with the comforter as if I was caught sleeping with yet another man.  
"Dusty! How are you this fine day?" I rubbed my eyes and lifted myself from the unbearably soft mattress.  
"It's day time?" My dark curtains were closed to block out any sunlight and I had to squint to make out Becky's outline. She just seemed to mesh with the bleak shadows. The curtains were suddenly thrown open and I found myself going into the light that everyone is warned to stay away from.  
"Beck!!"  
"You need to get out of bed." I crawled back underneath the covers, hoping Becky would catch the hint.  
"You're not my therapist." I could now feel Becky tugging at the edge of my blanket. She just didn't know when she was beat.  
"You need to stop moping over him and get out of bed. And take a shower. You reek." Ah, the gift of friendship. Every girl should have a best friend that tells you when you smell like yesterday's garbage. I sat up at the mention of 'him' and let my soiled hair fall over my face. I hated to admit it, but I felt like crap and probably looked like it as well.  
"It has nothing to do with him." Who was I kidding? Of course I was moping around because of Shigure. It sucks to be rejected like that and he was no exception.  
"Prove it." I almost went cockeyed when Becky stuck out my body wash and a small bottle of stolen hotel shampoo/conditioner. How dare she! Hotels work hard to provide their little shampoos and bars of soaps and complimentary mints! Mental post it- hide my stash of stolen hotel products before Becky finds them. I grabbed the bath materials from her hand and headed towards my bathroom. It was time to move on and stop stinking.  
About an hour later, I returned downstairs only to find out that Becky had lost her patience with my overdue shower and left when her mother called her about some college replying to her application. I was a tidbit outraged that she just left for something as stupid has her future, but hey, life's tough like that. It's even more tougher when your mother hands you a shopping list and sends you to fetch a week's worth of groceries. Uh- huh. So there WAS an alternative plan to bringing Becky here today. How sneaky of you mother. I reluctantly took the wretched slip of paper and headed out to the local supermarket followed by an unplanned adventure to the local Circle K. Maybe treat myself to a squishie or those delightful little pepperoni pockets.  
After little debate, I chose the convienence store over the supermarket. A squishie and a doughnut were so much more tempting than milk, eggs, bread, kiwi, and a twelve pack of pop. Oh, and how could I forget the spaghetti sauce? Silly me. New Orleans would fall apart if Mom didn't have Spaghetti Tuesdays. However, the Circle K was eerily quiet. Too quiet for my tastebuds. Not really. I still managed a bear claw and a cherry slushie. And, lucky me, I didn't get a brain freeze after being parted with my wonderful slushie for a whole week. Odd? Yes I am! I was in and out of the grocery store in approximately fifteen minutes, not that I was counting or anything. I hastily loaded up the small Pinto I received from Nana and Pops. I loved my grandparents, but they needed better tastes in cars. I was surprised the chuck wagon on wheels made it home in the summer heat but was even more surprised to see a sleek, black corvette sitting in front of our house. I grabbed the four large paper bags, dropping nothing I might add, and shoved the door open with my rear. I knew that body part was good for more than flaunting.  
"Poppet!!" Ick. Another childhood name. Why couldn't parents just call me 'Dusty' like it was printed on my birth certificate? But I knew the voice. That deep, excited voice was the one that gave me my Yankee roots. It was my father. I was bombarded by a tight hug and noticed my mother shrugging her version of an apology at the kitchen table. Fred. That was my father's name. Fred Monroe. I was granted my mother's maiden name as my last name. But if I still had Mr. Eckers, my biology teacher who could never get my name, first or last, right, then I would gladly have accepted Monroe as my birthright.  
"Dad? What are you doing here?" Most daughters would be delighted to see their father. But I never saw him to begin with, why start showing up now? Hell, he even missed my graduation. My day of salvation and freedom.  
"Well, i'm glad you asked that..." He held a firm grip on my shoulders, which was starting to freak me out a little. I should've trusted my Circle K instincts and stayed at the grocery store longer. Maybe then Fred would've given up on me. In fact, I would have appreciated it even more if he took all his fatherly morals and shoved them straight up his candy a-  
"Button!!" Oh no. Oh please no. I can't handle a family get together right now. I watched my Nana and Pops scatter from the kitchen and welcome me with kisses and endless hugs that could suck the air right out of you. And it did.  
While everyone sat down in the living room and greeted Meredith with compliments and the occasional pinch on the cheek, I slipped into the kitchen with my mother. Meredith was still young. I could teach her how to maneuver out of those so called loving gestures with easy excuse techniques later. Right now though, I needed a heart to heart talk with my mom.  
"What in God's name made you invite HIM!?" She stopped stirring her meal and glanced up at me. Man, this woman has the patience of a saint. If only her saintliness hadn't been brought on by inviting my father to dinner.  
"He's your father, Dusty. He has certain rights." Ooh, the big guns. I knew when my mother was being serious, for she would bring in the governement and laws and whatnot. But I was hotter than Cajun shrimp at the moment.  
"I am technically an adult! His rights ended on June 20 of last summer when I turned 18!!" She shook the spoon at me, almost dotting my t- shirt with spaghetti sauce.  
"Enough Dusty! He is trying to earn a second chance with you! At least hear what he has to say!" I was bitter. Incredibly bitter. Bitter enough to take this little date to Dr. Phil.  
The dinner was basically quiet except for a rude comment here and there and the witty repsonses from Nana. I tapped my fingernails on the oak table, wrapping my long noodles around my fork and suddenly finding Meredith's rendition of spaghetti more amusing than this supper.  
"So, Fred, what brings you to New Orleans? Last I heard, you were in India." My father swallowed his large chunk of garlic bread.  
"Well, i'm glad you asked that Monica. My reappearance has to do with Dusty." Nana frowned when he spoke her formal name but the smile was pasted back on when he mentioned my name. I,however, almost choked on a crouton when he said my name. Fred wiped his mouth and placed his napkin by his plate, turning his body just right as to see me when he spoke. "I thought that you and I could spend more time together. Your mom told me that you have a love for Japan." Well that was close to the truth. The love part was right. And I guess it happened in Japan. Sure. Continue. "My latest assignment is destined to that country and I thought that maybe you would like to go." Shock drifted out of my body and I found myself nodding in agreement. "Good! Then it's settled. We leave in the morning."  
  
The full impact of what I had agreed on didn't hit me until later that night when my mother was cleaning Meredith up for bed. Usually, I would be at Becky's house, sliding down the wood floors of her hallway in a white button up shirt and my tighty whiteys. Of course, my true intention was to slide by Jett's room while his door was open. And sure, i'd end up as a permanent fixture on the hallway end closet. But it was a lot better than going to Japan with a man I hardly knew. Well I knew him. But I didn't want to. I watched my mom wrestle with Meredith and the petite pink pajamas she refused to wear.  
"It's unfair Momma! I didn't know what I was nodding to!" She finally managed to button the top button. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Meredith was becoming more and more like me everyday. If I were two years old and the cutest little bugger that ever walked the Earth's crust then I wouldn't be caught dead in pink ruffled pajamas either.  
"Dusty, you're bitter with the man for no reason. Just give him a chance and put a little love in your heart." She suddenly perked up at the mentioning of a song title from the seventies. At least I think it was the seventies. I have no idea of the year, I just know it's older than me.  
"Please don't." She stood up and wrapped a tanned arm around my shoulder.  
"Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand. Put a little love in your heart." This is ridiculous.  
"Mom....I did the soup kitchen thing last year. That's helpin' out."  
"You see it's getting late, Please don't hesitate. Put a little love in your heart."  
"It's not even ten thirty. And there's plenty of love here!!"  
"And the world would be a better place."  
"I'm outta here." I ran into my room and locked the door behind me.I wasn't going to have another run in like that. It was then that reality hit me like a thungerbolt. Actually I bumped my head on the corner of my dresser when I went to pick up Beaker, but I had an epiphany nonetheless. This second chance was given to me for a reason. It was more than likely that Fred, I mean Father, I mean Dad, would let me pick the hotel. I could go back to the Americana and retrace my steps to Shigure and apologize. No, scratch that. Have HIM apologize. No, scratch that too. Just kiss and make up. Loneliness was getting to me at a rapid speed. I laid my head back, hoping that Beaker wouldn't pee on the bed I intended to sleep on that night, and let my eyes drift to sleep.  
I don't exactly remember when Fred..um..Dad woke me up. I just know that I ended up on the plane. Which is a plus in my book. And before I knew it, I was back in Japan. Back in Japan. Who would've thought? And sure enough, the professional photographer let me pick the hotel, which I called out Hotel Americana in a heartbeat. The rooms were slightly larger and I was allowed room service. Becky preferred take out over a stingy bellboy any day of the week. It wasn't until later that I learned I was to attend a social gathering the next night. I was to go find myself an "elegant' gown, which isn't in my vocabulary. I was brought up in jeans and t-shirts and you were lucky if, like Meredith and her pajamas, you could wrestle me into a nice dress. But never, I mean never, would I be caught in an elegant dress. I didn't even wear a dress for prom! Actually, it's a funny story really. I went as a pimp and.....enough said. The point is, i'm not an elegant lady. But I went shopping regardless.  
It sucks to let your mind wander aimlessly and let your legs lead you to where they want to go. And mine took me to the store, Ayame. Of all places, legs. You chose this place. The place of business for a very dear friend of the man i'm royally pissed at right now. I paused in front of the doors, not sure if this was the right place for me to find an evening gown. Damn Fred, I mean...forget it. I swallowed my strength and entered the store, praying to Buddah, or whomever was listening that I wouldn't find Shigure in there.  
Within an hour, I was leaving the store with a very nice dress Ayame just happened to have. He told me it was 'perfect for breaking hearts and then some'. I didn't read into it. I draped the covered clothing over my shoulder and raced down the street. Hopefully, my father had ordered some kind of food. Airplane food just doesn't do it for me. However, just as I neared the pearly doors, I noticed my shoelace had come untied. Now this is highly unusual, for my shoes are either double knotted or laceless. I see no point in confining my feet to cheap leather. Besides, monkeys don't have to wear shoes and we supposedly evolved from them. If I have to wear shoes then I want every primate in every zoo to wear them also. Mental post it: Put shoes on a monkey first chance I get. A shadow fell upon me and I found myself looking up at the most handsome man i've seen in a long time. Dirty blonde hair, gelled neatly into some sophisticated spikes, gorgeous blue eyes, and a smile (equipped with perfect dimples) that would send Marlon Brando into a heated frenzy.  
"Well ello there." Oh my freaking jellyfish! He was British! I could've fainted right there. I mean, that's my weakness. You hand me any man from Europe, well, except Germans or Swiss, or somewhere like that, and my knees go weak from their accent. I always told my mom ' Don't send me to Europe cause i'll come back pregnant.' Not really, but i'd do naughty, naughty things. And this man would be no exception. "Are you alright?" I quickly escaped my shoelaces and stood up.  
"Huh?" He smiled once more, producing a giddish smirk from me.  
"Well I thought it would hurt to fall from Heaven like that." Cheesy? Never!! But I played it cool.  
"Do you always use cheesy pick up lines on every girl you find tying her shoes?" He looked down and I noted that he was wearing a dress shirt and slacks. I take that back, a Versace dress shirt. You speak my kind of Italian!!  
"No. I was just trying to get a pretty girl's attention. Elijah Johnson." He bent down and gently grabbed my hand, planting a light kiss on my skin. Heeheeheehee! "And you are?" He released my hand and continued his neat posture.  
"Dusty LaFayette." He raised his eyebrows and bowed.  
"You're Fred Monroe's daughter, are you not? I've hear so much about you and your antics. I must say, I never thought such a wonderful personality could belong to such a beautiful woman." Woman! Wow! This guy couldn't be much older than Shigure and yet he was calling me a woman. He should just go ahead and place a wedding ring on me and save himself the trouble of wooing.  
"Dusty?" Both Elijah and I turned to a violet eyed boy walking by. Yuki! I excused myself and went in for an embrace. And then I remembered the curse. Damn! Elijah was still watching me so I had to keep the whole smoke and nakedness thing on the downlow. I gave a white girl handshake that consisted of fifteen hand movements.  
"How ya doin?" He rubbed the back of his head, probably wondering what I was doing back so soon.  
"I thought you went back to America." Oh dear. "Maybe Shigure will stop moping around now." Oh bigger de- wait. Moping? 


	10. Does It Taste Like Chicken?

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused - Does It Taste Like Chicken?  
**  
"Hey, Yuki.....let's keep our little reunion on the down-low, okay?" The poor kid knew exactly what I meant and nodded before saying his goodbyes. Elijah was still waiting for my return, which I felt a bit bad for. It's not everyday that s super hunky Brit comes walktzing up to me and hits on me. Course, it wasn't everyday that a hot Japanese man came up to me and asked me to stay in his house, provide medical attention when needed, buy me a small wardrobe, kiss me, and send my heart into a rapid speed just by looking at me either. Stop it Dusty. Shigure is a thing of the past.  
You remember the little cricket from 'Pinnocchio'? My mom always told me that he was Pinnocchio's conscience, metaphorically speaking. Course, I was four at the time and had little or no experience with 'metaphors'. As far as I was concerned, a metaphor was the newest installment to the Power Rangers. Anyway, it stuck with me. And now, of all times, my little Jimini Cricket decided to pop his nosey head into my business and remind me that what I considered the past had only been a good three weeks. Mental post- it: Squash my conscience cricket. I scampered back to Elijah, only to have him check his watch and announce that he had to leave. Damn that cricket!!  
I entered the room to be almost blasted out by Dean Martin's smooth voice. And there was my father, in a robe three sizes too small for him, dancing in front of the bedroom mirror, shaving. I stood there in shock, trying to remember if the elderly couple next to us were hard of hearing. If not, then they would be by the end of the night.  
"Dad!! Put something on!! You'll cause the birds to explode or something!!" Was that possible? I've heard rice does it, so why not? Or was it heartburn tablets? Either way, it was a cheap way of occupying the next best thing to KFC. He smiled at me, and took a drag of a cigarette. Aw hell naw! Dancing like an idiot in MY hotel room was one thing but you don't smoke when you're daughter is allgergic to the damn tar sticks. I rushed over and pulled the nicotine out of his mouth and threw it in the small trashcan by the dresser. I then opened the patio window up to wipe out the smoke. Then I grabbed for the fire extinguisher when a small inferno popped up in the trashcan full of tissues and paper cups. This was going to be one long vacation.  
  
The next morning was little to almost not exciting. We had a grapefruit each, complete with a half cherry on top and some toast. We then ventured out to a small museum that was holding an exhibit of what I like to call freak art. You know, flowers eating puppies or dead men clawing at your door. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could paint or sculpt or even create anything of the sorts. But the whole thought of a decaying man who once loved me pawing on my doorstep led me to conjure up to ideas in my head : That it was slightly hilarious to have a man period at my door begging for my mercy. And then the other part slightly horrified me. Call me crazy, but a walking corpse only happened in movies like 'Night of the Living Dead' where everyone except the hero dies. And I doubt I would be the hero. I'd probably be the one who mooned one of the flesh eaters and ended up having a dead cop eat me for public disturbance. It could happen! I don't remember every hearing in that movie that they didn't abide by the law. Their brains still functioned, they just needed to eat some more. Mmmm. Brains. Breakfast of champions.  
At lunch time, we munched at a small cafe that actually held Italian food. Italian in Japan. I was amazed too. The whole time my father talked of a new girlfriend or something, I was paying more attention to a magazine I purchased in the hotel. As he moved on, I read my horoscope silently. 'Gemini : the twins.' Great, there's two of me. My family would love that. 'Geminis are curious, intellectual, quick-witted, talkative, friendly, and have superb communication skills. ' Well, i'd give this personality thingy five points. They were almost on the money. Now the intellectual and friendly parts were a bit overboard. 'Horoscope for today: An ominous cloud will pass over you.' Damn. And to think I was having a sunny day to begin with.  
  
The party was a complete success. Almost. It all started out as a success. My dress, I hate to admit, looked amazing. Ayame definetly knew his dresses. My father introduced me to a petite redhead that spoke very little. Not very little English. She just hardly spoke at all. Well son of a Frank Sinatra. This was just my luck. But I felt bad for her and tried my best to create interesting conversation.  
"So the turtle says to the beetle 'I don't know man, but I was exhausted afterwards!'" She gave a small laugh but didn't respond to it. This bewildered me. I mean, that joke always got em talking.  
"Dusty!!" I arched my neck around a very cheeky fellow. Don't know what cheeky means? Well ever see a fat man bend over and split his pants? Well what do you see? Bingo! I finally found the voice I was looking for and it just so happened to be the blonde cutie from the day before. Yep, the Brit that could put Prince William to shame, Elijah Johnson. Well, he couldn't put Prince William to shame. No one will ever be cuter than that piece of royal prime rib, but Elijah came so close, it was eerie. He grabbed for my hand and I quickly yanked at Patricia, the small redhead, along with me. Hell, I had no Becky so it might as well be this girl. Besides, she looked like she needed someone like me to introduce her to the world of perversion and hormones. What a wonderful world it is, Patricia. "I want you to meet someone!" Great. My little blonde beauty was going to show me the rich and famous of Japan. Now THERE'S a good show idea!! 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous : Japan Edition'. We finally reached a man with his back to us in a full black ensemble. Hm. He had a cute butt from the angle I was glancing from.  
"Dusty, I want you to meet Shigure Sohma." Shigure twirled around and I found myself repeating a string of choice words in my mind. Course, the look of shock pasted on his face was priceless. I motioned towards on of the caterers for another one of those tall champagne glasses and mouthed 'fill it up'. "Shigure is one of the top writers in Japan, a very prestigious title indeed. Oh, I almost completely forgot, Shigure, this is Dusty LaFayette. One of the most charming females and beautiful, might I add, that could grace Japan with her presence." I downed my champagne and waved it in the air. Where was that blasted man with the alcohol?! Shigure extended his hand and kissed the top of mine. Oh for the love of Elmo. Don't do this. I glared down at him, barely smiling.  
"Mr. Johnson, you do me wrong. You forget other good company." I moved out of Patricia's way so that she could step forward. The poor girl looked as if she were about to faint.I knew how she felt. I was like that at my first Aerosmith concert. Of course, I was eight and Steven Tyler was old enough to be my father, but he was still dreamy in my 'Cryin' eyes. I quickly excused myself and picked up the long hem of the cobalt gown I bought. I neared the balcony that rested over the party giver's pool. It was a nice pool. The kind that was built for a Playboy Bunny but ended up in sixty year old billionaire's backyard.  
"I wondered why Yuki was acting strange when he came home. Now I know." The voice was familiar but I didn't want to be bothered by him right now.  
"You know nothing." Wow. I actually sounded like a bitter ex wife. I wonder if my mom sounded like this when my dad told her he had cheated on her. I rested my head on my palm and dangled my feet over the edge of the balcony. I wasn't too far up and either the bushes or the pool would break my fall.  
"Um..that's a nice dress." He was trying. I'd give him that much.  
"It gives me a wedgie." That was truth enough. It may have been a ball gown meant for a princess but I was merely a Cinderella that wore the wrong undies for the wrong occasion. His footsteps were nearing behind me but I was too bust focusing on the slight tingle on my shoulder. As I turned, I found a bajillion little eyes staring back at me, taunting me with his eight legs and tiny fangs. "Getitoffgetifoffgetitoff!!" I swiped at my bare shoulder and screamed bloody murder as I plunged feet first in to the Playboy pool. Sure, I was going to get soaked, but the decibles reached by my yelp was enough to give the damn spider a sure heart attack. Stupid bugger.  
"Dusty!! Hold on!!" There was another splash beside me. What did Shigure think he was? A superhero? I swam up to the surface trying to find his dark form. And there he was, face down inthe water. Oh no. I didn't like the guy at the moment but I didn't want him dead! I swam over to him, well, actually I was swimming in a pool of material. I finally reached him and pushed him over the edge onto his back, following him on my knees.  
"Shigure?! Come on! Do you hear me?!" I pounded on his chest. Did I really need to do CPR? Eh, it was worth a try. I leaned down and placed my mouth on his, suddenly feeling a tight grip around my waist, holding me in place.  
"My hero!" His eyes fluttered and a wistful smile was glued upon his lips. However, the action caught me off guard and I fell back into the pool, taking him along with me of course. All the moping, the sadness, the stinkiness, disappeared along with the ice cream pounds I had accumulated during that time. I WAS the original 31 flavors. I sputtered up water when I returned to the surface, swiping a huge chunk of hair out of my face. As soon as Shigure was standing as well, I pulled my fist back and swung hard. My target was his cheek but I managed his eye. Good. I'd leave a shiner. "What was that for?!" I wiped my running masacara from my soaked face.  
"Everything! For ever talking to me. For ever inviting me to stay. For ever kissing me!! Take your pick!!" He opened his mouth to speak and I flew at him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him but more than anything, I wanted to pound him. We ended up in the shallow end of the pool, with me on top and his black tuxedo shirt in my hands.  
"Dusty!" My father's voice released me of my rage. I finally realized just how dumb Shigure and I probably looked. Oh man, this was going down as number one in my embarrassing moments book. Two guards grabbed me by my elbows, tearing me off the writer. I practically collapsed in their arms. I couldn't help it. I know, I say it alot. But...why? He HAD to kiss me, didn't he? He wanted to see me hurt in every possible way and then some. So I cried. I cried for the first time in three weeks.  
"I'm done. I'm done with it all." Patricia met me at the brim of her father's pool. I wouldn't find out until later that her sixty year old father was billionaire pool owner. She wrapped a towel around my shoulders and ushered me into the pool house to dry off. I was surprised. She hadn't moved much if not at all since I met her and now she was like a Becky to me.  
"I'm not going to ask what you and Mr. Sohma went through together, i'm just going to congradulate you." I peered up at her, considering I was sitting down and she was covering me with cotton towels. She was nice.  
"What?"  
"It's not every day that I meet someone who takes so much out of their time to introduce me to her friends. Mr. Johnson seems very smitten with you, as does Mr. Sohma. I can only hope that someday someone will like me like that." Oh Patricia. You're blind honey. Blind and utterly innocent. I picked up my hand from the peach towel and cringed.  
"I broke a nail. There goes my good looks." She smiled and therefore I smiled. I nudged her arm a bit and motioned for the back door. "Come on. Let's go grab a burger. I KNOW there's gotta be a burger place in Japan, somewhere." My stomach gurgled in agreement. I patted it, comforting my little demon child. Yes, I hated the rubber snails and the Ritz crackers covered in fish babies. How horrible. Somewhere in some little pond is a grieving fish, weeping for fifty bajillion babies that were lost to a snooty Frenchman who thought he could make a living my selling them as food. At least wait until they're grown, man!! But I hadn't tried the caviar. I heard it tasted like jelly. Impossible. Everyone knows that foreign food always....ALWAYS taste like chicken. In the end, everything does. It's like the law. 


	11. The Godfather' Is The Man's Bible

You love me! You really love me!! Well, you like the story more....I understand.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. I don't own 'The Godfather' either. Otherwise i'd be very very rich.  
  
Easily Amused : 'The Godfather' Is The Man's Bible  
  
Women always say that men are pigs. Which in every right they are. But have you ever seen an heiress to a crock load of money shove an entire hamburger down her throat? It's scary really. I think Patricia just unhinged her jaw and swallowed it. Has she never tasted a burger before? I gained fifty pounds from the things as a kid. What? You don't honestly think that twelve on my 112 pounds are from my chest alone, do you? Of course not. Like every American, I let the golden arch and the tempting offer to 'have it my way' take over my senses. Oh well. Fast food would never be the same after Patricia though. The conversation we had was even more entertaining. Can you believe that she had never seen 'Pirates of the Carribean'?  
"So anyway, Jack Sparrow steals the ship and lets Will Turner know that his father was a pirate." Patricia gawked at me with her round brown eyes.  
"And then what?" I drowned a French Fry in a puddle of ketchup, pretending the little Belgian potato was Shigure. Yep, that's right. French Fries are not French at all. They're Belgian. Just some food for thought, no pun intended.  
"I don't really know. My neighbors closed the curtains before I could finish the movie. And my mom won't let us rent it because of Johnny Depp." Don't get me wrong, my mother thinks Johnny Depp is the hottest thing that ever walked on two legs. But Meredith is terrifed of the man, all because of a little run in with scissors and me telling her that if she didn't behave, we would name her Edward and make the scissors a part of her body. I guess I should've waited until before she had seen 'Edward Scissorhands'. We stepped outside as soon as I finished my meal, considering that Patricia had inhaled hers in a matter of seconds, sipping at our soft drinks. We were both still dressed in evening gowns, although i'll admit I probably looked worse out of the two of us. We turned the corner to find an electronics store, television set lining its window. All the screens were blue, too. It was almost creepy. And then I noticed the fly sitting so patiently. But I couldn't tell if it was on the t.v. screen or the glass window. Temptation was becoming unbearable.  
"Well tooty fruity! I SO remember this scene from 'The Ring'. Where the fly came off the screen and such?" A tiny smirk played at my lips as I watched Patricia's almond eyes widened. "You know, the movie originated in Japan. This could most definetly be a sequel..." She held her palm out and began to outstretch her arm towards the tiny insect. And in this little motion, I took her hand and slammed it against the glass, smushing the flying pest. Patricia glared at me and wiped her hand on her dress.  
"Gross...." Hmm.....guess it was on the glass after all. But Patricia laughed afterwards so it was all peachy.  
We departed after that when a long limo picked her up after circling the block on her command. I wish I had that kind of power over a vehicle. If I told my Pinto to circle around the block a few times, it would probably leave me there stranded, as if taunting me. I walked alone down the desolate street, relocating the ice cubes in my cup. I had made it to the corner when I finally heard the footsteps following me. Great. Just my friggin luck. I paused before the corner and threw my cup of ice at the strangers, running for my life. But take in mind that I had no idea where I was now and was instantly regretting my refusal to Patricia's ride. Curse my fear of long vehicles!! I twirled around, my right leg up in the praying mantis postion. Of course I had no idea what good the praying mantis move would do. The extent of my martial art skills went as far as Bruce Lee movies and that's about it, with the exception of the one hour class in first grade. My mother had enrolled me but I was kicked out after punching my instructor in the groin. He deserved it. I mean the manhad called me a tempermental brat and wasn't even good looking for that matter. After I told my mother why I had come home early, she enrolled me in a different course : self defense. But my sexless (we could never tell if it was a man with boobs or a woman with an Adam's Apple) teacher never taught the importance of the praying mantis.  
"Back it up!! I'm American and I know where your soft spot is." They edged closer, before a familiar voice shouted from behind, binding my arms with his own.  
"Dusty, please, don't fight with us on this." Hatori??!! What in the name of Angelina Jolie was he kidnapping me for?! But the way I figured it, I need not suffer in silence while I can still kick, scream, moan, whimper, and complain. And I did just that. I thrusted my torn panthosed legs out, screamed at the top of my lungs everytime Hatori's hand left my mouth. "I knew it!! You were out to get me the whole time!! Help!!!"  
"Shut her up already, Hatori!!" Kyou? And to think I was going to help the little jerk. So help me, if I ever get loose out of Dr. Satan's grip....  
An hour later, I was sitting a freezer, chilled to the bone. There were four guys present - Ayame, Hatori, Yuki, and Kyou, and none of them had granted me a jacket of any kind for my bare shoulders. Some gentlemen they are. Not that I didn't feel the least but satisfied. In the time since they had taken me hostage, I had managed to leave several scrapes and bruises on all of them and kicked one guy in the groin. And what's with the damn freezer anyway?! Geez, I feel like i'm in a mafia movie. Except there's no dashing young Al Pacino or a string of Italian jibberish. Men are like that though. They believe that every answer in life lies within 'The Godfather'. Want to shut an American up? Take them to a freezer and threaten them. Angry with a rival gang member? Send them a fish. What do you do when your brother in law beats your sister senseless? Kick his ass in the middle of the street, of course. It's like the men's Bible. But I doubted that they wanted to kill me. Torture me with jackets? Possibly. But not kill me. I ran my hands up my shoulders, glaring at every single being with the piece of anatomy that God didn't bestow upon. Mental post it : Thank God later on for refusing me a penis and granting me a chest.  
"W-w-w-what do you w-w-w-want?" My teeth created their own little samba. All I needed now was a good Latin singer and we were game! Hatori spoke first, receiving the occasional nod of agreement from the other jackasses.  
"The information you gathered on the curse." I quirked an eyebrow. What, did they think I had it stored on a disk and carried it everywhere I went? I was in a strapless gown and my purse was about the size of a pillbox! Where exactly would I store such an object?! I take that back, there were SOME places I could hide the piece of plastic.  
"You brought me here for THAT?! I thought I would at least get a warning not to lay on Shigure like that ever again. Instead, you want info?!" All eyes went wide. I was going to have to watch my mouth from now on.  
"What did you do to my dear Shigure!?" Not this again. I could tell I was going to have to have a long conversation with this man. Sure, i'd break his heart by telling him I slept with the writer first, but you live, you learn, and you get drunk afterwards. But I kept my cool in this situation. Not that I had choice with the tempature.  
"I didn't kill him if that's what you mean... I simply gave him a shiner." The other three, minus Yuki, ran to the aid to their dear friend. Men made me so sick. I could see it now : I would have to become a love and move to Switzerland to fall in love. Or was that musical in Sweden? Yuki kneeled before me handing me the jacket he was wearing.  
"You should apologize to him, you know." I wrapped myself in the warm clothing and gave Yuki a half glare.  
"Yeah, right. Like he deserves an apology more than me." He sighed, a small puff of smoke escaping his mouth.  
"I didn't mean it that way. You deserve an apology as well. It's just..." I finally gave in. I knew what he meant and he was absolutely right. I was hopelessly in love with Shigure. I shrugged off the coat and headed over to the Sohma house.  
  
I was so near that I could see the light of the front door pouring in onto the front land of the Sohma household. I stopped, fearing that maybe I was being too brash in coming here like this. I mean, I had just attacked the man and was now coming to say sorry? What was my excuse? PMS? It wouldn't work in jail and it certainly wouldn't work here. Besides, I tried that once when I punched this kid for saying chickens looked better than me. Note that I hadn't quite reached puberty and that PMS was scientifically proven wrong in court. I took one more step before I heard it. The laughter of a woman. And the woman wasn't Tohru. No, this was a professional flirting technique she was using, something Tohru had not accomplished yet. I ducked behind the bushes as two people came around the corner.  
"You're so funny Shigure!! I can't believe a woman hasn't picked you up yet!!" Ick. Her laugh sounded like the mating call of a giraffe. I knew that nature show was good for more than its cute host. And he wasn't THAT funny!! Plus, a woman DID pick him up!! ME!!! Wait, what am I saying? I peeked over the rough foliage to see that she was blonde, and a bit taller than Shigure. Course, it could've been the sleek high heels. And her dress was so....tight. Could she even breathe?!  
"Well i'll just have to be careful that I don't let you pick me up, huh?" Ah! I toppled over in the bush, silencing them for a moment. Get yourself together before you get yourself caught, Dusty!!  
"Well it's been fun, but i'm afraid I have to leave your good company." She pressed her fingers upon her lips and kissed them before pressing them to Shigure's. Oh that was it!! Gah! Snap out of it girlfriend!! I hid deeper in the shade that the trees and bushes provided as she walked out of the entrance.  
"You can come out now, Dusty." You've GOT to be kidding me!! I kept to the ground even though my identity had been revealed.  
"How did you know?" I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. I hope he didn't enjoy that woman's company.  
"Call it intuition." He was now hovering over me and I finally noticed just how bad the shiner was turning out. I must've been so angry that I didn't...."You're a mess. Let's get you cleaned up." Was he brain dead or something? I socked him a good one only hours before.  
"ATOOT! ATOOT!" I looked up at him, strands of chestnut hair working free of their pins. And you know what I saw? Worry. Worry on a man's face that I had just bruised.  
"And you're catching a bug. Come on." He bent down and placed a hand under my elbow and one around my waist, slowly picking me up. We walked that way until we entered his house.  
  
I had watched his every move, from when he placed me on the couch, to when he fixed some hot tea, and to when he sat in front of me with a hot cup and a wet cloth. And then, like it was natural for him to do so, he ever so gently began to rub off the smeared makeup from my face. I sighed and took a drink from the cup.  
"You don't have to do this." He REALLY didn't have to do this. I felt bad enough as it was. Plus, this closeness couldn't be good for a woman's health.  
"I'm the reason you're like this. Now hold still!" I couldn't help but fidget underneath his touch. It was making me nervous.  
"Sorry." There. I had said it. And it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.  
"Don't be. It's not like I can help my manly magnetism!" Who did he think he was?! I shoved his hand away and stood up, crossing my arms over my chest.  
"Yeah right! I avoided you up until this point!" He also stood, his body towering over mine. So he was going to pull the intemidating stance was he? Not in my lifetime pal! I gave a slight huff of air and pulled the table over to where we stood, standing up on the hard wood so that I was even with his height.  
"Keyword: until."  
"Trust me. You're avoidable." A smirk played at his mouth and I gaped as he began to snicker.  
"Ms. Braum doesn't seem to think so." Gr!! He brought up the wench!! Alright then, you wanna play dirty? Well i'm not very dirty but i'll bring out the big guns if it'll shut you up! He glared daggers into him before creating a smile of my own.  
"Neither does Elijah." If I was capable of dancing without making a fool of myself, then I would. If there was one thing I had learned from Japan, it was the fact that the Japanese address you by your only if you have a close relationship. Shigure had only just met Ms. Braum so therefore he didn't consider her that close and used her last name. But the fact I used Elijah's first name....well, let's just say I could feel the blood boiling in Shigure. "As you heard earlier, he thinks the world of me." Now if that was true, I have no idea. But it sure sounded good, did it not? However, Shigure had the right deck of cards. He had played this game before. He IS older. Mental post it : Throw his age in his face later.  
"I bet you couldn't last one week with that Elijah Johnson!"  
"I bet you couldn't last a week with that Ms. Braum!!" I was on my tippy toes now and had my fists balled. We were so close by now that our noses were touching.  
"Fine then, bet's on. What do each of us get if we lose?" I had to think about this one. The possibilities were endless and the perverted ones ranged even furthur. Yet, the answer was so clear.  
"If I lose, you can have anything your heart desires. Whether it be me as your maid, your dishwasher, or to have me....leave you...forever." I hated to even think the last part. "And if I win, you HAVE to tell me EXACTLY how you feel about me."  
"Deal." And so it was on. I had one week to prove to myself that Elijah was my fantasy and I was his. Or at least enough to last a week. The guidelines went as followed: dates only. No sexual escapades. Dates had to be confirmed by Ms. Braum or Elijah, which meant that neither of us could ask them out. And it had to be in the presence of either me or Shigure. Basically, everywhere me and Elijah went, Shigure and his tramp were there also. But I couldn't help but have that damn cricket/conscience whispering that all this was a bad idea. But do I ever listen to him? Of course not! Let's plow! 


	12. Manic Monday

Whoa, I just went over my last chapter and realized how many mistakes were made. Won't do that again, I can promise you all that much. Also, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or the song 'Manic Monday'.  
  
**Easily Amused: Manic Monday**  
  
I am venturing into the unknown. Into a place that a woman has never set foot in before: my father's hotel room. And even now, as I squeeze in through the tiny crack in the door, the shrill strings of the 'Psycho' theme ring through my ears. Before me is a pile of clothes, some clean and the others I feared stood no chance to begin with. And there was a smell....oh dear.....I can't handle this. I grabbed his laptop and choked down a gag as I went back to my own room.  
I tapped my fingernails impatiently against the black plastic in hopes that Becky was either getting up to check her email or checking her email before she went to bed. I could never tell when that girl slept, or if she even slept at all. But I was desperate for conversation with someone who understood my situation in its whole. Well, almost. Nobody actually knew there was a curse. Before I knew it, Becky's screen name appeared on the computer and she was immediately typing away.  
  
**thegr8gummibear:** So how's the trip going? Oh! Wait! I promised Tyler that i'd start typing in computer slang!!  
  
**DustyStrikesBack:** Tyler?  
  
**thegr8gummibear:** yeah! i met him at an art show!! he's friggin gorgeous!!  
  
**DustyStrikesBack:** I worry about you...trip's fine. I guess.  
  
**thegr8gummibear:** you guess?  
  
**DustyStrikesBack:** me and Shigure have a bet going.  
  
**thegr8gummibear:** so you 2 didn't make up? so sowwie!!  
  
**DustyStrikesBack:** beck! come on!! i had intended a normal conversation here!!  
  
The rest of the conversation consisted of mostly Tyler and how he was 'hot' and a 'perfect specimen of the male species'. And I thought I was bad. I shut the laptop off and laid down on the soft pillow. I changed into my pajamas a long time before and had almost hoped that my father would be up, worrying about me like normal dads do. But no. I watched as the bolted down clock turned into a brightly lit four o'clock. Damn Hatori and his little posse. Damn Shigure. And damn my stupid southern temper!! I turned on my side and slid underneath the thin blanket. Tomorrow would be the start of a contest that I might not be able to win.

* * *

**Monday**  
I pulled up my hair in a tight ponytail and headed outside, only to be blocked by a thin, hairy arm. It was my dad. I sighed and straightened out my already wrinkled tank top. I knew I was in for it. It was the only reasonable explaination for having him stop me like he did. Yet, he was smiling down at me.  
"Here," he handed me a yellow raincoat that would suck me up for sure if I put it on.. "It's raining like cats and dogs out there." I stared at him for a moment before swinging an arm through one of the sleeves.  
"Thanks for not waiting up last night." I was actually pretty grateful that he hadn't. I didn't feel like a lecture at the time. He leaned against the door frame as I pulled the hood over my head.  
"Well I was up for a good hour or two before Patricia called and told me that you were on your way. And after that little run in at the party, I figured you had walked over to the Sohma house to deliver an apology." His look was stern at the last comment. I must've embarrassed him. He was showing off for so many people and I must have created such a scene. There's a slight warmness floating in my stomach. Could that be remorse? I gave a small burp, covering my mouth as the light sound escaped my lips. Nope, not remorse. Just a coke trying to make its presence known. I nodded and hastily walked through the door.  
He was right. It WAS raining cats and dogs. I pulled the raincoat tighter around me and began running to a small jazz cafe that Elijah supposedly hung out at. It was rumored to be his favorite hot spot in Japan. I'd have to thank Yuki for that little bit of info later. With the help of a pocket translator I had snatched from my father's belongings, I managed to track down the small juke joint. It was musty and made me sneeze a few times, thanks to the second hand smoke. But no Elijah. This was going to take some serious detective work. Detective work that my simple mind could not comprehend. I turned away from the hangout and made a mad dash around the corner, only to run into someone.  
"Dusty?! Are you alright?" Not just someone, Elijah! Halleleujah! Did I even spell that right? I should've paid more attention in church instead of watching the choir boys make faces at each other. I wonder if you could go to hell for that. I balanced myself with his strong arm and smiled up at him.  
"Peachy keen jellybean!" Now, how do I get this man to ask me out on a date? Simple flirting gestures? No, too forward. Outward begging? Now that might work. As I stood there comtemplating my first move, Elijah began the first few words that secured my winning the bet.  
"So...what are you doing tonight?" Joy!!  
  
My sneaker clad feet pitter patted against the many puddles that were scattered among Japan. I was so proud of myself that I couldn't contain the excitement. Usually, this is where Becky would come in, sit down, and let me cheer in pure bliss. But Becky was not here, and Patricia was in Greece. So, that left one other option : gloat. And gloat I would do, at Shigure's house, in front of him, grinning with glee. For I, Dusty Lynn LaFayette, would be the reigning champion in the bet of Shigure v. Dusty. What would my victory song be? I was thinking something along the lines of 'We Are The Champions'. Yes, that would do nicely. I banged on the front door with all my might until Shigure opened it with an amused look on his face. And I guess that I was in an amusing state, with my oversized raincoat and drenched sneakers. But I wouldn't be intemidated!! I crossed my arms over my chest, a sly smirk paving its way onto my face.  
"I just came here to inform you that Elijah and I will be dining at the -"  
"At the CCR Diner. Yes, Ms. Braum and Mr. Johnson seem to be business associates and there is an informal meeting at the Diner tonight." My face dropped and I could imagine myself pouting.  
"How did....when did....but....aw dammit!!" I kicked an some invisible rock and shoved my hands into my pockets. Sometimes I could be so mature....only not.  
  
The dinner meeting was less than thrilling. We started out with some foreign food that if you tilted it just right with your fork, it resembled Richard Nixon. The rest of the meal I shoved off to the side. Once, Elijah asked if everything was okay. All I could do was glare at Shigure from across the table, smile politely, and nod. After dinner was when the date actually took off. Elijah had made it his goal in life to see to my safety and walk me home, only to be followed by Ms. Braum and Shigure. Elijah glanced back at the chatting couple .  
"So what is it with you and Shigure? I mean, the other night at the party and even now, I feel some hostility." Yeah, karma likes to bite you in the ass. I shrugged.  
"Nothing much really. Used to date the guy and he just can't seem to get over me." Actually, I lost my virginity to him only after knowing him for a week and practically fell in love with him and is now on a jealous rampage to prove that I am more desirable than he and that I could have any guy, including you, Mr. Elijah. I could feel Shigure's normally soft eyes turn green with envy. It wasn't' until I had finished my tiny story that Shigure's head popped in between Elijah and me, seperating me from the Brit a good ten feet.  
"I had to stick around, though. She kept crying about how I was her first love. I couldn't do that to her, just leave her hanging." I gritted my teeth and patted his shoulder, adding in a pinch for good measure.  
"You're so funny, Shigure. But you're ignoring your DATE!!" I jabbed him in the ribs on the word 'date' before grabbing Elijah's hand to get a bigger lead.  
"Honestly Shigure, what did you ever see in that girl?" Sage Braum's screechy voice was loud enough for me to hear and it cut into me like a heated knife through butter. Who was she to judge Shigure's love interests? But the comment hurt nonetheless. I peered over my shoulder and tried my best to hide that hurt from Shigure. I could hear mumbling but didn't question it. We stopped by the Hotel Americana to say our goodbyes to Elijah and Sage Braum. When Elijah asked if I was going inside with them, I simply gave a wave of my hand and told him that I was meeting my father for coffee outside. Shigure, however, knew exactly what I was up to.  
"So which is it?" I fixed the hem of my skirt so that I was showing less leg. This guy was pushing me to the edge and there was no telling what I would do to him.  
"Huh?"  
"Well, you either wanted to get rid of him, which would make you lose the bet. Or, you just wanted to be alone with me. So, which is it?" I rolled my eyes and tapped my foot.  
"Neither." He smiled that infamous impish smirk.  
"Oh really?" Son of a blow hole!! What did he take me for? But, a little harmless flirting couldn't hurt. I stepped up to him so that I was mere inches from his mouth, my fingernail tracing the curve of his jawline.  
  
"You are absolutely right. You have that certain something that ignites a flame of a certain emotion. Do you know what that emotion is?" My lips were barely pressing against his by now and I could feel him trembling from the closeness.  
"Um...love?" I paused. Why did he say love? "Or is it raw sexual energy?" Ruin the moment why don't you, Shigure? I pressed my mouth over his, enticing him with a light kiss. A simple kiss, followed by a simple slap to the face.  
"Pure....raw...relentless...anger and frustration." I gave a small wink and did the Jessica Rabbit rump shake as I entered the lobby. Right before the rotating door swung to let me in, I swore I heard Shigure's voice break the recording of string instruments in the lobby.  
"What a woman...." Did my ears serve me right? Or was I just delusional with the taste of Nixon look alike food? Either way, it brought a smile to my face. Perhaps there was hope for Shigure and I. A small, tiny glimpse of hope. But that small glimpse was enough to make me dream sweet dreams in the hours of sleep.  
I pulled open the door to my bedroom and slumped down on the bed. I was in a heaven that only allowed girlish, giddy moments like this to pass through. I couldn't resist temptation any longer and strutted over to the window to catch a flash of my main man leaving only to see him standing there, underneath my window. His grin grew wide at my shock and motioned for me to come back down. I could see no harm in it. I peeked outside, and, to my astonishment, stole a glance at Sage Braum and my father swapping spit. Very disgusting to say the least. I shoved myself back into my room and slid open the patio door. I was only on the fourth floor. Plus, every room had a balcony. All I had to do was use my tree climbing skills and then shimmie down the gutter. It was like peanut butter and jelly.  
"Dusty! What are you doing?!" I had no idea what I was doing. One thing was for certain, though : my tree climbing memories all ended with me crying in one way or another; broken ankle, broken arm, cut knee, scraped elbow, a concussion....I needed some better memories. Without knowing it, I had made my way to the ground. "What the hell were you thinking?! You could've fallen!!" Shigure shook me by the shoulders. Shaking me wouldn't make me gain any common sense, Shigure. If anything, you're making me lose more.  
"I would've taken the elevator but I ran into some trouble..." I had to tell him that the object of his gambling was kissing my father in the hallway.  
"What kind of trouble?" I tugged at the lace on my shirt. I was suddenly cold. Very cold. And more than anything, I just wanted to go home with the talented writer instead of going back inside the hotel.  
"Oh you know....the usual.." Yeah right. Like my father shoving his tounge down some tramp's throat is the usual. It gives me the shudders just thinking about it. Ick. Shigure quirked an eyebrow at me."Ms. Braum...well.....she was inside...making out with my dad." And then he laughed. He laughed!! What was so funny about something like that?! He cupped my cheek and beamed at my innocence.  
"You're so cute when you're jealous. Really..." Aw....he thought I was- wait a minute!! I'm NOT jealous!! I'm telling the truth here!!  
"I'm seri-"  
"Is this about the comment she made earlier?" I tried to remember the spiteful statement.  
"Huh? No....I actu-" He began to rub the apple of my cheek with his thumb.  
"Do you know how I answered her?" I shook my head. Don't tell me. I can't hear this right now. We were supposed to have a bet going. "I told her that you were the most intelligent, funny, witty girl that can bring the best and worst out of me. I told her that everytime i'm around you, my heart beats ten times faster and I crave nothing more than your attention only. I told her that I was in love with you." Ohhhh St. Pinnocchio....why did you have to go and say something like that? I closed my silver eyes, trying my best to push back the tears of happiness. It all seemed to good to be true. And then it hit. It WAS too good to be true. Whether I confessed my love too meant nothing. He would still turn into a mutt everytime I wanted to cuddle and anything intimate? Forget that. He would be cursed until he stood up to Akito. I backed away from him.  
"Then tell him. Stand up to Akito and tell him what you just told me." He stood there in shock before shaking his head in confusion.  
"Akito has nothing to do with us." I choked on the sob forming in my throat.  
"You will still be cursed until you get rid of the dark force....tell Akito." His hands were once again crushing my shoulders.  
"No! Didn't you learn anything from Hatori?!" I turned back towards the entrance. "Nothing good will come from telling him!!"  
"I'm sorry you feel that way..." Besides, how could he tell Ms. Braum all of that in a short amount of time anyway? 


	13. Shot By The Little Freak With Wings

Um, in case anyone has been checking in on my other stories, then i'm sorry to say that I won't be finishing them until I finish this one. 'Easily Amused' has become my number one priority.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused : Shot By The Little Freak With Wings  
**  
**Tuesday**  
  
Argh! Where is it?! Where is it?! I frantically toss the hotel mattress to the side in hopes of finding my lost object. I guess by now you're wondering just what exactly it is that i'm looking for. This is so embarrassing. I mean, it's understandable if I was trashing my hotel room because I lost my birth control or a family heirloom but in this case it was my signed Aerosmith cd. Sure, it's a material object, but come on people!! It's AEROSMITH!! Only the best band in the entire world and i'm sure Japan would happily agree with me. I wouldn't be so freaked if it wasn't signed, but low and behold, it is!! When Joe Perry, one of the greatest guitarists in the world ( and he IS because Rolling Stone said so) is old and decrepid and can barely move those gifted fingers, I will still have his signature on his band's cd that signifies his glory. I finally spot the marvelous cd underneath my ruined evening dress from the other night. How in Angelina Jolie's name did it get under there? I must be getting careless in my old age. I finally manage to take a good look at my destroyed room. It could almost pass for the location of a metal band's last party. Mental post-it: Clean this mess up when I get back.

* * *

I suppose that now you're wondering exactly where it is i'm headed? In all honesty, I have no on earthly idea. It started out as a calm walk to cleanse my mind of last night's actions. For one thing, I couldn't believe that I had stood up to Shigure like I had when I wanted nothing more than to take him to my room. I also couldn't believe that my father was interested in the cheap trick Sage Braum. It was almost too much stress for me to handle, which is quite odd. Anyone who knows me personally will tell you I work best under stress. In school, I would think up the greatest ideas for a project right when it was assigned to the class, only to actually start the project two days before it was due. I loved the pressure. Sometimes you would even catch me finishing it up during my lunch period. Now, my journalism teacher would speak on the contrary and call it procrastination. Which, in all fairness, it was. But I never failed my projects. Never. With the exception of my sophomore English teacher who, in my defense, hated my guts. She would sit there and berate me for my laziness, saying I wouldn't amount to anything more than a fast food cook. Imagine the look of surprise when I made a 98 on the final. Fast food cook my ass.  
I guess that's a negative part of my personality. I strive to prove people wrong, just for my benefit. I did it to Shigure last night and have always done it to my friends and family. Not that I haven't been proven wrong myself, because we all know that i'm wrong on more than one occasion. And I also know that to prove my elders wrong makes them look bad. I pause for a moment and take in my surroundings. How ironic, i'm back at the beginning. I gawk at the adult novelty store in front of me. How did I end up here? This is where Shigure and I had first run into each other. Such poetic justice to look upon this store as a non virgin. I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jeans and lean back on the heels of my feet. It wasn't until a few passerbys had crossed my path that I noticed I wasn't the only one looking at the pervert store. A few feet beside me stood the wonderful Shigure. Maybe I should apologize for the night before. Before I could open my mouth to even yelp out a 'hi', he was a few inches away from my body, a sad look gracing his face. I don't like this look. Not one bit.  
"Dusty..." No! He's going to tell me that everything he said last night was a lie. Or better yet, he's going to tell me that everything between us was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake!! It wasn't!! It was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I regret none of it!! Well, except the hit and run by Akito. I think I could lived the rest of my life just fine without that little incident. So, without listening to him, I ran. And tripped. And fell right on my rear. Shigure was instantly by my side but I wouldn't let him say what he had to say. I just couldn't deal with all this right now. So I ran again. I'm beginning to sense a pattern here.

* * *

I walked by my lonesome for another hour or so until I could hear my name being yelled out by a female. It was probably Sage Braum, stalking me so that she could brag over her triumph with my father. I hate to break it to her, but my father's not the biggest prize in the world. Now Hugh Hefner, there's a prize. Sure he's old, but he's filthy rich and can still bed young women. Plus he has a bitchin smoking jacket. Or Mel Gibson. He's Austrailian AND good with kids!! Both are better prizes than a middle aged photographer that barely has enough time for his only daughter. I turned my head to see Patricia's short bob bouncing wildly amidst her beaming smile.  
"Dusty!! I'm SO glad I finally found you!!" She had been searching for me? How endearing. And I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to her about everything that's been going on.  
"Back from Greece so soon?" She panted as she came up to me. She must not be used to much physical activity. She nodded hastily, trying to catch her breath.  
"Routine trip. My father is trying to marry me off to a rich man and there happened to be a suitor willing to meet me." Marrying off? Geez, I feel like i'm living in the Middle Ages.  
"Did you get you some booty?" I meant it to sound like a joke but I ended up sounding too interested instead. She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head and laughing.  
"I went by your hotel room and discovered it destroyed. I was worried so I asked Shigure where I could find you." She suddenly lowered her head in shame. " I know I shouldn't have went to him, but I was honestly worried about your well being." I couldn't help but grin. She reminded me so much of the first time I met Becky. We were in the fifth grade and this snotty brat of a thing made fun of her for wearing black. I saw no harm in her color preference so I pulled the chick's hair and pushed her. The next day the snob brought her big brother into the picture. Granted, I had taken many....MANY self defense classes by then and I practically made the brother beg for his life. But there was Becky, in the corner, worrying about me.  
"It's alright. Shigure has nothing but my best interest, so I guess it's just instict to go to him." I rubbed my behind, remembering the recent encounter with the author. Patricia was all over me in a minute. I could only wonder where she kept the spotlight used for interrogations.  
"I knew it!!"  
"Knew what?" I mean really, I was drawing a complete blank with this one.  
"You've been hit by Cupid's arrow!! It's SO obvious!!" Had the goat cheese and wine gone to her head or something? Cupid?! It was time I filled her in on my rendition of Greek mythology.  
"Cupid was a little freak with wings who should've had the proper license to shoot those suckers. A freak with wings and that's it! He's nothing special. You can find just as many weirdos with fake wings at Mardi Gras." You would think she would be insulted. Instead, she smirked slyly and said her goodbyes, leaving me completely confused. Completely. What in McEnroe was her deal?! But she was right about one thing : I was feeling the love. Oh yes. Marvin Gaye was serenading my thoughts with his own personal soundtrack. Stupid little winged freak...

* * *

That night I sat on the balcony, thinking about how a visit with Jim would have been nice. But the security guard was on vacation and probably wouldn't be back until I had already left. I didn't want to leave, though. I wanted to stay right here in Japan. I could get used to the bathrooms and the language. Hell, I would even eat squid to stay here. I peered up at the night sky. Man it was gorgeous. It was like a huge glittery blanket. Hmm. Mental post-it : Spray my comforter with silver glitter. My mother and I used to sit on Nana's porch and make wishes on stars. Now that I think on it, it was incredibly silly. Nothing ever came true. If it had, then I must've been pretty out of it when I met Santa Clause, bought out Six Flags, went on a date with Big Bird, and guest starred on Jerry Springer. What? I was a strange child. I leaned over the railing to get a better look at the new guard. He was much older than Jim but smiled at everyone who came in and out. He looked like he could use some company. And a good cup of coffee. I glanced up at the starry blanket once more. One wish couldn't hurt, could it? I squeezed my eyes shut and smiled up at the sky. There. Wish done. I wrapped my baby blue robe around my body and headed to the elevator, carefully checking the hallways before I exited my room.  
I tapped my bare foot impatiently as I awaited the tiny beep to let me in. Damn my toes were stubby. They looked like the Kiebler elves had birthed me instead of my six foot nothing father. The gracious beep caused me to look away from my freakish body parts and I stepped in.  
"Well whaddya know..." My blood stopped flowing for a few seconds as I recognized Shigure's voice. I take back the whole not believing in wishing on stars thing. My wish had just come true. I pushed myself into the small corner as he pushed the emergency stop button. I wanted to rush into his arms like a fanatic Scarlett O'Hara to her Rhett Butler. But I was no Scarlett. I was more of an Eliza Doolittle with a twang rather than a Georgia peach with a sweet southern accent. He moved towards me, his dark eyes locked on my entire being. I stuck my foot out like Stewart on 'Mad TV' would always do to keep Shigure at a distance. There was no telling what I would do to him. I was like a rabid nun in a fraternity.  
"Back off pretty boy!! I have a leg and I know how to use it!!" Okay, that sounded more like a chicken campaign than a threat, but give me a break here. I used the gold beam inside the compartment as a perch. It didn't do much, just gave me a little more height over Shigure. His arms locked in beside me, making it impossible to get out of this now. And then it hit me. He was teasing me just like I had teased him yesterday. I shuddered underneath his gaze. It was giving me chills to be this close to him. "I...I mean it." His hands gripped my biceps, squeezing gently. "I'm quite dangerous when motivated." This caught his attention. But the lust was still clouding his eyes. I'm surprised mine weren't shady in the same way.  
"And what exactly motivates you?" I gulped as he removed a chestnut chunk from my face before wrapping his fingers around the back of my neck, entertwining flesh with hair.  
"Oh...you know."  
"I'm not Buddah. Enlighten me..." He pressed his lips right underneath my ear. Oh boy. But I would not be so easily influenced. I brought the leg up again and gave a light push, my voice a loud hush.  
"Whoa! That is unwanted physical contact!!" We were in the same position as before in a second. Only this time, his eyes were bearing into my own silver ones, bracing me for what was to come next. His lips were barely brushing mine.  
"Is it now?" I shook my head before reaching his mouth with my own. I had had enough of this whole game. We finally parted, each of us a little out of breath from the exciting embrace. But he was back in front of me, whispering delicately into my neck. "Come home with me tonight."  
"Pardon?" I had heard him loud and clear but I wanted to make sure that this wasn't out of pure arousal. Because let's face it, arousal just doesn't get me hopping into a bed like a snap, crackle, and pop!  
"You heard me."  
"I'm not deaf. Just say it again." He sighed but I could feel a grin on my skin.  
"Come home with me tonight." Decisions, decisions. What is it that I want? My Nana would tell me to spit in one hand and want in the other and see which comes out fuller. Well, in the want hand was the idea of spending the night in Shigure's arms. I have my slut moments and this wasn't one of them. He wasn't some total stranger. And i'm sure there could be some pillow talk. In the spit hand was the idea of spending the night in a bed alone and end up talking to a seventy year old security guard. Well it's obvious which one was outwieghting the other. But there was still a nagging question in the back of my brain. Stupid cricket!!!  
"Why?" He sat there, in the curve of my neck, speechless. Was he thinking of a witty answer or something? It better not be degrading or anything or i'd be so pissed. Not just pissed but insulted as well.  
"Because I don't think I can stand another day without you by my side." Oh....that....was....aw!! Yes!! In all things involved with Kool- Aid!! Yes!! I strained my toe to hit the release button. I would have to get a few things, of course....  
  
Shorter than usual, but i'm tired.... 


	14. Family Is Satan's Fruitcake

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. It's a shame....really.  
  
**Easily Amused : Family Is Satan's Fruitcake**  
  
"I'll meet you over there." Those four words, plus a contraction, were probably the best words spoken from my mouth since the day I told the perverted college guy across the street to do the world a favor and fuck off. Granted the latter of the two wouldn't result in a punishment so harsh, that my first kiss was delayed by a week. If it hadn't been for that stupid cuss word, Johnny Martin would've taken me to the seventh grade dance and would've ultimately kissed me. But no. My mouth had to get the better of me. But these words were different. I felt no hatred or anger, but pure and delightful bliss.  
"Promise?" Shigure and I paused for a moment in front of the hotel.  
"Promise." I had never been so sure of anything else before in my life. In all honesty, I had no idea how we even made it to the lobby. But the moment caught up with us as a taxi pulled up for him. He regrettedly pulled his hand away from my own and stepped into the automobile. I sighed as the car sped off but as soon as I was out of sight range, I began to jump and down like a preteen on speed. You'd swear that I had never been touched by a man before. I raced back up to my room, throwing my robe and childish pajamas to the side and reaching for a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. As soon as I tossed on my jacket I turned to the door, only to have my father block my exit. Damn it all!! His smirk was making me sick by the minute, for I knew what he had planned. He thought that because I was in a hotel room he paid for, that that automatically made me his property.  
"Where ya going at this hour?" I dug my hands into the pockets of my jean jacket and shifted my weight. Please don't make me late. Please don't make me late. Please don't make me late. Or better yet, please go away. Please go away. Please go away.  
"Out. I couldn't sleep." He crossed his arms over his chest. Oh God, he knows!! Parents must be given that sixth sense at the hospital or something.  
"Ah. I hate it when that happens." What's this now? Was this some kind of trick or something? I know that he knows that I know what he doesn't want me to know so he's going to use what he knows to get back at what I know. No!!! "I saw Shigure in the hall awhile ago. He was giving back Sage's coat. She must've left it over at his house or something." Ah-ha!!! Wait, a minute. Just, rewind this horror flick for a moment. Did my ears just fail me (please let them have failed me), or did I hear right? Shigure was returning a jacket. My father continued. "Yeah, those two seem to be pretty chummy. Hey, didn't you have a thing for the writer?" I didn't exactly know how wide my mouth was, but I was pretty sure it was big enough to let a horse climb through.  
I just couldn't believe that my own flesh and blood had just made that kind of accusation. Family's like that though. I'm beginning to wonder if family is Satan's fruitcake. You don't actually want them but they manage to pop up unexpectedly. And sometimes, they're really nasty, but you end up keeping it around until it's old. Or you get a good one and you eat it all up before you ever get the chance to share it. But this, this was even too harsh for my own brain to comprehend. How could....no. Shigure wouldn't do that to me. Right?  
"No." My father quirked a fuzzy eyebrow at me.  
"Oh? So you didn't have a thing for him?" I shook my head, releasing a few angry tendrils of tawny hair.  
"I mean, no, Shigure wouldn't have done that." Who exactly was I trying to prove that to? I quickly pushed past him and ran towards the elevator, telling myself over and over that what he said wasn't true. Sure, it would answer the question of why he was there in the first place. But he said all those things to me and he had to have meant it. He just had to.  
  
I reached the door of the Sohma house, only to have no one answer my loud knocks. This was odd, considering the fact that Shigure and I had just parted not even thirty minutes ago. Yes, I ran. I have this weird thing with foreign vehicles. Don't ask. I gasped as a cold hand wrapped itself around my mouth and pulled me into the brush. I could only pray that I hadn't fallen into the deadly hands of Akito. I could only handle so many injuries within a certain timespan. I struggled for a moment, answered with being held down. This guy was strong. Strong enough to control my sharp movements at least. Well, that scratches Akito. So then that leaves Hatori, Kyou, Yuki, or Ayame. So many possiblilities and yet none seemed to...  
"Shh....just hold still for a second." Shigure! I relaxed within his supposed death grip. He arched his neck over the bush and finally dragged me up off the ground. I tried to open my mouth to protest his strange ways of greeting women, but I was roughly pulled by the sleeve of my jacket towards the back of the house. Shigure...sweety....you're really cute and all but next time inform me when you want to incorporate James Bond into your sexual games. We rounded the corner and scurried into the Sohma house with a little less than a creak of the door.  
"Shigure!!" Tohru's voice echoed throughout the hall as the writer pushed me behind him, away from view. Several pairs of feet scrambled up beside her own, and I suddenly knew why he was hiding me from everyone. It's not very often he gets a few hours of privacy. "We were all worried when you disappeared! Is everything okay?" I almost felt guilty about this.  
  
"Actually, i'm a bit lightheaded. I think I just need to take a long nap." He motioned for me to move with him towards his bedroom. There were a few agreements from the rest of the clan and then there was silence. Home free!! That is, until my rump met the stout legs of a stranger. I proceeded to turn around at a quick pace so that my face wouldn't land in the middle of Shigure's back. Low and behold - Hatori. I could feel my cheeks turn about a bajillion shades of red before Shigure also turned around. "Hatori! What a pleasant surprise!! Didn't know you were here!" Hatori's face was stern but suddenly softened as he glanced down at me.  
"Just keep the noise down. And don't forget about your deadline, Shigure. Your poor editor might kill you or herself if you miss it." Well that was odd. I didn't get very much time to ponder Hatori's sudden kindness for Shigure's lips were already making a hasty trail down my neck while his hands fidgeted with my jacket.  
"I feel like i'm sixteen again." His voice was a bit muffled by my skin but I could hear him perfectly fine. We somehow managed to make it into his room.  
"It was only a three years ago for me.." He abruptly stopped the light pecks on the neck and furrowed his brow.  
"I thought you were 18." I smiled up at him, refusing to embrace him for fear of his curse. But oh how I wish I could.  
"Only until Friday night. " The kissing continued until I slipped on the edge of the blanket and landed smack dab on the mattress. How ironic. Shigure was hovering over me in an instant while I was trying my best to not laugh at my clumsiness. It wasn't until he rolled over and bumped his head on the wooden headboard that I burst into a fit of giggles. He was grinning as well, rubbing his head from the rude impact. I laid a delicate kiss on his noggin. It was too much for me. I pushed myself onto my side, never realizing just how small his bed actually was. I grabbed for something to pull myself up with as I descended off the mattress. Much to Shigure's dismay, it was his shirt that I grabbed. We both fell into a heap of disoriented clothing and bodies. I made a mad dash for the bed once more, only to have a long arm wrap around my waist and pull me back down to the floor.  
"I give up. If this where it's intended to happen then so be it." I could hear the aggrivation in his voice so I gave in, my body slowly sliding back down to the ground.  
  
**Wednesday  
** Sunrise is perhaps the best time of all. I hadn't touched the man next to me once unless it was with my mouth. Don't worry folks, I was never one for details. But not once did I trust myself to hug him or bring him closer to me because of the fact that he might turn into a slobbering mutt. Not that he didn't drool in his sleep, but at least he was human while doing it. I sighed and wrapped myself up into a tighter ball, away from the writer. I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him but the lingering thought of Akito stained my mind and just knowing that Shigure hadn't told him anything was unsettling. I rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, catching the glaring Akito at the end of the bed, holding a dagger that I could only guess was meant for me. I went to scream but I had already been struck by the great blade. Shigure....  
  
I woke up screaming his name. Sweat drenched my face and I feared that this was just the torture before actually dying. That there was someone even more cruel than Akito who would push me into a realm where i'd keep waking up in Shigure's arms and die by Akito's hand. It was still sunrise and amber rays began to warm my cold skin. No blood. It was all a dream. Just a horrible, horrible dream. I brought my sheet clad knees up to my chest and rested my head on the boney body parts. For the most part, I had woken up just like in my dream. I was regretting the fact that I hadn't embraced Shigure at all during the night. I felt a shift of weight on the mattress, yeah we somehow made it back up there, and figured that I caused Shigure to wake up. I shivered a little as his fingers graced my bare back. It wasn't a bad touch. It was comforting, just a bit shocking to my freezing body. His lips were now tracing the path he made with his fingers.  
"NOW tell me you'll have better lays in America." I laughed softly, a little surprised that he remembered my tempermental remark.  
"Don't get full of yourself..." He smiled against my shoulder before popping his head up.  
"So THERE'S the beauty mark I missed!" Strange. I didn't even remember telling him that he forgot the stupid thing in his portrait.  
Now would be a good time to be non allergic to cigarette smoke. In almost every movie, you'll find someone smoking in bed after a wild night of sex. It's practically the law that you have to smoke afterwards. I don't know why, though. I mean, no offense to smokers, but i'd rather wake up to the smell of pancakes or strawberries, not nicotine. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. But it felt right to light up about now. Shigure was rubbing smooth circles at the small of my back. A girl could get used to this. And then the light kisses on my shoulder returned. A girl could REALLY get used to this. But what was the point if we couldn't even hug each other? My eyes clouded over with unshed tears before I whimpered out loud.  
"Hey, what's wrong? I thought you wanted this." The tears fell freely. Man, I can be such a wuss sometimes. But I think I deserve some affection!!!  
"I diiiiiid." In case you're wondering, I cry like I was an extra for Lucille Ball. Except that I had no hunky Cuban, just a hot Japanese man who did wonders to a girl's reproductive system. Right. No details. Last thing I need is to tell my wonderful night to the world and end up in a sex scandal worthy of Bill Clinton, Pamela Anderson, or even Paris Hilton. Well okay, Paris' wasn't that scandalous. Even heiresses need their booty. Shigure tugged at my chin, trying to get me to look at him. Of course, I didn't give in that easily. What if he was even cuter with bed head? Then what?! It'd make my situation ten times worse is what!! I finally turned towards him.  
"I don't regret this, Dusty. From day one I wanted this to happen and now that it has, i'll do anything to keep it. You have no idea what you do to me." Sweet words, but I was still skeptical. You say this now, Shigure. But wait until I hit forty. Then everything goes downhill. Literally. My chest won't stay like this forever. I lowered my head, ashamed of my tears. But he picked it back up in one swift motion. "I mean it Dusty! Dammit, I love you!!" Oh....joy!!! If there was any point in my life that I was ever called bitchy or mean or stubborn or even remotely referred to as The Grinch, then it was this one moment that made my heart grow ten times bigger. It was ten times, right? I practically tackled the poor sap and climbed on top of him. Note that I had no perverted intentions whatsoever. I leaned down so that my hair showered us and lowered my lips so close to his that ....well....they were close.  
"I love you too!!!" It was meant to be a lusty, meaningful whisper. I so failed. But my chest felt tight and I thought that if I didn't yell it out, i'd burst. Yet I still couldn't embrace him...  
  
We parted at noon, for I knew that somewhere down line, Patricia might get worried and call for the F.B.I. or something. Notice I didn't mention my father. I was still pissed at what he said to me the night before. Okay, I was ROYALLY pissed. But my mood was higher than a stoner on April 20th. Don't doubt my knowledge of potheads, for I used to have a crush on one. Granted, I don't think he ever remembered my name, but I was young and naive. I climbed into the elevator, wrapping myself in the emotion I felt. But as I neared my room I feared the worst. For in front of me, stood two brute looking men. They were either here to kill me or protect me. But I had no idea what I needed protection for. Son of a fruitloop!! They were here to kill me then!! What the fudge did I ever do anyway? Except for vandalizing my principal's car, lusting after many men, threatening people in public, kicking the mayor's son in the groin....oh buffalo. They were here because of the college guy I cussed at when I was in seventh grade. Damn it all!! My father met me at the doorway, a simper permanently pasted on his face. I just wanted to smack it off.  
"After your little escapade with the writer last night, I thought it best if you remain under house arrest for the time being. At least until you fly back to New Orleans Saturday." What?!! My eyes widened as one man picked me up to put me in my room. I kicked and screamed, but to no avail. They closed the door behind them, leaving me to my isolation. Idiots!! They obviously don't know a popular rock climber when they see one. I ran to the patio door. All I had to do was shimmy down the rain gutter before and....two more men waved at me from the patio. Curses!!!! Uh-huh!!! I told you all that there was a reason I didn't like my kinfolk!! I told you!! But did you believe me?!! No! I knew he was dispicable!! I knew it!!! I plopped down on my bed. There had to be another way out of this....

A/N: Expect another chapter by tonight....hey, I was bored...


	15. I'm Not Seein' The Birdies Yet

I know I said it would be done last night, but my best friend called from Texas and once you get us talkin there's no shutting us up. Really sorry for the delay.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused: I'm Not Seein' The Birdies Yet**  
  
**Thursday  
**  
I pace around my room like a caged animal. No, I take that back. Like a ravenous, rabid tiger yearning for a taste of blood. My target: The door. See, the way I figure it, I can knock down the door and take out both guards. All the while, running to my beloved Shigure and then run away to India or Happy,Texas. Yeah, i'm not buying it either. But I will surely try the knocking the door down idea. I mean, i'm strong. I can beat up bad guys like they had just walked off the Batman set from the sixties. I calmly walk back to the patio door so that I have a good running start. Those are important, you know. I run towards the barrier with my goal in mind. SMACK!! My shoulder and skull make a dull impact with the door and I suddenly find myself moaning on the floor instead of sprinting triumphantly down the hallway.  
Have you ever seen a cartoon run into something and then fall over comically with teenie little birds flying in circles over their head? Yeah, I'm not seein' the birdies yet. All i'm getting are these bright, colorful spots and a blunt pain. Alllllright then. On to Plan B. Do I even have a Plan B? No, of course not. I know, I know. Smart people always come up with a backup plan, but I thought for sure that the stupid hotel door would come crashing down. How wrong I was. Mental post-it: Give Hotel Americana props for their sturdy doors.  
"My father is the one who pays you guys. The least you can do is let me see her!! Just for an hour!!" Hey I knew that voice. Patricia!!  
"I'm sorry Ms. Patricia. But Mr. Monroe has given us strict orders concerning Ms. LaFayette. She is not to receive any visitors." How rude!! What if I ordered room service? Then what?!  
"Do I look like any old visitor?! You will let me in at this instant or you will face losing your jobs!" Wow. Must be nice to have a father who has like, fifty bajillion dollars. I wish I had that much. Then maybe I wouldn't be locked up by my evil kinfolk. The guards must have accepted her scare tactic, for I soon heard the click of the door opening and soft footsteps scampering over the plush carpet. However, I was still groaning on the ground and holding my head. "Dusty?! Duuuuusty!!" I opened my eyes, trying my hardest to squeeze out the bright blobs and recognizing the double visions of Patricia. Ugh...  
"I didn't know you had a twin...." The bouncy redhead gawked at me for a moment before smiling and pulling me up from the floor.  
"How did you end up on the floor anyway, Dusty?" I pointed to the door and gave a glare worthy of Hitler himself. Patricia followed my heated gaze to my only way out, a small grin tugging at her mouth. She was trying not to laugh. "You thought you would break down the door? How ingenius." I rubbed at my noodle once more.  
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." And it had. I had seen silver screen hunks do it all the time. Granted, i'm not a silver screen hunk but I knew a girl who came within five feet of getting one's autograph. That makes us family, practically. I watched Patricia dig through her purse.  
"I brought some things for you to entertain yourself with. I still can't believe your father put you under house arrest. What did you do to deserve such a harsh punishment?" I began to dig through the bag of objects, praying that there was at least one movie with Orlando Bloom. I would be content for the rest of my vacation if I could lay eyes on the hunky Englishman for an hour and forty five minutes. I stopped my digging and gave my newly found friend a lop sided grin. The kind that you would get from Beavis. Or Butt-head. I'm not too picky.  
"I SO scored...."I sighed, noting that I was barracaded inside my hotel room instead of in bed with Shigure. Damn my morals. Who needs them anyway?! Certainly not me!! "Could you do me a favor and tell Shigure what has happened and that I can't meet him downtown for my birthday?" The two of us had talked about taking me out for the big one-nine and I graciously accepted the offer, not knowing what my father's intentions were. Patricia was giddy with exicitement. Geez, if I knew my pain would bring her this much pleasure...  
"I'll tell him what your father did, but I promise you that you will be out of here by tonight!" I quirked an eyebrow. She was crazier than I!! At least I had a goal. A goal that could've broken my shoulder, but a goal nonetheless. She carefully pulled out a violet pouch and handed it to me. "Inside there is a herb my grandmother uses to put my grandfather to sleep at night. See, he believes aliens exist and never sleeps; just so he can catach a glimpse of the beings. She slips this stuff into his tea and BOOM! He's out like a baby!" She winked at me, gathering up the things she had laid out. And I, well, I was astonished at my friend's slyness. Looks can obviously be deceiving.

* * *

The tea was a simple recipe my Nana had taught me at age three. I didn't catch on until I was twelve, though. See, Nana would teach me, i'd make it, and then spill it. My eye-foot coordination didn't develop until I was twelve. I sat four steaming cups on a tray and began to head out to the patio. The two men were laughing about some odd topic, but stood up to greet me when I slid open the door. Well, at least they were gentlemen.  
"I thought you guys might like some tea. Real Louisiana brew. Straight from the south." The guards thanked me and took the cups. I then set out to do the same act with the front door guys. They also snatched up the 'special brew'. Now it was just a matter of time.

* * *

Ah, behold the power of herbal drinks. I slipped past the napping guards, grabbing my coat in the hasty process, and ran out the door. Freedom!! I could hear Aretha Franklin bellowing the powerful lyrics in my head as I forced myself to edge closer and closer to the rotating door. Never has such a contraption looked so great!! But just as my version of the golden gates came into view, so did Sage Braum. All five foot ten inches of her plus heels. I tried stopping, really I did. But I couldn't, and smacked right into the hussy. Before I knew what was happening, two pairs of large arms wrapped themselves around my upper and lower body. Dammit Patricia!! Next time give me a time limit. Sage Braum smirked at me while picking herself up and dusting off the cheap excuse of material she wore.  
"Dusty!! I should've known!! Just came back from Shigure's. He sends his hellos!!" I grabbed onto the corner of a near hallway, computing what the woman had just said to me. Was she speculating that I would get jealous at that remark? Of course I wouldn't. I'm calm, i'm cool, i'm as tranquil as the morning sea, i'm........I am SO friggin furious!!!! Who am I kidding anyway? What gives her the right to burst in here, actually into me, and say that her and Shigure have a thing going on?! I'M the he asked to come home with! I'M the one he pursues night and day! I'M the one who spent the night with him!! I'M the one who woke up next to him!! And most of all, I'M the one he said he loves!! Take THAT Ms. 'I wear makeup like it was the last energy source on Earth'!!  
I somehow untangled myself from my appointed thugs and stormed over to the Jezebel. I knew that my hair was disheveled and my clothes a little more than wrinkled. But I was on fire, and there is nothing worse than a Cajun who feels like her territory is threatened. And she was basically wiping her feet on my welcome mat!! With a bellowing war cry, I lunged at her, taking her down with a luggage cart. My six foot nothing babysitters were on the scene quickly, pulling at my shirt collar. I came up, trying my best to remain cool. I could see now that I really had to work on my people skills.  
"He doesn't want you anymore Dusty! He's found something much, much better!!", she yelled after me. That's it!! I calmly strode up to her, my death glare set on kill.  
"What's better than me, Sage? Trash? Cause you have that part down perfectly." She snickered at my petty comment. I was tired of it. So what does someone do when they're tired of hearing something? Shut it up of course. And I did. With my right fist and a blow powerful enough to knock out a sumo wrestler. "Crash and burn biatch!!" I made sure she heard every single spit filled remark. I then let the guards take me back upstairs.

* * *

Friendship with the imposter Italians was inevitable after my little catfight. They laughed and complimented me all the way back to the hotel room and even dubbed me 'Firecracker'. I thought it a bit annoying at first but soon found a liking towards it. I guess it was better than 'kid'. They didn't really bother with names much. I learned that the big guy went by the name of Santino and the scrawny bald one was called Charlie. And after my little incident with Sage Braum, my father insisted they stay inside the room and never to accept a drink from me again. Which I partially agree with. I couldn't be trusted at this point. I was desperate. I might even try poisoning them if I had the resources.  
Even now, as I play Go Fish! with them, I can't help but wonder about my tiny problem of getting the hell out of dodge. I also ponder the fact if Santino is cheating. Because if he is...  
"Go Fish!!" What?! Impossible! I lean back in my chair, taking in the entire game. I suck on a candy cigarette, which I only received through my previous winnings.  
"Let me check your sleeves." Both men looked at each other before breaking out into a hysterical fit of manly giggles. Santino gawked at me, wiping away a small tear from the corner of his eye. I kid you not, sir.  
"You think i'm cheating?!" No, I think you're Count Chocula. Of course I do! His expression turned serious as he witnessed my never changing attitude. "I don't cheat!!"  
"I think you did, Santino." I leaned back in the sturdy chair, ready for any involuntary anger driven towards me. Why were men so particualr about cheating anyway?  
"I'm telling you I didn't cheat!!" His large palms swamped the table with force, causing the deck to move an inch to the right. I returned the gesture, not moving the deck nearly as much as Santino.  
"And i'm saying you did!!"  
"Brat!!"  
"Cheater!!"  
"Alright you two. Settle down." Charlie was in between me and the ogre who was supposed to be guarding me. I pointed at the large man defensively.  
"Well then tell Magilla Gorilla to admit it when he's been defeated!"  
  
"I didn't cheat!!!"

* * *

The night had ended with my father dismissing my guards, thank the Lord for that. But my torture was far from over. As soon as Santino and Charlie left the premises, my father waspicking up the phone, dialing my mother's number. Aw, hell no! You got yourself into this one, pal. Don't EVEN think of involving my mother. I shoved my hand down to disconnect him from my mother's voice. I'd be damned in my bowl of ashes if I was going to bring my mom into this. I knew how this maniac work. First, he'd tell her about my attitude. Duh, she already knows I have one. That's not a big surprise there. Then he'd say I was out of control. Which, on the contrary, is completely wrong. I'm not OUT of control, he just doesn't have ANY control. Then he'd go on and on about how I was a terrible influence on the people around me, Patricia and Elijah for example. He simply shrugged at my attempt to stop his punishment call and pulled out his cellphone. I hate modern technology. His deep voice was soon resonating through my hotel room.  
"Maggie, we have a problem." Maggie we have a problem. Original. "Dusty's attitude....right." Attitude:check. "She's outta control Maggie." Out of control: check. "And she's been a terrible influence on my investor's daughter." Check and double check. "And she's been sleeping around with a popular writer." Whoa! Hold the phone!! Where did THAT come from?! I quickly pounced on my bed and scrambled over to the hotel phone. My fingers were quicker than I thought.  
  
"Mom?"  
"Dusty?" Her voice was worried and I knew for a fact what she was worried over. She has warned me about the dangers of sex before I knew what a friggin tampon was. Trust me, the birds and the bees talk could've waited until the pictures on the back of the tampon box had been explained. "Young lady, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" Oh, this is ridiculous. I can understand why she's upset -"DUSTY?! Are you even listening?" Okay, she's hotter than authentic salsa in the bloodstream of a southern donkey.  
"Yes...but Momma...you have to listen to me...."  
"You went off and slept with someone you hardly know. And then expect me to smile upon something like that?"  
"Momma, it's not like that...." She wasn't backing down without a fight. I watched my father close his cellphone with a smirk riding upon his features.  
"What's this man's name? How old is he? Does he have a good job? Does he have any STD's?" Funny, she wonders about his job before diseases. I love you too, Ma.  
"Momma...his name is Shigure, he's 27, he owns his own house.."  
"27??!!" Maybe I should've left that part out. My father quietly shut the door behind him as my mother's screeching voice nearly deafened me. But I was certain of one thing and one thing only. This was far from over. This meant war, old man. Prepare to meet your match. 


	16. Dusty, Warrior Princess

Wow, I did not know I could invoke such hate for a certain parental figure. I'm even starting to fear for Dusty's father's life here!! Whoa...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.  
  
**Easily Amused: Dusty, Warrior Princess!**  
  
**Friday**  
  
Okay, three things people should know about my father that I didn't find out until I spent the summer of my freshman year with him in no particular order : 1) he hates modern music, ESPECIALLY when you turn the bass on full blast. B) He's allergic to spicey food. And 5) He lives to impress high society. Hey, I said in no particular order, did I not? Anyway, it has come to my attention that parental unit number 2 has initiated the rules of war. Now, i'm a self proclaimed fighter of love and peace. I sport the logo 'i'm a lover not a fighter' theory. But this was the last straw. I was up until the wee hours of the morning trying to convince my mother that Shigure wasn't an entirely bad guy. I failed to mention his pervertedness but she's my mother for cryin out loud! She can only handle so much at her age! She's already super pissed because of the fact that I now fall into the category of 'non virgin'. And don't repeat the remark about the age thing. I already have enough to worry about when I get home.  
As I was saying, my father crossed the line. He crossed the line by bringing parental unit number 1 into this situation when the poor woman had enough to worry about. I mean, her daughter's in an entirely different country and you call her to tell her she's lost her virginity?! Way harsh Psycho Dad! So, this only leaves two choices: I could make his life a living hell on my birthday. Or I could leave this all be and explain myself to Shigure and my mother when the time comes. Now what kind of person would I be if I just left this alone? Stupid. There's one.  
I haven't slept a wink since that phone call. Can you really blame me? My mother has lost all faith in me and i'm still under house arrest. Thus, preventing me from seeing Shigure for the time being. But that won't last long. See, underneath this innocent exterior is a raging beast that becomes unleashed at the sight of unfairness. Mix that with enough hormones to fuel a third world country and BAM! Dusty, Warrior Princess!!! Ahlilililililililili cough cough cough gag cough. Whoa, looks like my empowerment got the best of me. I am woman, hear me roar......woof. Okay, so maybe i'm the last person you'd find at a woman's liberation rally. But, I WILL get revenge. Like Mel Gibson type of payback.  
So, like any crazed lunatic under house arrest on her birthday, I retreated to the t.v. and turned it up on full blast. Note that even Japan has a MTV of the sort. And also note that 50 Cent just happened to be playing on the day my mother gave birth to me. Well, she actually gave birth at eleven p.m. and it's jusy now turning six in the morning, but still. I proceeded to jump on my bed at the beat of the infamous rap song, causing my bed to collide with the wall that just so happened to be next to my father's room.  
"Go, go,go, go, go, go, go shawty. It's your birffday. We gon party like it's your birffday. We gon sip Bacardi like it's your birffday-" A few door slams and thundering footsteps later...  
"DUSTY!!" I continued to jump on my bed. This was actually a good workout for me.  
"Yes, father dear?" That's right chikita, rub it in his face. Play the perfect daughter for now.  
"What in God's name are you doing?!" How dare he bring the Lord into this! I'm not religious myself but I know better than to do that to the Big Guy. At least i'm trying to keep my relationship with the heavenly being on a good note. Bad move Daddy dearest.  
"Now father, don't bring God into this. I'm sure Buddah would gladly come defend Him if need be. And the U.S. is trying to keep Japan on good terms."  
"Turn that racket OFF!!" The song has now changed to Robbie William's 'Rock D.J.' This song totally rocks.  
"Dad, it's my birthday. Or have you forgotten? The least you can do is let me celebrate with the great gift of music." I could hear him gritting his teeth from my perch on the bed. He left my room in a huff and I made sure I graced him with my musical abilities.  
"I don't wanna rock D.J. But you're making me feel so nice. When's it gonna stop D.J.? Cause you're keeping me up all night!!" Door slam. Whoo! He sounds mad! Huh, I wonder how many calories i'm burning...

* * *

By eleven in the morning, I was pretty sure my father had calmed down a bit. He excused my behavior by blaming it on my excessive amount of estrogen. Amazingly enough, he allowed me to go dine out with him and Elijah for lunch. Upon telling me this, he also informed me that I should dress 'appropriately' for the occasion. Dream on Pops. I chose a quite the attire that consisted of a skirt that lived up to the name 'mini' and a shirt that read 'I directed Paris' porn movie.' I finished off the look with a silver thong poking out just a bit from my skirt. I hated the look, of course, and would have never been caught dead in it if my anger wasn't fueling my dress code.  
Elijah was, to say the least, astonished. My father on the other hand, had to physically restrain himself from beating me to a bloody pulp in public. As we passed a few tourists and I blatantly yelled out 'Hey baby! Wanna see some leg?' My father covered my mouth and dragged me to the tiny resturaunt while Elijah stiffled a laugh. We entered the resturaunt; greeted by an enterage of Japanese socialites. Wow, this turned out better than I had hoped.  
An hour into lunch, a Mr. So-and-so (I wasn't really paying attention) came to our table to talk to my father. He excitedly introduced Elijah as the heir to the photography company he worked for. But when the rich snob asked who I was, my father stated that I was an estranged daughter he just met. Elijah was bewildered but I expected nothing less. Of course he would say something like that. I made wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Oh well. The man graciously took my hand and shook it, all the while goggling at my legs. Ugh. How disgusting can a fifty year old man get? I quickly went for the Dr. Pepper in a champagne glass and went on to spill it on his coat.  
"Oh my gosh i'm so sorry!!" I grabbed the napkin and smeared the carbonated drink farther into the expensive material.  
"Dammit! You idiot! Do you know how much this jacket cost?!" I cocked my head to the side innocently and grinned my biggest dumb blonde smile.  
"Why? Is it expensive?" My father rushed to the aid of the snobbish man and ushered him into the bathroom, just as our plates were set down. I promptly unfolded my napkin and began to stuff it into my bra, gaining strange looks from passerbys. Elijah lifted his hand up to his mouth, covering up the smirk that had found its way to his face.  
"You surprise me more every time I see you." I grabbed my father's napkin and began to work on leveling out the other twin.  
"That's a good thing, I guess." My attention was focused on Thelma and Louise and not so much Elijah. Yes, I named my chest. I have to tell them apart somehow!  
"What is with you today? I mean, it seems like you're out to destroy your father." I leaned over ever so slightly so that we were mere inches away.  
"Well, my dear Elijah, I am."  
"What?! Why?" I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back in the cushioned chair.  
"Well he started it." When I received a warning gaze from the British cutie I decided to tell all. Some people can be so pessimistic. "He's put me under house arrest because I slept with someone. I'm 19 for crying out loud! Legally, i'm beyond the adult stage. I'm practically 35!! Anyway, he brought my mother into this and is trying to make my life a living hell. It's only fair that I repay the kind gesture." Elijah nodded his head knowingly. Great, I just told my father's future boss that i'm planning on making his life look worse than crap on a stick. "Don't tell him what I just told you though." There was that kind smile again.  
"Don't worry."  
"Promise?"  
"Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."  
"Ew, honey, don't do that." The mental picture alone was enough to cause disturbing nightmares. I reached over the table and took a hold on the pepper shaker. I would be damned if I didn't take this opportunity. It wasn't until after my devious deed of emptying the pepper shaker on my father's meal that I noticed Elijah's saddened expression.  
"So then this means I stand no chance with you." Aw. I totally forgot about the object of British perfection. Well not PERFECTION. Prince William has that job down pat. But it was so close, it was scary. I gently laid my hand upon his.  
"Oh, Elijah darlin'. It's not you, it's me." Actually it was him, but i'm only slightly naughty, not cruel. "You are one of the sweetest, most -"  
  
"Please, don't go easy on me."  
"You're right. It's you not me. You and me together would make everything right but wrong on so many levels." He simply nodded. That went over well.

* * *

Elijah soon parted when my father broke out into hives. I personally found the whole scene quite entertaining, but Elijah thought it best to leave. The guards had also split, considering that today was my last full day in Japan. By tomorrow evening, I would be heading back to New Orleans, equipped with multicolored kimonos and an endless supply of souvenirs. But no Shigure. Even now, as I sit in front of my violet birthday cake (compliments of the hotel) and listen to my father's groans, I can't help but feel bad. Part of it was the bad salmon I ate earlier. The other part was the fact that I was alone for the first time in a long time on my birthday. To a person who loved solitary confinement, this would be heaven. But I had no Becky or Frankie....or Shigure. This sucks monkey balls!! I mean, really! What kind of a wicked man would lock his daughter away from the love of her life? Okay, I see the point in that. But this was a little extreme! I've never been alone on my birthday. Never.  
"Happy birthday to me......happy birthday...to me. Happy birthday....dear me, happy birthday to...me..." I have no life. Well, I did. But it was taken away from me by a man whose main goal in life is to make mine miserable! Why?! I don't know! Maybe he has a permanent mean stick shoved up his mid life crisis ass!! Ooh, wow, look at me. I have never spent a single hour with my daughter so first chance I get i'm going to torture her because she has the good life going for her!! Big Ally McDeal!!! A small knock from my hotel door causes me to come back from my stormy attitude. This better be good! I was moping, dammit! It was the bellhop. I am quickly sobered up of any frustration for this was the same bellhop who slept with Frankie.  
"Oh....hi." He held out a small slip of paper, folded ever so neatly.  
  
"You received a letter at the front desk. The man told us to deliver it immediately." A letter? For me? I quickly snatch it from his greasy little paws and scan over it, completely ignoring his gesture for a tip.  
  
Dusty,  
Please meet me at the house as soon as possible. I have a surprise for you.  
  
Shigure  
  
Sounds fun enough. Plus, he has a surprise! Everyone loves surprises, except those who don't. But i'm not one of those people. I love surprises. What am I doing just standing here and debating my love for surprises? I grab my coat and check on my father before heading out the door. Hey, if he dies, i'm basically the last person who saw him alive. I'm obviously going to need a good alibi.

* * *

Whether Dusty saw her or not, Patricia could only wonder. But she figured that she was getting out for a breath of fresh air and would be back sooner or later. She stuffed her perfectly wrapped gift underneath her arm and began the short journey to Dusty's hotel room. The key was hidden above the door, which could be a direct thanks to Dusty's forgetfulness. Patricia unlocked the hotel door to find an immaculate room. This worried her, for Patricia knew that Dusty was still angry with her father and usually took that anger out on furniture, windows, or even people as shown by the pool scene a few nights ago. On top of the nightstand was single sheet of paper with scribbled handwriting on it. The bouncy redhead picked it up and began to skim over it.

* * *

"Do you think she will like my gift?" Patricia was startled by the small voice of Tohru but quickly ran to the door to meet the jumble of voices following. She could only pray that one person was missing. She swung the door open in time to come face to face with Shigure.  
"Patricia? What on Earth are you doing here?" Her almond orbs widened in terror. Shigure was standing right in front of her....without her friend.  
"I should be asking you the same thing." Without any hesitation, Patricia shoved the paper into Shigure's chest.  
"This isn't my handwriting...."  
  
Dun dun duuuuun. Yep, it'd be longer but I got three kids to take care of. And they're tired. I'm tired. Not a good mix there. 


	17. Like A Fly On The Wall

Yeah, went to the dentist and now I can't talk. So you receive a chapter instead.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. Sad but true....  
  
**Easily Amused: Like A Fly On The Wall**  
  
I was in a complete state of awe and wonder. I was more than capable of breaking into song and dancing like an idiot in the streets. I was free! And I was going to see Shigure!! What more could a girl ask for? Well, a shopping spree, my own private butler, and Jim Belushi as a father. I guess i'd have to wait for Christmas for those. Damn. But like I was saying, I was utterly happy. In any moment i'd toss the umbrella out and begin to dance in the rain. But the rain was terribly cold so I decided against it. Besides, I don't need to get sick on my birthday. I was a little disappointed in the fact it was raining. I mean, is it so much to ask for a clear night on my birthday? Apparently it is. I paused before the front door of the Sohma house, gathering up a look of shock. I figured that maybe they were throwing a surprise party. The door opened with great ease, yet no lights flickered and no one was popping up to yell out a 'SURPRISE!!'. Maybe it was in a different room.  
I tiptoed down the many halls, calling out for someone to show themself. In all honesty, a dark house in the rain just doesn't settle well with me. At any moment, a Freddy Kruger or psycho killer dude in a clown mask would pop out and either tear my new shirt to shreds or kill me with a cotton candy gun. Hey! It can happen! Obviously nobody else has seen 'Killer Clowns From Outer Space'. Rent it. It's a friggin classic. I managed to make it to the kitchen and grabbed the first weapon available : a chopstick. Mental post-it: Ask Shigure to invest in sharper utensils. But this would have to do for now. Besides, I read somewhere that you could kill a person with a toothpick in 250 ways. A chopstick is just a really big toothpick. Almost. I checked out every room except one and that was Akito's room. A room I had pledged to stay away from as long as possible or until I reached the possiblity of suicide. And suicide never did settle well with me. I stuck my hand inside and blindly swung the chopstick around like an idiot. When I hit nothing in a two feet radius, I let my legs follow my arms inside the room.  
It was dark inside. That was probably the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was the tiny dark lump on the far left wall. After a great mental debate between the cricket and Kenny Rogers, I headed towards the object. What I found was quite disturbing. Laying before me in a bloody heap, was a crumbled bird. I yelped in shock. What the hell was going on?! In two seconds flat, my question was answered by a butcher knife thrust into the wall beside my head. What the fudge?! Who threw that?! And where did they find it because I thought I searched the entire kitchen!! I slowly turned towards the knife thrower and found a small figure walking out of the shadows. Please don't let it be Akito. Please don't let it be Akito. Please don't let it be Akito. I watched the thin man stalk towards me and just as the lightning relfected upon his pale skin, I made a desperate attempt for my life with the chopstick. Akito! Damn it all! That's just my luck!!  
"Get away from me Akito! I mean it! There are 250 ways to kill you with this thing!" However, my mind was coming up blank. I mean, really. It's a chopstick. I could shove it down his throat or pierce his eye or drown it in cyanide, if I knew where the cyanide was. But I doubt I could get close enough to actually stab him. The demented soul rushed at me, the insanity coulding his eyes. I barely made it out of his grasp by rolling to the side. Perhaps Lady Luck was indeed on my side for I had rolled to the side of the room with the door. I quickly made an attempt to run to the front door for an escape, but to no avail. In front of me was a puddle from the umbrella I had brought with me and my shoes were never that good with slippery surfaces. I went crashing down, face first and ending with a trickle of blood running down my lip from wear my teeth bit down too hard. I winced in pain but found myself in more trouble than a cut mouth. Akito was descending upon me, but I was in too much pain to run. I crawled to the room beside the puddle, which happened to lead to the porch, and began to throw things in Akito's path. But he had the upperhand.  
I pulled myself into a tight ball as found a walking stick laying in his path. This wouldn't be good. Maybe I could laugh about it later on in life if I survived this. I cringed as the first blow was delivered to my ribs. I don't think i'll ever be able to laugh after this. Again and again, horrid blows were brought down on my body. I lost feeling after the tenth or eleventh hit. The sick bastard then snaked his fingers around my neck and slammed my body against the wall, knocking the air out of me. It hurt to breathe and I was slowly losing conciousness as his grip tightened. So much for Lady Luck. Dumb tramp!!  
"I will not let another LaFayette destroy this family!!!" My head hurt and it was obvious that the rest of my birthday night would be spent in the hospital after this little violent episode.  
"What...are you....talking...about?" My voice was strained by each syllable. My body began to slide up the wall and I soon found myself towering over the Sohma by a good foot.  
"It was YOUR ancestor, Sabrina, who wreaked havoc on the Sohma family. It started with her handmaiden's visit. Two of the Sohma cousins fought for the wench and Sabrina stepped in. She begged the handmaiden to continue on with the triangle for Sabrina feared that one might end his life. But the girl chose anyway and the one cousin DID end his life. Sabrina mourned for the Sohma family, for even she had fallen for the head of the Sohma household. But he had taken ill after the death of his dear family member. Sabrina then sent out the curse. Nobody would be able to experience the heartbreak of love and the head of the household would always feel Sabrina's pain. Like I do. And now another LaFayette has entered this house with the same intentions!!" Interesting enough. But my dear Akito, that would break the rules of Sabrina's curse.  
"That....doesn't...make sense." His eyes widened as my declaration. Hell, I shocked my own self sometimes. But the shock wore off as I felt the power of his infamous backhanded slap.  
"I know my family better than you!!" No, you don't. If that was the case, you'd know how much it hurts them to not be able to embrace someone they love intimately. I struggled to find my voice beneath his grasp.  
"You failed...to mention....the dark force. Sabrina...wanted to...end the suffering. Not draw.....it out. It just....happened that way." Obviously, Nana's translation left out some important facts. But the French are like that, I suppose.  
"Akito!! Let her go!!" Shigure? Akito glared at his flesh and blood before tossing me into the writer's arms, thus changing him into the mutt. I, however, collapsed at his feet. I was too tired to move and too hurt to try. There was a soft touch of a cold nose followed by a sweet nudge. I groaned and patted the ground in hopes of finding a bundle of fur. And when I did, I smiled. Partially because he was real and there was a chance that I could make it out of this with all my limbs in tact. The black pooch graciously licked the blood from the corner of my mouth and turned towards my attacker, bearing the sharps canines and a growl worthy of Cerberus himself. But I didn't want Shigure to tear Akito to shreds, no matter how much he hurt me. This was what Sabrina was trying to get rid of and I wouldn't allow her work to go down the drain like last Friday's bean dip. With my last bit of strength, I reached out for the writer turned dog and laced my arm around the furry mammal so that my head rested on his back. He was quite comfy as an animal, I might add.  
"No more of this...please..." I'm pretty sure he had turned back to a human by then, for I felt myself being lifted up. I'm not that sure because my eyes were crunched shut in an effort to block this situation out entirely. I'm also not sure if the man was still naked. There was a navy blue kimono hanging on the wall when I walked in so it's very possible that he put that on. I don't know. My head hurt too much recount my level of pervertedness. Though it could've very well brought me out of my pain.  
"This ends here, Akito." That's right Shigure. Admit you love me to him and then take me to a damn hospital so they can knock some morphine into me. Anything to get rid of this pain.  
"You do realize that if you admit love right now, she will always be in danger. I will not have her in the Sohma family!!!" Can you believe this guy? He's worse than a mother in law. You know the saying ' a woman's greatest wish is that her husband will be like his mother and her greatest fear is that she'll be like hers''? Well mine's a little different. A woman marrying into the Sohma family's greatest wish is that their curse will be broken and her worst fear is that she will wake up to a crazed Akito with a butcher knife in his hand that will send you to an unsympathetic Dr. Hatori who warned you in the first place not to fall in love. Listen to your doctors, kids. They usually know what they're talking about. Wait, Shigure! Why aren't you saying anything? "That's right. You can't say it, can you? Pathetic!" Shigure!! Shigure.....Shi....And that was it. I was out like Tim the Tool Man Taylor's Christmas light special.

* * *

Maybe if Dusty had held on a bit longer, she would've heard the determined Sohma profess that love she craved for. Maybe if Shigure had been a bit quicker, he could've done it ahead of time before she became victim to unconciousness. Either way, Dusty would wake up feeling rejected and betrayed by the one she cared for most. Life is such a bitch...

* * *

For the love of Ramen noodles, turn off the white!! I'm not friggin dead yet!! Wait, am I? I quickly pinch my arm and squeal in delight when I feel the the twinge of pain. Argh! But the whiteness!! It's a good thing I wasn't dead, otherwise i'd be calling up that cute little bald guy off 'Surprise By Design'. I mean, why does Heaven have to be so white. I'm particular of the color blue myself. Why can't St. Peter dress in a cobalt toga instead of the bland white. I scrunch my nose up and realize that I am a self proclaimed mummy. But on a good note: I wasn't dressed in white. It was a pinkish color. I'm not too pure to be pink.  
"Glad to see you're up." Patricia!!? I sit up too hastily and a sharp pain shoots up my ribs. The perky redhead was by my side in an instant and slowly pushing me back down. "I didn't mean to startle you. You've been out for two days now." Wow, two days? Do you know how much sweet lovin I could've gotten in two days. Yeah, I don't know either.  
"That's...a long time." Patricia sat on the side of my hospital bed and began to pick at her shirt.  
"Shigure has been the most worried. Your heart stopped for thirty seconds when they first brought you here. I thought his heart had stopped beating too." Whoa whoa whoa whoa!! I was technically dead for thirty seconds?! That is the shiznites!! Dammit! I didn't even get God's autograph!! Or Jesus'!! I don't know though, with me being in Japan, I might've been sent to Buddah. I would've been happy with an autographed statue or something. I glanced up at the ceiling with a sly smile. Where are you Buddah? Elighten me dangit!!! Drop some of the wisdom on me with your John Hancock!! Now, I don't know if the wisdom dropped on me but I figured if I use Eastern religion mixed with western science and political slang, Buddah and I could meet at some kind of crossroad and reach an understanding.  
I didn't say much to Patricia after that. It was nice that she had come but I couldn't let go of the fact that Shigure would still turn into a dog. He had the perfect chance! It made me giddy though to know how worried he was over me. Of course, the numerous monitors weren't doing much for me either. They just reminded me of that sex machine in the adult novelty store. I see i'm going to have to buy just to get it out of my head. Stupid machine. It was later that the doctor came in and explained that it was okay for me to travel as long as I didn't do any strenuous activities. Hint hint, wink wink. Speaking of strenuous activities, where was Shigure anyway. Maybe he'd like to come along? Bigger hint hint, wink wink and throw in a nudge nudge for good measure. I surprised myself by jumping up everytime the door opened to my room. The first time it had been Patricia with my clothes. The second time, was Elijah with my bags and the third time was my father and a nurse with a wheelchair. Sadly, no Shigure.

* * *

It was time to finally leave and I wished upon everything holy that the writer would come for me and sweep me off my feet. This was supposed to be a romance! I was supposed to climb onto the escalator and meet Shigure at the top for a flight stopping kiss, just like in 'Cruel Intentions'. But I climbed that stupid escalator and was more afraid that it would suck up my untied shoelaces then seeing Shigure at the top. But no one was waiting for me. I boarded the plane on the brink of tears. I thought that people who loved each other would do anything to see that person. My belief in every Julia Roberts movie was now running low. It didn't always end in a happy ending. There was no Richard Gere in a limo with roses. Now, all I had left to look forward to was a week in bed being pampered with cable and soup. There would also be alot of friends coming over and Nana and Pops would probably make a grand entrance. I just didn't understand it. He said he loved me. So why was I boarding the plane alone?

* * *

Shigure leaned against the railling and watched the plane take off with a little more than a small sigh. He felt bad and honestly regretted not seeing Dusty off. But he couldn't let another brutal attack fall upon her. It was best for everyone if he just let her go.  
"Idiot." Shigure turned his head to meet the firey eyes of Kyou. "You're just going to let her leave aren't you?"  
"Yes. Yes I am. It's best for her." The cat was followed by the doctor of death himself, Hatori.  
"Then you obviously don't know her that well." Shigure's patience was growing thin. Sure, his friend was the one who had kept her alive during the first day, but it was none of his business if he let Dusty go or not. Kyou stuffed his hands into his pockets and smirked slightly.  
"You know, not that it's relevant or anything but if you wanna love her, hold her, squeeze her, but don't tease her....then you got to, got to, got try ta little tenderness. A bright woman once told me that." Shigure sighed once more and smiled.  
"Dusty told you that...."  
"Yeah...nothing relevant ever comes out of her mouth...."

A/N: Have no fear! There will be fluff! And I know the curse explaination didn't make sense, but it will!! So no worries!


	18. Celery Is Not A Comfort Food

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or the song 'All By Myself'.  
  
**Easily Amused: Celery Is Not A Comfort Food**

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

I propose a theory that all girls mope after a horrible heartbreak with food. The forbidden fruit in Eden must've had whipped topping that enticed Eve so much after a fight with Adam that she ate it all up. Okay, she wasn't the only one who ate the forbidden fruit, but I must say at this point that the entire male species just sucks. Don't get me wrong, I love men.....but at this moment in time, I despise anything without ovaries. Since I have returned to America, I have done nothing but lounge in my room watching 'Pretty Woman' and 'The Wedding Planner' again and again, or until I feel like my eyeballs are about to pop out. I just don't know where I went wrong. I had the witty remarks down and the ever so great personality. Right? Oh Humphrey, could it have been the sex?! I shouldn't really be blamed for something like that though.  
Even now, as I lay down on my bed, I can't help but wonder what went horribly wrong that he couldn't even say goodbye. I reach over my beside table and pull out the headphones connected to my stereo. I knew for a fact, thanks to my bra covered clock, that it was well after lunch time and judging by the warming smells wafting through the house, I would soon be listening to my mother's eating lectures. The moping was quite different than before. The first time I had left without Shigure, my diet consisted of ice cream and normal food. But now, my diet was nothing more than a daily dose of compressed sugar. Sugar and fats. I'd start off the morning with a double dose of cold strawberry Pop-Tarts. Some would consider this odd but the crust is softer when they haven't been tossed in the toaster. For lunch, i'd make myself a mocha shake and top it off with a healthy helping of whipped cream. I'd waste half of the can on my shake and then empty the rest of the whipped goodness in an aerosol can in my mouth. For dinner, I would eat whatever my mother provided and finish off the day with a hefty spoonful of peanut butter, complete with nuts. Of course, I'd mix up the junk food diet and sometimes squeeze in a box of left over chocolates or twinkies or even a half tub of Rocky Road. Now this was strange, because I hate marshmallows and the stuff was filled with the tiny Ghost Buster villians.  
I hear a few doors open and slam shut downstairs and figure that it was only Meredith. She still hadn't quite learned that the door should only be slammed if you're angry and hurt like me. But she was young, she would figure it out later on in life. I turned up the volume and rested my head on my arms. I hadn't been out much, considering it took alot out of me just to use the bathroom. This could may have well been because of my injuries, but i'm betting on the depression. There was a soft knock at my bedroom door and I yelled out that they could come in. I expected the person to be my mother telling me dinner was ready or Meredith parading in to lighten me up, courtesy of Henry. But instead, I found a maroon clad Becky peering down at my saddened form. Dangit Beck! I'm mourning a loss of vegetables!! Can't you see that?! I kept only one silver eye open and watched her tap her foot in annoyance. Friends usually pick their battles and I refused to enter World War III.  
"What do you want?" I didn't mean to sound so....eh. But it was freaking me out to be stared down at like that.  
"To talk." Her statement was simple and sincere. She was dressed for the occasion, in burgundy leisures and an equally crimson shirt that sported some golden slogan. It fit her perfectly. Now when did she wear figure flattering clothes? I gazed at my best friend for a moment with my one eye before closing it and making myself more comfortable.  
"Can't. Busy."  
"You're listening to music."  
"See? I'm busy." I could feel her moving around and turned over so she wouldn't decide to belly flop me on my bed.  
"This is crap, Dusty! What ever song it is, it can wait! What ARE you listening to anyway?!" I sighed as she yanked the cord connecting the headphones to the stereo, releasing the melody of a sorrowful song. '...And love's so distant and obscure,Remains the cure, All by mysellllllllf, Don't wanna be all by myselllllf...Anymore'  
"Dusty Lynn!!" I winced at the use of my middle name. I began to wrap the headphone's cord around the portable ear pieces and stuck them in a nearby box. It was one of those clear boxes that also served to hold clothing and what nots. I hated them for one of the damn things served as my underwear box and let's just say i'd like to keep my pink undies to myself.  
"What Beck? What do you expect me to listen to? ABBA? 'Cause I know Momma has one laying around here somewhere!!" Her features softened as she turned the knob down to lower the volume.  
"You're really shaken up about him, aren't you?" Was she talking about Akito, Shigure, or Eric Carmen, the guy who sings the cursed song? I quirked an inquiring eyebrow at my friend.  
"What do you think?" She sat beside me on my glitterfied comforter and embraced me with one arm. Oh, come on Beck! I need lovin' from a guy thousands of miles away, not a Full House moment!!  
"I think that it's not always the guy who should return to the love lost." Well, duh! I'm pretty sure it isn't. But it's always better when the guy does it!! After a few minutes of sarcastic silence, Becky spoke again. "Shakespeare once penned 'To thine ownself be true.'" I finally turned to my partner in crime.  
"Thoust thinkest thine have losteth thy noggin.....eth." I poked her forehead to emphasize my point.  
"Dusty!! Listen to the man! Do what YOU feel is right!! You wanna go back to him, fine. If not, then get out and have some fun while you still can!" I stood up to face her completely.  
"Okay, first of all - the guy is dead. Second, I have neither the funds nor the emotional capacity to go back to Shigure. And thirdly..."  
"Thirdly?"  
"There is no thirdly. That's all I got." I collapsed on the blue bean bag chair next to the bedroom door.  
"I just hate seeing you like this. I mean, I barely know you anymore. All you do is sit around and munch on Pixie Stix or Cracker Jacks." I gave my friend a demeaning glare. I was insulted! How could someone think such an awful, berating, low,......I stiffened as she opened up my desk drawer and pulled out a sugary treat. "Dusty....a Ding-Dong? Of all things...."  
"It's not a problem. I can stop at any point in time." Becky crossed her arms over her chest defiantly as I grabbed the factory wrapped chocolaty bliss.  
"Prove it."

* * *

I waved a lazy hand goodbye as Becky backed out of the drive way. Munching on my celery stick, provided by Beck herself, I decided right then and there that perhaps it WAS time to move on. I began my agonizing walk back upstairs, only to be stopped by the sound of envelopes pushing their way through our mail slot. I shoved the vegetable to the side of my mouth and scampered over to the fallen mail. Let's see here, bill, bill, bill, coupons, junk, dear resident, junk, ooh! A magazine! Junk, junk....Dusty Lynn LaFayette. A letter to me? I tore open the thin seal and checked the address in the corner. It was from the college program I wanted to get into. I quickly skimmed over the paper, a smile playing at my mouth. I fell back, the wall catching my ungraceful body. This was going to take some thinking. My stomach began to growl and I covered the demonic growls with my hand. I would think after dinner.

* * *

Nana had spent a good month with us since my return and I thought it best to take the problem at hand to her. Nana was cool like that. How Pops bagged her, i'll never know. But she was wise and knew that today's generation consists of new rules. I found my grandmother in the guest bedroom dancing to Ella Fitzgerald with Pops. I could only wish that I would find someone to grow old with. Nana spotted me resting on the doorframe and grinned at me.  
"Button! I didn't know you were watching." Pops was still trying to dance with a still partner. "Andrew....Andrew! We have company." He followed her gaze to the doorway and I suddenly found myself growing embarrassed. "What can we help you with, Button?" I eased myself into the guest room's recliner and brought my knees up to my chest. Pops retreated to the bed and a light snore soon followed.  
"It's.....about my future." Nana pulled a chair up in front of me, sandy curls draping the outline of her face. Nana had the coolest hair. It was a light blonde, like my mother's and you couldn't spot a grey hair throughout the wild mane. You could only tell Nana's age by the thin lines around her eyes from years of laughing and smiling. She is what people like to call a classic beauty. Not only can she sport red lipstick like there was no tomorrow and get away with it, but her teeth were the whitest things I had ever laid eyes upon. And they're real, too.  
"What about it, Dusty?" I handed her the letter from earlier and she yelped in glee. "That's wonderful Dusty!! And here I thought you weren't interested in college. "  
"It's only until I receive the certificate. I mean, they pay for the trip and all, but I..." I began to tug at my lip, worry digging its way into my features. I caught Nana's piercing green eyes turn into thin slits and then returning to normal. I knew what she was doing. She was reading me. It was probably the most terrifying thing a person can endure. I once brought Becky to Nana and Pops' place to spend the summer in the boondocks. At the time, Becky was scared about her parents getting a divorce. At dinner, during fried shrimp Friday, Nana threw the gaze upon her. Becky gawked at my grandmother before for breaking under the stare. That night she told me that she thought Nana was about to shove her into Pops' recliner and turn on the interrogation light. But Nana knows when something bugs you. What's even scarier is that she knows the problem. Freaky.  
"You know I almost didn't marry your grandfather?" Whoa! Turn the boat around Nana! She noted my surprise and continued. "Oh yeah! He went to fight in Vietnam and I, being the peace loving woman I am, tried my damnest to stop him." Nana? A peace loving woman? This coming from the same lady who threatened to shove an alligator up a sheriff's ass if he didn't take back the speeding ticket he gave her. Real peaceful...animal cruelty and endangering a man of the law."So he proposed to me and I denied his proposal." A little harsh Nana. I mean it's Pops! Sure, he's not a looker and it more than likely took a few repeating words for Nana to understand that he was asking her for her hand in marriage.  
"Geez, Nana."  
"I know, I know. But I was so fretful during his time away and feared that I had lost him forever. But one night, he showed up on my doorstep soaking wet but alive. I knew right then and there that this man was sent to me for a reason and I vowed never to leave his side from that day on." My vision began to blur. That was...so ...friggin beautiful.  
"So you're saying that if Shigure and I are meant for each other than he'll show up on my doorstep soaking wet?"  
"No, Button. I'm saying that if you love him and he loves you, ya'll will find a way back to each other." I nodded, glancing back at my grandfather's snoring form. Salt and pepper hair graced his head while the mustache he bore still remained a dirty charcoal. He could almost pass for a Rhett Butler if it wasn't for the hair poking out of his ears. Oh well, different strokes for different folks. Pops was still in great physical condition, however, and I guessed that Nana fell in love with him while he was in uniform. Course, anything bearing a uniform is appealing. A small snort escaped his mouth. But then they grow old....

* * *

I thought hard and long on what Nana said. I remained at the bottom of the doorsteps, grasping the letter in my hand. The other hand became a resting spot for my head. I hated thinking. It was just too difficult. I preferred to keep my mind blank. No info goes and only nonsense comes out. I cringed at the slam of the backdoor and watched Meredith waddle into the living room. Her overalls were two sizes too big and I was astonished that she didn't trip over them. Her light curls were scrunched up into a high ponytail. She obviously got her cuteness from me. Underneath her left arm was a large stuffed animal. Almost bigger than her, it was. She skipped over to me, pushing the toy up at my face. Eh, she wanted me to kiss the filthy thing. I raised a palm and shoved the creature away from me.  
"Not now Meredith. I'm thinking at the moment." I knew she found that hard to believe, so she persisted in the action of pecking the thing.  
"Uhn!!!" Son of a biznitch....  
"Fine." I finally took notice of what she was holding. In her small grip, lay a black stuffed dog with perky ears. "Awww dammit, Meredith." I peeked at the letter and then at the pup, racing back and forth between the two images in my mind. I finally managed to take a deep breath and stood up at my full height. "Momma, Dad? Can I talk to you two for a moment?" I took a final look at Meredith before bracing myself for the confronation between my mother and the man who has been more of a father to me in two years than the sperm donor, Fred, had for nineteen years.

* * *

Maggie DeMurr stirred her latte while reading the latest issue of her magazine. It had been a week since her daughter broke the news that she was going to pursue her career. The only college recruit Dusty had talked to, and they had chosen her to take advantage of their exclusive program. A program that would take her daughter back to Japan. The deal was, they would pay for the expenses if she would take weekly trips to highschools and such and give speeches on American traditions. The college Dusty wanted to attend had several campuses all over the world and would choose certain students to experience this if they did the small seminars. In return, the students in Japan would teach Dusty the language and customs. All the while, Dusty could attend college. Maggie also learned that Dusty had taken a part time job teaching American self defense in return for some Japanese techniques. She was quite proud of her daughter. At first, she refused to partake in any of it. She thought that Dusty only wanted to return to the country for the man who let her almost get beaten to death but Dusty assured her that she was doing it for herself. 'Whatever happens, happens. But at least i'll prepared for it, Momma.'  
Maggie continued to read her magazine and began to munch on a celery stick. Dusty had practically begged her not to turn to junk food after she left. Of course, Dusty said this after working out at the gym for five days in a row. But celery is definetly not a comfort food. She jumped slightly at the sound of someone banging at the front door. She hopped off the chair and sprinted towards the door. In front of her, stood a young, attractive young man gasping for breath. Maggie took back the attractive part. The man was absolutely gorgeous. It were times like this that she wished she was her daughter's age again.  
"Can I help you, sir?" The man rested his arm against the door frame.  
"I'm....looking for....Dusty LaFayette." Maggie furrowed her brow. This was strange. Everyone knew that Dusty had gone back to Japan for college.  
"Oh dear Lord what did she do now? Don't tell me she started a damn war in less than a week. Last thing we need is a World War III." The man gave her a questioning stare.  
"What are you talking about? Do you mean Dusty doesn't live at this residence? I was told that she lived at the DeMurr household." Maggie leaned against the door and smirked.  
"Were you now? Yes, she used to live here."  
"Becky told me.....wait, did you say used to?"  
"Well if Becky sent ya then put your rear in gear and get in here, sugar!" The dark haired stranger entered the house and immediately set his shoes at the side. Maggie was about to question his motives but decided to trust Becky's intentions. She motioned towards the kitchen table and offered him a cup of cofee. Upon accepting the cup, the young man began to inquire about Dusty.  
"Could I have an address at where she resides now?" Maggie chuckled. "What's so funny?"  
"Darlin', you're going to have to travel an awful long way to find her. Silly me, i've forgotten my manners. I'm Maggie DeMurr, and you?"  
"Sohma Shigure." Maggie's eyes widened. This...THIS was the man who had stolen her daughter's heart and had almost gotten her killed for it. Shigure noted her sudden look of anger. "Is everything alright Mrs. DeMurr?"  
"Get the hell out of my house! I don't know what you want with my Dusty Lynn but you're not getting it!! Understood!!!? Now get out of my house before I call the cops!!"  
"Please, I have to find her!!" Shigure felt the floor give out beneath him. He had traveled all this way and had finally reached a breakthrough when he spotted Becky at a local burger joint. If he had stayed and listened instead of rushing off when he was given the address, he wouldn't be standing there, receiving the greatest lecture of all time.  
"You have caused her nothing but pain!!"  
"And i'm trying to correct that!! Just...please. I need her." He slumped down in the chair and cradled his head with his hands. "I can't live without her...I...I love her." A piece of paper was shoved in his lap and he picked it up, reading the scribbled letters.  
"She hasn't written us yet, so I don't know where she's stayin. But if you go to the office at that address, i'm sure they'll tell you."  
"Thank you. May I use your phone?" She nodded with a bit of hesitation. After a few moments, he slammed the plastic down in frustration.  
"Something go wrong?" Maggie sipped at her coffee in a calm manner.  
"Flights are booked until Thursday." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. Maggie sighed, knowing she would regret what she was about to say later on.  
"Well.....you're welcome to stay with us, Dusty's family, for those two days."  
  
A/N: Not that much waff....but i'm trying, here! I wanted to tie up loose ends. Next chapter will have some akward family moments and hopefully the reunion between Shigure and Dusty! Hopefully. I'm trying to make this into an even twenty chapters. 


	19. I'll Be Your Dairy Queen If You'll Be My...

A/N: I think I may be able to squeeze out a few more chapters....crosses fingers. And i'll try to do it before Thursday cause that's when i'm moving back to my hometown! If I can't, then i'll leave a few one shots for everyone to keep preoccupied with until I get situated enough to begin writing again. Fair?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket  
  
**Easily Amused : I'll Be Your Dairy Queen If You'll Be My Burger King**  
  
"It's irrational, it's impossible -it's against my religion."  
"You're gay. I don't recall a single religion that deals with the sin of a gay man getting drunk beside a straight woman."  
"Yet. They're discovering new things everyday."  
This was the first topic of conversation between me and my newly found roommate Jeeves. I doubted seriously if his name was actually Jeeves but I figured that if it floats his boat, then more power to him. Jeeves, to say the least, is nothing like the computer search engine butler. For one thing, mine is gay, and has a full head of hair. Sure, that full head of hair has enough gel to fuel a British vehicle, but it's there. He dresses very wildly, mix matching colors and patterns to fit his mood. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this bee preferred his fellow honey makers. We're talking stinger against stinger here. But we became friends instantly and I soon found myself relying on him for the friendship I craved from Patricia and Becky. Did I mention he was from London? I had asked him once if he knew Elijah and he laughed at me. Remember how I said that the cutest Brit was Prince William but Elijah was so close it was scary? That goes for social status too. In the one week I had been residing in Japan, Jeeves had been my savior. The area of the college was unknown to me, nothing like the suave streets of tourist lane. But Jeeves gladly took me in, considering there were very few cheap rooms available on campus.  
We didn't intend on getting plastered that night. Or, at least I hadn't intended to. The man who owns the quaint cafe I work nights at, Shoni, is a terribly old drunkard. But he had also 'adopted' me and took Jeeves and I out on Friday nights. Note that it was to get himself drunk, but he always proved to be good entertainment. This night wasn't any different except it wasn't a Friday and Peaches was working. Another eccentric being of Japan. She was tall and muscular and had the most unique tangerine dreadlocks I had ever seen. It went well with her giant brown eyes. But that was Peaches. She also had quite the attitude. Almost as bad as mine or Jeeves. Almost. She served Shoni another beer and loaded her tray up to deliver to a few college grads.  
My life so far has been pretty peaceful. I made an effort to locate Elijah and Patricia but it's like they have disappeared off the face of Japan. I work part time at what I guess you could call a dojo. Hell if I know. Peaches has tried to teach me the language, considering she's a native to Japan, but i'm not the best student. The rest of my time is either spent studying photography or working at Shoni's cafe. The few hours I have afterwards are spent sleeping next to Jeeves' cat on the sofa. I haven't decided yet if I wanted to contact any of the Sohmas. I trust Nana's judgement in devine intervention but I still have my pride. I was dumped on and I refuse to go back to Shigure as of right now. And who says he'll even take me anyway? I slightly nudge Jeeves' crimson shoulder and nod towards the door.  
"What?"  
"Come on. I'm stuck with an extra shift at that dioji or whatever it's called." Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time with this man.  
"So? I never told you to take two part time jobs." I rolled my eyes, grabbing the small bag I use to carry my things in. Alright, so it could be used as a suitcase, depending on how you look at it. But it's highly more fashionable than a clunky suitcase.  
"Nooooo! I need a test dummy!"  
"No way. Besides, that's what the students are for." Yeah, like i'm going to beat up on Japanese preteen girls. "Anyway, I have to get up early for work tomorrow." There's only one other person who could possibly take the place of a pervert trying to attack me from behind, and I could only hope that the man wouldn't refuse.  
"What about you Shoni?" The old man lifted his head from the table and glared at me. The man could get freaky sometimes.  
"What's in it for me?" Stupid me. I should've stated the right price for negotiations a long time ago. I would've made a great entrepreneur, but no. I chose photography.  
"A bottle of whiskey and the chance to ogle young girls." My offer was tight but I knew I had pulled in the big fish. The cafe owner popped up from the stool and greeted me with a large smile. Yep, he was hooked.  
"Then let's go!!" He began a hasty walk towards the door as I gave my farewell to Jeeves and Peaches. Shoni was already halfway down the block when I managed to catch up with him. He was full of glee and I regretted not telling him he had to keep his hands to himself when ogling. But, that's what a self defense class is for anyway - knocking the daylights out of perverted old men.  
  
"Okay, now the first move i'm going to try on my friend Shoni is the nose crunch. This is very helpful when encountering common thugs. But they have to be in front of you." I placed Shoni in front of me, praying that he wouldn't pass out before I punched him . I flattened my palm and arched it upwards like I had been taught by the she-male from my days of youth. "As soon as he comes towards you, push up with your palm with a whole bunch of force into his nose." I demonstrated on Shoni. Poor sap. Did he honestly think he could get out of the pain? If a robber has to go through it, then so does my dear Shoni. I let the elder hold his nose in pain before continuing. "You may do one of two things, you may run to find help or give him a piece of your mind. In this case, i've had a pretty bad day. So another move you may use while he's down like this is to place your knee under his chin while he's doubled over and bring it up, so it will knock him back." I demonstrated this also. I bet the letch was sobering up REAL quick.  
I went on with my class, teaching the petite girls various moves before letting them tangle with the sand dummies. I think I heard Shoni's back crunch when I flipped him over my shoulder and onto the mat, but my hearing was occupied by the litter of giggles filtering the air after Shoni's various yelps and cries of pain. After the class was over, I plopped myself down on the blue mat next to the tired Shoni. For a moment I thought he was dead, but I was proven wrong as a long groan escaped his lips.  
"Where's my bottle of whiskey?" I patted his balding head and smiled.  
"In due time." In case you haven't noticed, I haven't exactly been myself lately. For one thing, i''ve matured. It's a hard thing to believe, I know. And I hate it as well. And I don't smile as much. One might say it's because my heart has been broken one too many times. I say that it's Jeeves' sincere love for takoyaki. Maybe it's just me, but I believe that anything with eight legs that came from the sea, belongs in the sea and not an ocean of stomach acids. Shoni left straight after that to a nearby bar, which I didn't find hard to believe. However, this would leave me abandoned and walking alone down the dark streets of Japan. Can we say deja vu? Sure you can.  


* * *

I've heard of the word 'karma' alot in my life. But never did I expect to relive the word in my mind. As it just so happens, the first time I walked alone in Japan, I was kidnapped by a mafia of testosterone fueled ingrates. Now, as I walk down these streets and feel the presence of another following me, I can't help but wonder what small object I could use as a weapon to whack Kyou or Ayame across the head and give myself a running start. My pace speeds up and so does my assailant. Two feet turn into four pairs and I finally give in and knock myself onto a wall. Why fight them, right? Besides, the Sohma men are way too pretty to bruise.  
"You didn't even try!" Kyou's scruffy voice was less than music to my ears. It was more of a guitar solo gone wrong by cause of a rocker doped up on crack. I have a vivid imagination, what can I say? I cross my arms over my chest and roll my eyes.  
"Help. Someone. Please. Stop them. Oh God. Better?" The orange haired runt was obviously irritated with me and I couldn't help but smirk. Two points!! That felt really, really good.  
" Could you lower the sarcasim just a tid bit?" I circle my fingers my right ear, well, actually around the onyx stud I sport on the ear, and proceeded to turn it like a knob. After several tries I shrug.  
"Nope, sorry. Guess it's broken. What do you all want this time anyway?" And when I say 'you all', I really do mean it. In front of me stood the aggrivating Kyou, the morbid Hatori, the chivalrous Yuki, the extravagant Ayame, and the exquisite Elijah. Don't ask me how a British hottie was thrown in there because I have learned from vast experiences that you do not question this family's motives for you'll never get a straight answer. I gasped as Hatori took a strong hold on my arm.  
"Where is Shigure?" I'll admit it, I was beginning to get a little peeved. These men had the gall to think that Shigure was with me?! Yeah friggin right. I'm better off being caught with Brad Pitt, let alone Shigure.  
"Hell if I know. Now if you'll kindly let me go so that I can get a good night's sleep for once!!" Where did all that anger come from? I haven't been that bitchy since the day the guy in the chicken suit at the grocery store said that the coke I was drinking would go straight to my butt and quickly added 'but it looks like it already has'. I took it upon myself to teach him why chickens are always fried. Oh yeah, I taught him alright. I taught him through the dairy aisle, the snack foods aisle, and the bakery. And then I was escorted out of the store while my mother finished shopping. I haven't eaten chicken since that eventful day. The doctor's grip lightened a bit and I nervously ran a hand through my hair - which I had cut. The once bountiful head of hair now flows to my shoulders only.  
"You have no idea where he is?" I quirked an eyebrow. This was slowly freaking me out.  
"Did I stutter? Why would you ask me such a thing anyway? If you remember correctly, he made no effort to keep me around." I swallowed hard as Hatori began to pull me away.  
"I think there is something you should see..."

* * *

This sounds awful, but I honestly thought they were going to show me a suicide note or a half eaten shark head. They were talking like the man had just run out on them and it was my fault. And the shark's head? I don't exactly know how to describe that one. I just pictured a decapitated Jaws during the walk to the Sohma house. And to think, I didn't touch any of the alcohol offered to me at the bar earlier. But the sight in front of me was entirely something else. Laid before me were about twenty or so pictures, each depicting me in a different scene. The first was the original portrait of myself that I had found the night I lost my virginity. The next few were various moments between Shigure and myself. There was one of us kissing the night in the garden and a few of me struggling with Hatori. There was also one of myself in the corner of an elevator, blushing innocently. He had remembered so many details! The last picture was what brought tears to my eyes, though. It had been crumbled up and then smoothed and then crumbled up again. I could only wonder how many times my Shigure had repeated the action. It was drawn with nothing but a pencil and depicted me, bloodied and broken, gripping the neck of a black dog. My face was half buried in the ebony fur and a small trail of blood was trickling down the side of my head. Funny, but I didn't even remember that wound. A person could find me as a child by looking at this picture, but the way he drew me- the articulate curves and etched features could tell otherwise. He had caught me as a vulnerable woman. But what surprised me the most was a shocked Akito, shadowed in the corner. Why did he seem so surprised?  
I picked up the scattered sheets of paper and crammed them neatly into my bag. Carefully wiping away the stray tears, I glanced back at the Sohma family. They were worried, that was obvious. But what comfort could I offer them? I had no idea where the man was and I wasn't going to just drop the education I once hated down the drain so that I could contact John Walsh and post the writer's picture up on cable television. Besides, I feared that if I _did_ give America's Most Wanted a picture of Shigure, he would actually _become_ 'America's Most Wanted' - male bachelor that is. I could give them nothing, and I felt horrible for it. Because, if you really read into it, they were all there for me in one way or another. Hatori had taken care of me when I got myself into trouble and even warned me about Shigure so that I could avoid a broken heart...or a broken ribcage. Yuki....well that one is too obvious. And Kyou...it's strange, but he gave me an outlet for my anger. I'd yell out my frustrations because of him. And who could forget Ayame? The man has superb tastes in evening gowns. I rubbed my neck and sighed. This family had given me so much and I couldn't even produce a tiny bit of information for them. I wish I could have.  
"Here. There was one more." I peered down at the piece of paper Hatori was producing. Sketched on it was a girl in a wheelchair, actually it was me in a wheelchair, in the hospital. My hair was covering my eyes but you could see a single tear falling down my cheek as the sun entered my room. I could clearly recall that morning. I took the picture and headed back to my dorm room. I could only wonder how worried Jeeves' had become.

* * *

"No, I sent her to the Sohma family. I know! That's exactly what I said when I found out from Ayame what had happened between the two!! I know!!" The shrill voice of Jeeves rang through my ears. Why that little queer!! He knew all along! I pushed open the front door without a single squeak and sprinted towards the telephone so that I could push the button marked 'Speaker Phone'.  
"It's such a sad story..." Peaches! Those conniving little...yeah. REAL worried, weren't ya'll?  
"Yeah, almost like a soap opera, right?" I could hear Peaches give a little 'eep' before I spotted Jeeves become as still as stone. Uh- huh...caught in the act you damn 'send the Sohmas after her' - er.  
"Uhhh....I think i'm going to hit the hay. Night you two! Kissey- kissey!" With the mood I was in, I didn't care if Peaches go suckey suckey. I'm bitter. I need ice cream. I climbed into the butt crevice I had made on the couch and glared at the gay man next to me. He panicked underneath my gaze and broke the intense stare with light conversation.  
"So....how was work?" I pointed my finger at his invisible third eye. That's right. When words fail you, bring out the index finger. It's worse than cuss words and can't be reproduced in the court of law, unless you count fingerprints.  
"How dare you...." My voice was low.....too low. The kind of low your mother gets when you stay out until three in the morning and return home with shaving cream on your shirt and chocolate chips sticking to obscene places. Or did that just happen to me?  
"Come on Dusty...." I turned my head away as he wrapped an arm around me. "Becky told me the whole thing last night. You and Shigure are madly in love and he tried coming for you but missed you by like a day." I couldn't believe this! First my own 'Queer Eye For The Straight Guy' betrayed me and now my best friend?! I mean, a guy with way too much fashion sense is one thing but....shut the rooster up. Did he just say that Shigure was in America? Looking for me?  
"What did you say?" The old Dusty was slowly replacing the new model. The innocence, the quirkiness,.... the irrational anger ,was claiming me by the second. Jeeves just stared at me as I ran over his cat to grab the phone. The operator, the ringing, it was all a haze. Before I knew what was happening...  
"Hello?" That voice. That happy go lucky but sometimes shy, boyish voice was on the other end. So close yet....actually he wasn't close at all. We were quite far away. My voice was failing me and I wished for the voice of Roseanne at times like these. Roseanne wouldn't falter. Course Roseanne also made a mockery out of the 'Star Spangled Banner' in front of thousands of baseball fans. I'm speechless, not stupid.  
"Shigure..?" There it was! Sure, it was barely above a whisper, but it caught both Shigure and Jeeves' attention.  
"Dusty?!" There was some slight shuffling and a few shouts and I figured that most of my family was present around the Japanese heartthrob. Hey, was that my cousin Sammy I hear!!? Sammy!! But my voice left me again. It hurt so much to hear his voice straining to reach me and there were so many questions I needed to ask him. And Sammy's squeaky voice didn't help much. I fear for the son I might never conceive and his years of puberty. The phone begin to fuzz back and forth and I figured he was on the kitchen cordless. "Dusty? If you hear me then i'll be home Thursday and I need you to meet me at the adult store." I held back the tears and hung up the phone. I had heard enough. My mind went blank for a few minutes before Jeeves' voice woke me up.  
"Huh?"  
"I said 'are you okay'?"I nodded and politely excused myself to the kitchen where I had spotted a hammer earlier. With a small mental debate, I launched my fury upon the plastic phone with the hammer and continued to smash it to little bits. First hit: THAT was for taking me to Hatori when I hurt my wrist. Second hit: THAT was for kissing me the night you found Aubrey's picture. Third hit: THAT was for breaking my heart - TWICE. Fourth hit: and THAT... was for breaking my nail just a second ago...dammit that hurt. I winced in pain and dropped the tool to the floor. I half expected Jeeves to either damn me to hell for breaking his retro phone or embracing me for hurting so badly inside. Instead, he threw his fists into the air like some football fiend and gave a warlike squeal.  
"Whoo!! That's my girl!!!" He walked over to me, minding the scattered pieces of broken plastic. "So...what happened?"  
"He's at my Thursday....wants to meet up at the first place we ever saw each other." Jeeves nodded knowingly. Pfft. As if he's ever fallen in love with a writer and then was attacked by their kinfolk! He's got as good of a chance as Hulk Hogan scoring with Nessie. I've seen weirder things happen everyday though. For instance, on the latest tabloids - 'Man Gives Birth To 130kg. Monkey-Alien'. That's just....wow. I would never believe a monkey weighed in kilo-grams could be in the tabloids.  
"So what are you going to do now?"  
"What do you think? He hurt me! He's broken my heart! He took my damn virginity and expects me to fall head over heels for him time and time again!! What do you think i'm going to do?!"  
"Buy me a new phone?" Hmm....that was unexpected but i'll have to sound the buzzer on that one.  
"No..." It was then that I could smell Jeeves' expensive cologne on me. He was right up in my face like the drill sergeants on talks shows. Except i'm not a juvenile problem child.  
"Are you going to sit there and just take that punishment?!"  
"No!"  
"Are you going to give up the best years of your life so that you can have the one man that makes you happy?!"  
"No!"  
"Are you going to let everyone push you around and tell you that you HAVE to be with him?!"  
"No!!"  
"Do you love him?!"  
"No!!" We both paused at the last question, surprise clear on both our faces. " I mean yes...YES! Where did that question come from?"  
"I dunno...it just kinda popped out." I nodded in agreement and shifted my weight. It didn't last long, however, for Jeeves was in army mode again.  
"So what are you going to do?!" Images of the times I had cried were now vague. Instead, visions of a man causing me to fall off a stone ledge, a dog licking the tears from my face, sweet nighttime kisses, a presence near me when I slept, pictures of me silouetted against the sun, pool fights, and waking up next to a man who, deep down, I knew would do anything to see my happy again, floated throughout my brain. I knew what I had to do.  
"I'm going to go pick out the hottest outfit I own and lay it out for Thursday!!" Hey, I had to do SOMETHING. I at least wanted to look good when he showed up. Besides, it's better to look gorgeous during that meeting. Or would you rather me tap him on the shoulder and be like 'I'll be your Dairy Queen if you'll be my Burger King and we'll have it your way.' I stopped using pick up lines....like....senior year. I paraded towards the cubicle that Jeeves likes to call my room. I would SO definetly have to call in sick for work that day.....wait. DAMMIT!!!  
  
Umm...yep.....next chapter might be awhile.....


	20. You're Like My Favorite Pair Of Underwea...

Woohoo! I'm situated and back in good ol Austin! Sorry an update has taken so long! And it's time. Every good thing has to come to an end, and this story is no different. Ummm, expect a new story for Inuyasha and a possible sequel to this story, if any of you have any ideas, that is. I'd really like to hear them! Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. Nor do I own Liz Phair's work.  
  
**Easily Amused: You're Like My Favorite Pair Of Underwear**  
  
Shigure could feel the eyes upon him like they had been for so long by every family member. It wasn't the fact that they were constantly watching him, it was the fact that it happened to be all the women of Dusty's family who had been watching him. Especially the one Dusty called Nana. The first day hadn't been so bad. Maggie DeMurr had welcomed him with open arms after he explained his side of the story and her husband was on his side right away. He had claimed it was 'a man thing'. The little girl, who had stolen Shigure's heart right off, would sit beside him constantly conversing with him in a language of pure jibberish. But it was the second day that he will forever regret. He had been looking for a fallen object underneath the table, when he heard a few strange noises, followed by a rude palm to the rear. He froze and listened to Nana gripe about how she wished she was still young. Lucky for him, it was the third and last day that he had to spend at the DeMurr house.

* * *

" I don't think he's coming." THIS is why I refused to have anyone come with me. I love my friends, I really do. But it's THIS kind of negative energy that makes me want to run them over with my Pinto. I wouldn't, cause I mean, the police would figure it out sooner or later. But Jeeves was truly wearing my nerves down like a fingernail file. And it wasn't like I had expected Shigure to be there at that exact second, but come on now! Moral support would be nice here. REALLY nice.  
I had thought long and hard on what to wear, what to say, and where to sit. In the end, I was sporting a sleek green dress, sitting on the same stone ledge that I fell off of when I first met Shigure and would ultimately recite some love sonnet that I found in a magazine. However, after three hours of waiting, and a spilt shake, I ended up in a pair of jeans and a velvet blouse, sitting at a patio retreat, and cursing myself for ever bringing Jeeves into this. Oh yes, it had been quite the entertaining ride. I stood up as yet another dark haired man stopped beside the stone ledge. After several seconds of doing the tango with the furniture, I managed to sneak a peek at the man and discovered that it wasn't Shigure at all.  
"It wasn't him." It came out more as a lonely whisper than I had planned. I sat back on the plastic chair and sipped at my drink that Jeeves had so graciously bought me after our little incident with the shake. After several hours, Jeeves had to go to work, leaving me in a place I knew all too well but preferred to be around other people. I leaned back in the chair, resting my sneaker clad feet on the table and reclining ever so slightly. It was a nice position and I soon found myself falling asleep.

* * *

Shigure had loaded the plane after several half hearted good-byes. He would genuinely miss Dusty's mother and father, but the other part of him was thankful that his rump would no longer have to put up with Nana's insistent butt grabbing. After that awkward situation, he could live happily and peacefully as long as he would never have to endure another like it. With a smile and a wave of the hand, he was on his way back to Japan and back to Dusty.

* * *

I awoke with a start, thinking that hearing Shigure's voice was just another one of those dreadful dreams that seem so real and are so great, you honestly don't want to wake up. I hate those dreams. I once dreamt that Leatherface from 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' had abducted me and I was forced to drive around my neighborhood in a commercial vehicle, talking to a pink bunny. Note that the original movie was set in the backwoods of Texas and I live in the suburbs of New Orleans. That's quite the geographical difference, kids. I pushed away from the patio furniture, and rubbed at my eyes. I couldn't believe what the silver orbs were producing. There, standing at that blasted ledge that had forced me to meet the doc of death, was my one and only Shigure. I didn't know such an image could be beautiful. Okay that was a bit cheesy, but when people are that in love, okay, when I'M in love, everything looks beautiful. Even the tiny black spider crawling over my hand seemed....  
I screamed out in fear for my hand, forgetting that I had originally been reclining backwards. Low and behold, I had fallen. And i'm not talking about the emotion either. With rump high in the air, and my feet twisted up in cheap plastic, I watched helplessly as Shigure wandered the tourist filled street, searching for me. It was such a sight. All that anger just melted away like a push up pop. So maybe not ALL the anger. I mean, the guy broke my heart- twice. Dos. Deux. Double. That's enough to send the mafia out to kill him. Not that i'm involved with the mafia. The closest i've ever gotten is sitting two feet from the television during Sonny Corinthos' five minute appearances on 'General Hospital'. Well, I take that back. I once hit on an Italian guy at the carnival and his wife/girlfriend/mistress/whatever warned me that I would swim with the fishes if I didn't lay off. Which kinda surprised me because I swam with the fishes every time my family went to the lake for summer vacation.  
"Excuse me, have you seen a girl with brownish hair and silver eyes walk by here?" Joy! The stranger shook his head and kept walking. However, I was in complete shock as his arms snaked around another woman's waist. Sure, it was from behind and she had really long auburn hair. But I mean come on! My butt is NOT that huge. Even Sir Mix Alot could tell the difference between us. Ugh. Shigure should've been wearing his glasses for this occasion. I pushed myself up from the cement and ran towards the writer just in time for my supposed twin to turn around and slap him. He held his cheek and glanced around to see if anybody had witnessed the scene. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing, but that obviously didn't work out that well.  
"Dusty?" Now, if this were a Julia Roberts movie and Shigure was my Richard Gere, there would be some sort of sappy love song playing in the background and all the while, we would stare each other down in a sentimental gaze that apologized for us. But this isn't a movie and this is no ordinary romance. I busted out into a fit of giggles, immediately regretting it when I felt my sides go numb.  
"You dorkus!! I can't believe you would just go up to anyone and hug them like that. You should be thankful your canine didn't come out then!" He blushed underneath my laughter but gathered up enough of his dignity to pull me up to his chest and kiss me. My knees became wobbly and I was thankful for once that he had me in such a hold. Last thing we need is for me to fall down- again. "You think that counts as an apology? Most men bring roses or some huge caravan of surprises....no you just-"I was abruptly cut off as his lips made another pass at me. "And another thing -"So much for chewing him out. Once again, my mouth was covered by his own. After several minutes of this intoxicating kiss, I suddenly felt as if he could do no wrong. He stood on his heels and smiled down at me.  
"You're absolutely right. Most men WOULD bring something." He shuffled around in his coat pocket and brought out a small black box. Oh my gosh! It's a diamond! Or an emerald! Or maybe both! Either way! He's proposing!! In the name of all that's holy including Swiss cheese, he's proposing! I could barely contain myself as the lifted the lid and revealed a shiny, silver......Claddaugh. My Irish wedding ring. How did..when did....aww nuts! "You were expecting something else?" Well, yes, I suppose. Don't get me wrong here. I'm just happy I have the man I love in my arms but this would've been too perfect!! What came next was what really surprised me. He grasped my hand and slid the ring on my finger, facing the heart towards my own organ that I forget to cover during the 'Star Spangled Banner'. "You once said that if the heart on this ring points outward, your heart is free to roam for love. If it's pointing towards it, you're heart has belongs to someone. I can only hope that it belongs to me." That was so...friggin...what's the word i'm looking for? Great? Wonderful? No, that's not it. My thoughts were abruptly cut off short as he lifted me off my feet and held me close. I squeezed my eyes shut and awaited the hard pain to my rear that I usually received when he turned into his shiggity dog self. Only there wasn't such a crash. In fact, I felt no fur, nor did I smell the awful stench of puppy breath. I pulled myself away from him, reluctantly might Iadd, and searched for some meaning. I mean, I sure as hell didn't hear any confession to Akito from him.  
"You're.....you're not a dog." He laughed at bit at my remark and ran a hand across my cheek. A cheek that had been bruised by his own blood relative.  
"I think every man would like to hear that one little stuttered sentence." I totally agree you sexy hunk of butter. Don't ask for even I do not know what the little monkey is typing inside my head. And trust me, everyone has that little monkey or even a gerbil constantly running in that endless cheap treadmill. However, my brain monkey smokes bananas so my head gets a little cloudy every now and then. But that tiny monkey is forever typing the words 'All men are dogs' as if he were a Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining.' Now THERE'S a creepy thought. A psycho banana smoking monkey stabbing at my bathroom door. Right. Sappy moment. How could I forget?  
"But...the curse..." He chuckled once more and ran his hand over the back of his neck.  
"Yeah....that does cause a tad bit of a problem, doesn't it? Well, it's obviously broken." Obviously. I'm not braindead. There's no deceased goldfish floating on its back inside my itty bitty brain. And if there was, i'm quite sure doctors would have picked it up a long time ago. I crunched my brow together and gave a slight pout. I do this whenever i'm confused. "I told Akito the night he....well.....you know." How well I do. It's not that easy to forget such a night. Maybe with a lot of expensive therapy. Shigure tilted my chin up towards him and brushed my lips with a light kiss. VERY expensive therapy.  
I didn't question him. I didn't have the heart to. I was too happy and too exhausted to even bother thinking let alone pondering the idea of Shigure lying to me. A spft chorus line was wailing in my ears and I looked at Shigure through rosey shades. They were actually a cheap pair of hippy sunglasses I bought at a New Orleans mall and they weren't even red. It was more of a tangerine color. But they were shades nonetheless. Don't ever dismiss the saying 'life isn't perfect', because everyone has their own idea of what perfection is. My idea lays in the fact that I can jump around in penguin pajamas or brand new underwear near Shigure and not worry about feeling like a complete idiot. I can got to bed at night and know that the arms hugging me would kill the first person who tried to lay a hand on me. Whether it be the perverted college guy across the street or a gay man who lives with me. Mental post it: Warn Jeeves that Shigure doesn't like it when Jeeves gropes my bootaminous. I know that if a tear falls, he'll try his best to dry them. Life CAN be perfect....if you don't concentrate on the imperfections.

* * *

5 years later  
  
I suppose you're wondering what has taken place since that eventful day. Plenty. There was a wedding, a year later. I guess it was worth the wait. Of course, the honeymoon was a week before the wedding. I couldn't help myself. When you're deprived of something for so long you become a bit ravenous. There was also a child. And when it came to naming, we decided it would be best if we draw straws and hope that nothing along the lines of Dusty ever popped out of our mouths. The names ranged from Blair to Carly to Emily yet nothing sounded right. It wasn't until I had a run in with a Disney classic in an electronics store that I decided upon the name Ariel. Gotta love that mermaid. She has her father's sweet eyes and my wild personality. Great combination I think. The whole family got up and moved to Japan. Dad started a clinic with Hatori and my mother has literally taken the entire Sohma clan under her wing. I warned her it would be a handful, with the curse and all. And she almost had a heart attack when she gave Yuki a tight squeeze and he turned into a rat. It wasn't so much that he turned into an animal, it was the fact that he was a rat.  
Akito had died from pneumonia a week after the wedding. There was a funeral and I attended out of respect. But inside, I was throwing a huge party, the guest list ranging from Keanu Reeves to Steven Tyler. It was soon after that Tohru went to college, leaving a very sad couple of boys behind. They have yet to get over the fact that she's not there. Shigure still writes and has finished a novel recently. I write every now and then but my main line of work is teaching English to the Japanese. My Japanese is still quite sketchy however. I haven't spoken to Fred Monroe in over five years. I sent out an invitation for a wedding but he never responded. Good riddance. I already had a father before she had shown up. Patricia has also been betrothed. To Elijah of all people. I have yet to figure out how those two hit it off. But hey more power to her.  
Jeeves and Peach have moved in together and Jeeves will be leaving for America in a few weeks after graduation. I'll miss the little queer mojo. Becky has also met someone but has yet to tell me who it was. I only know that he was at the wedding. Like that tells me much. I thought I had seen Dubbya Bush at my wedding and she expects me to figure this one out. All in all, life is hectic but perfect. If you look over the tiny details like a four year old whispering in your ear in the morning to ask if we can have doghnuts for breakfast. What do I look like, an easy going mother? No friggin way. You only get doghnuts if you drink orange juice. At least throw in Vitamin C in there if you're going to kill your teeth. You get new ones anyway. But besides that, life is grand. How's that for a happy ending? 


End file.
